"I hope you're happy in the end" (Pris)
I’ve had an epiphany. A bad one. At a bad time. I think this is bad.
I don’t think I like my course.
I like uni. I like the people and the environment and the freedom (although, I am beginning to miss structure. I’m such a procrastinator!). I like the campus and the city. I like the students and the tutors and the lecturers. I love Rowdy. I hate myki…wait I’m getting off course. I like everything about uni, really. Just not my course.
I feel irritable every time I even think about it. You know why? It’s because I’m not really sure WHAT I don’t like about it. It’s definitely teaching me things that are relevant to what I want to do. The tutors and lecturers are knowledgeable about the topics and I can’t say that I hate the subjects that I take but I don’t really like them either. Back in high school, I enjoyed reading my readings for History Revolutions and I found understanding Chemistry SO incredibly rewarding and satisfying. I loved English. And now it’s so “meh”. I don’t even care anymore! I’ve given up on all my subjects for no reason! I’m so unmotivated!
Oh, and I feel like my writing hasn’t developed this year. At all. And considering I’ve been writing more this year than I have since VCE started, I think it boils down to the fact that I don’t get any regular feedback from people and I’m really not sure where to find a replacement for what my English teachers used to do at school.
Is this normal? Because I didn’t really do well in Year 11 either but I pulled through for Year 12. Am I just getting into the swing of it? Should I do something about this? I tried asking a friend and she asked me why I don’t defer for a semester or a year – this is Media and Comm’s last year of new students!!! So…I’m gonna ask you guys what you think.
Should I stick it out and possibly waste a few years and/or (even scarier) lose my enjoyment for this area? ‘Cause I want to be a journalist. None of that’s changed.
Should I maybe change courses? Uni? Should I stick it out for a while longer before I try and change anything? What if I change my mind after I change?
…help!
Ps. Defying Gravity – from Wicked the musical. Oh, and on a totally unrelated topic, does anyone else watch Glee? Was your mind also blown when Lea Michelle and Idina Menzel did the acoustic version of “Poker Face”? I mean, I don’t even like Gaga (Please, no one beat me up) but I have their version on repeat. IT WAS AWESOME!
Pris, don’t even worry for a second. I am feeling the exact same as you. Every single thing you said I can relate to completely. I say just stick it out. I think it will get better next year. 🙂
(And for the record, I *love* Glee!)
I’m with Christina. I had your epiphany/crisis back on day four.
When it comes to being scared you’ll be put off liking what you currently really want to do – if its because it’s taught in a style you don’t like and doesn’t stimulate you, it’ll probably push you to be a more innovative characteristic writer. If you naturally lose interest in it, then that’s the way things were going to go, and spending some time discovering what doesn’t suit you isn’t time wasted. (or so I tell myself)
Frankly, I don’t think changing unis is going to change much. I’m just theorising, but I think its more about the people that you associate with during your study, teachers, peers etc. if they’re enthused about the area of study, that’s what’s going to make or break your experience. And there’s probably a similar mix of awesome and unawsome people where ever you go.
but of course don’t listen to everything I say because I’m just a naive first-year xD talk to secondyear/thirdyear/mature students. They definitely give a good perspective on life.
I think we all feel like this sometimes – and I agree with Jinghan that talking to some seniors would be a good idea to put things in perspective. It’s such a shame that you cant defer for a while, because that seems like it’d be a great thing to do.
Good luck working things out, and keep us posted!
oh. you guys all felt this too? …maybe i should go back and re-read everyone’s posts again…
thanks for the advice, though. i talked to my mum (isn’t that always the best thing to do?!) and i’ll see how i feel at the end of the year before deciding anything. i mean, i didn’t work hard all year to get into media and comm just to leave so early, right?
I feel exactly the same. Especially after having failed one subject. Icky.
I guess the main thing is you still know what you wanna do- if you put up with the crap you have to do to get there, you’ll be fine 🙂