Arriving in Melbourne: my POV + feeling isolated

No preparation could lead me to the big city life, especially not for a small-town girl. I was wedged in the middle, being neither an international student nor an Aussie one, but a Kiwi.

My arrival

“No expectations”, I said, “They inevitably lead to disappointment.”
Yet, subconsciously, I presumed the arrivals area of the Melbourne airport would be spacious and inviting like the Auckland one had been. Pulling my suitcase along the hard floor, I entered a vivacious yet cramped arrivals area. People sat on benches texting, waiting for their loved-ones, chauffeurs were pacing the perimeter, asking people whether they knew the person written on their plain pieces of placard, and the others, like me, waited in line to purchase one-way tickets to the city.

Alone in Melbourne

Upon arrival into Melbourne, the sight and sheer concentration of people present became abnormally ochlophobic. Imagine you’re standing in a room full of people, but you feel empty. A deep sinking feeling evades your stomach, and you feel truly alone. It’s almost like the feeling you have before you start breaking down and crying. In the first couple of weeks, these fleeting thoughts of isolation were frequent. It happened when I walked the voluminous streets of Melbourne, and when I sat home alone. These feelings stemmed from being on my own, not knowing anybody and hating what I was learning and where I was living. This inevitably lead me to hating everything, making me feel like an outlier in the big city.

Why should I feel alone when I’m alone? I shouldn’t. It was strange because I would describe myself as someone who’s introverted, and who enjoys alone time.

Timeout 

Fast-track to after the mid-semester break, isolation – for the most part – is a non-issue. Easter break exponentially reduced my stress levels and spending time alone, once again, is enjoyable. An activity that really helped was visiting family friends; they helped remind me, unbeknownst to them, of what it felt like to belong and be part of a loving community. I’ve sort of adjusted to my course, but may transfer next semester, and Melbourne has gradually become more like home.

Tips and tricks

After seven weeks in Melbourne, these are my best tips and tricks that helped me combat those initial feelings of isolation:

  1. Acting friendly and talking to people. O-Week was the prime time to do so because that’s when everyone isn’t piled with work, and is still amiable for a chat. It can be as simple as asking someone if they’re lost or if they’re going to the same event as you.
  2. Going to the pit-stop consultations to motivate yourself to learn more and to make study buddies.
  3. Exploring the city, and making it familiar enough to call home.
  4. Joining clubs that suit your interests and chatting about things you like.

Go out there and do something you’ll feel good about! Drowning in misery won’t help.

Even snow won’t stop flowers from blooming.

Thanks for listening 🙂

Grace xo

6 thoughts on “Arriving in Melbourne: my POV + feeling isolated

  1. Lovely first post, Grace. It’s surprising what a friendly smile and a quick hello can do to start a conversation with a stranger – who may well become a friend. Love it!

  2. Hi Grace, I like how you talk about feeling alone in a completely new place. That’s the part I always find hard as an international student, and yet it is not easy to find support from who you usually get support from, such as your parents and friends, who are in your home country and have no experience of what you are going through.

    1. Hi Arianna, I agree. It can be difficult in the beginning, especially as it feels you have to be independent and on your own. Sometimes it can be hard for family and friends to understand what you’re going through. They may not understand why you moan about the most trivial matters — feeling lonely — when you’re studying abroad, an opportunity that many would die for. I think it takes time to realise that it’s not really as bad as your mind sets it out to be. I found practicing gratitude helps.

      Take care.

  3. I hired minimovers to help me with my moved to Melbourne 2 years ago. Then, I have the same situation as you and felt the same thing. It feels like everybody’s eyes is on me. What I did back then was I kept on smiling to strangers.And that’s where I met Lola. My trusted friend in Melbourne. Now she’s in Brisbane but we still are exchanging text messages.

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