when everything is going perfect, the only way to go is downwards… (Lara)

Just writing to say that i reached a point of my life here where i feel stuck….my boyfriend/best friend and i broke up last friday…which has been a massive shock to me because i well…love him so much? Our relationship was the thing that drove me and motivated me to move to Melbourne. My mum has come down to help me through stuff and as funny as it sounds he is helping me too. life is confusing. sorry to sound so emo…i just feel really lost…i went back to uni yesterday after not going on friday or monday. Have to get special consideration now for assignments and the like. i guess last week is a week i don’t want to remember in a way, what with the death of my friend…the loss of a cherished relationship, and the shock that i moved to melbourne seeing only good things ahead. i’m confused about my course…i have to do a whole extra year now before i can move into vet science because of the non-equivalence between my NSW maths and Victorian maths. i was happy to do that because i was so happy to stay an extra year even if i didn’t want to academic-wise, but happy to stay for the wonderful time i was having here, aka- the relationship between me and nick which holds such an intimate bond.

i guess i just have a lot of decisions to make about my life- uni, college, sports, relationships, everything.

on a slightly better note, the whitley ball is tomorrow night, which my boyfriend is still coming with me to, and i’m going with him and his family to his sister’s musical.

i just realised i called him my boyfriend.

wowwww. seems like cloud nine has suddenly let the rain fall. i just hope i come back to the earth as i fall with it someday soon.’

’til next time,


5 thoughts on “when everything is going perfect, the only way to go is downwards… (Lara)

  1. Sorry to hear that. every first yr is having some problem. I am stressed over my study. Hope u talk to someone about ur problem. GL

  2. Whoa! That’s very full and we’ve just started uni. It’s great reading ya blogs over the past few weeks, showing how things are going all good one second and then the next shit happens =(

    Well, I hope everything goes well for ya regarding Nick, the passing of ya friend and all.

    Here’s my two cents worth. Don’t have to listen to any of it but since I have nothing better to do with my time here you go…

    Life might seem in mixed places for you at the moment but you’ve still got a lot going for ya friends, sport and others. Also as much as it is hard, you should realise that when one door closes another opens and what has happened has happened for a reason – why? I have no idea but yeah there must be some reason behind it 😉 . The fact that you moved, persuing a relationship is a big step (good too and it does show that and she needs to stay focused on your uni course to get yourself through it (apart of it not all!) cos ya here for uni too and allow yourself to pay attention to something else other then the broken down relationship… water polo, you rockle at that!

    About the bf issue… try to work it out with Nick, its never really over till its def over. and the point that your still calling him ‘boyfriend’ and going to the ball/play does mean something. Talk about it with him and remain friends with him which will keep the relationship there in some capacity giving you closure, knowing that you’re still in a relationship with him even though it is not a bf gf one.

    In relation to the passing of your friend it is a big thing and it definitely is very hard period to go thru (I had a mate you passed last year and it was dreadful) but there are people to talk to about it such as your family and friends, use them =). Try remember all the good times you had with your friend and not the overwhelming fact about the death.

    Anyhoo, until next time KEEP SMILING! =)


  3. Lara,

    Life is confusing, but that’s what makes it worth living. If there were manuals for coping with relationship breakdowns and despair, things would get boring.

    Though I can’t profess to understand your situation, I’ll try to offer some assistance. Life throws at us many adversities, and you’ve been hit by a few all at once. The turmoil is exacerbated by the fact that you are in a new environment and university brings huge changes to life. Whilst your whole world may be spinning, you have people to hold your hand so you don’t get lost in the blur. Take solace in the fact that sometimes, almost mysteriously, that things happen for a reason.

    To help get you unstuck, just stop, and go do something to take your mind off the things that are bothering you – grab a few friends and go visit the Zoo or Luna Park, or just drown yourself whatever music persuades you for a while. Think about where you are now, and where you want to go. There will be many other things that motivate you in life and you’ll find that all is not lost. I know it’s a cliché, but things could be worse.

    As for the title quote, perfection is overrated. Indeed the road has the odd patch of mud, and we inevitably get stuck sometimes. This is a terrible metaphor, but remember, whilst you may have hit a mud patch – mud can be cleaned: your car hasn’t crashed. If you want to look at it like clouds, maybe you’ve fallen from cloud nine, but in worldly perspective, it is still seventh heaven. Look at all the good things; you’ve got your health, your family, their support, and you’re working toward something you obviously have a passion for at the best university, and the best city in the country. You have the virtues of youth and freedom and the world is your oyster.

    My sincerest hope that you have a soft landing on your return to terra firma.

    PXW (Standing in the rain can be a refreshing experience)

  4. Hi Lara,

    I just want to say that I feel for the situation you are in and couldn’t possibly imagine how hard it is right now. I think it is very brave of you to post such an honest entry about it…and I guess sometimes they say writing can be “therapy for the soul”. I only hope that somehow you can figure things out. I know there won’t be an easy solution and nothing will get better overnight, but don’t lose faith in who you are, your ability to succeed in life and your own emotional strength. If there is one thing I have learnt in my life so far, it is that you are always stronger emotionally than you really think.

    On a side note: P.Waterstone made a really good point about doing things to try and occupy your mind for a while. Look after yourself, do things you enjoy, spend time with positive people who make you feel good. Getting out and about can be a really good thing in tough times.

    I hope you find the answers you need right now.


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