Feeling frightened after a breakup

My ex-boyfriend forced me to accept some uncommon sexual views and touched my body disrespectful in public that led me uncomfortable and disgusting. And he tried to persuade me to follow his uncommon sexual actions by using numerous dirty talk with extremely high frequency. In this Easter we broken up, but now I still feel uncomfortable and frightened. Because he know my course schedule and home address and he used to cry in the lobby of my apartment.

It’s important that you always feel safe and respected in a relationship, regardless of any differences in views that the two of you may have. Healthy relationships involve caring for each other and respecting the other person’s right to say no. It’s understandable that you are feeling uncomfortable and frightened, as it sounds like your feelings about these sexual views were not respected and you were forced to engage in unwanted sexual behaviours during the relationship. This is not your fault.

Even after a relationship has ended, it’s normal to still feel uncomfortable or distressed about this behaviour, especially as the break up was recent. It can be helpful to talk about this to someone you can open up to, such as friends, family, or one of the counsellors at Counselling and Psychological Services. If you would prefer to speak to someone anonymously, you can also contact 1800Respect via their phone helpline (1800737732) or online chat.

It’s important that you feel safe both during a relationship as well as when it has ended. If you are not feeling safe in your home or on campus due to your ex-boyfriend’s behaviour, then it’s a good idea to talk to someone about what steps you can take to look after yourself. A first step can be speaking to Safer Community. You can book an appointment to talk about this issue and find out what your options are and what steps you can take.

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