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Have I wasted my time?

I feel like I have wasted the last three years studying a degree that I didn’t enjoy. At the same time, I have no idea what I would want to do instead, and find myself confused and anxious about my whole life. I have been accepted into a Masters program so I’m obviously competent, but the thought of continuing study in the same field depresses me. What’s your advice?

Good question! It’s great that you’re taking some time to ask for help, as it sounds like you’re experiencing doubts about your course and where your life is going. This can be a very common worry for students. What to do depends in part on why you didn’t enjoy the degree. Is it because you are not interested in the topic or have realised you don’t want to work in that field? Or is it due to the way the course was run? No matter how interesting the area, sometimes study can be onerous.

If it’s because you don’t want to continue in this area at all, don’t panic. Continue reading “Have I wasted my time?”


I would like to get the best out of myself

Everything is going okay but I would like to get the best out of myself and feel happy with my life both now and when I am older. Any suggestions?

‘Happiness is not something to be attained but a state that is bestowed as a result of good choices and actions’ (Aristotle). One key ingredient is adopting a positive and optimistic attitude. This allows us to enjoy successes and become resilient while overcoming setbacks. Authentic happiness includes managing our emotions, and identifying our strengths. It also involves Continue reading “I would like to get the best out of myself”


Can you give me some advice about dating?

I’m wondering whether you can provide some advice about dating – I’m in the last year of my degree and I’ve realised that I’ve been neglecting the relationship side of my life for a long time! The last person I ‘dated’ was in high school and since then I’ve had pretty much no experience with guys, which I’m really embarrassed about. I would love to put myself out there, but at the same time I’m worried my lack of experience would show. I’m not sure how I should go about tackling this issue.

First of all, well done on reaching the final year of your degree! Your question raises an important issue faced by many students, that is, now that your study career is drawing to an end, how do you begin focusing on other important life areas, such as intimate relationships.

Clearly you are worried about your lack of experience in dating. However, successfully dating and then building a relationship usually has more to do with Continue reading “Can you give me some advice about dating?”


I would like to get the best out of myself

Everything is going okay but I would like to get the best out of myself and feel happy with my life both now and when I am older. Any suggestions?

‘Happiness is not something to be attained but a state that is bestowed as a result of good choices and actions’ (Aristotle). One key ingredient is adopting a positive and optimistic attitude. This allows us to enjoy successes and become resilient while overcoming setbacks. Authentic happiness includes managing our emotions, and identifying our strengths. It also involves actively building your wellbeing.

Part of self confidence and self esteem is setting challenges and then meeting them. Sometimes being ambitious is confused with getting the best of one self. Ambition is a driver that requires a purpose and direction. It is a means to an end. Getting the best implies just the end. Being ambitious requires you to set goals, have benchmarks, plan, set targets and progress towards these goals and then reflect and learn from the experience.

Getting the best implies that anything less is not good enough. A more dynamic and positive approach would harness challenges that we learn from and skills that we practice and improve. For example getting the best out of university education would include:

– Improving skills such as time and task management.

– Establishing good relationships with other people (e.g. friends)

– Maintaining a good study/social/work balance.

– Self improvement which include self confidence and self esteem.


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