I waste a lot of time on Facebook

I waste a lot of time on Facebook even though I don’t really enjoy using it. I always feel like I need to see the News Feed; however this also makes me feel uncomfortable as most people on my Facebook are classmates who I didn’t keep in touch with. I end up getting the feeling that I am socially excluded or that I am being voyeuristic. Sometimes I also post things but they seem to come out very negative, and I regret putting it out in such a public way.
I have tried some methods to avoid Facebook, short of taking the drastic step of deleting my account, but they don’t seem to be working. Help!

Facebook has many positive functions which has become a part of millions of people all over the world.  However it can also become problematic especially when you spend a lot of time and are not enjoying yourself. It sounds like it’s time to first explore whether you are dependent or even addicted to facebook.  This can include (Adapted fromTen Symptoms of Computer Addiction by James Fearing, Ph.D.)

  • A demonstrated “loss of control” when trying to stop or limit the amount of time on Facebook. (Breaking promises to self or others. Promising to quit or cut down and not being able to do so)
  • Being dishonest or minimizing the extent of the time you stay on Facebook, or covering up .
  • Negative consequences experienced by the computer user or his/her friends or family as a direct result of time or activities spent on facebook.
  • An overdeveloped sense of importance for facebook in ones life.
  • Mixed feelings of euphoria (a “rush”), combined with feelings of guilt brought on by either the inordinate amount of time spent on face book.
  • Preoccupation on what other people are doing or saying on Facebook to the extent that it affects your day to day life
  • Feelings of depression or anxiety when something happens in Facebook or someone says something about you to the point where it affects your day to day life.
  • Using time on Facebook to become externally focused outside yourself as a way to avoid facing what is happening in your life, and avoiding feeling the appropriate feelings inside yourself.
  • Unsuccessful attempts to  reduce time spent on Facebook

    • If you said yes to two questions, there is a good chance you do have a problem with Facebook addiction. If you answered yes to three or more, you are demonstrating a pattern of behavior which would suggest that you are addicted to Facebook and/or the activities on it.

    Some suggestions:

    1) With regards to news feeds you can change your settings in your privacy options by unticking show wall post under settings/ privacy settings/news feed and wall in your face book settings. You don’t have to then view news feeds and still keep in touch with people you want to connect with.

    2) Before posting anything, you can first make a draft and save it in word. Review what you have written the next day and if you feel that’s positive, you can paste it to facebook.  Otherwise simply delete and and there will be no regrets.

    3) Have you considered catching up with some friends you have drifted from? Sometimes an SMS or a phone call with “How are you doing?” opens up new doorways of communication, or maybe you get out and catch up with a friend for a coffee?

    4) It’s always a good thing to develop new interests or friendships through joining a club, going out for a function/party or meeting new people while catching up with old friends.

    5) Staying active is another way to get out of home and the computer.  This can be by joining a gym or simply going for a run a couple of times a week.

    If you feel that things are becoming too isolated or you cant get out of staying online , you can also consider seeing a counsellor to get stuff out of your chest and to kick start new plans.

    This entry was written by Ask Counselling, posted on October 13, 2009 at 3:01 pm, filed under Uni life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.