Me :) (Monique)
Hi everyone, I haven’t posted in a while because I have three 1000 word essays due on the 14th of September, as you probably guess, I’m thrilled :’(.
I’m going to bring a serious tone to this post, this was really hard for me to write and I debated with myself whether or not to even tell you all this, but I realised that I had to, in case anyone else out there is in the same or a similar position as me, and if this can help anyone, then the struggle I went through to write this will be worth it, to all the readers out there, this one’s for you.
At the end of year 12, I began to experience severe depression, and upon seeing a doctor I was diagnosed with OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and as a side effect of this severe depression. I’ve had this my whole life, and I’ve even had two tiny episodes where it flared up but I wasn’t diagnosed until then. This episode was far, far worse than those previously and this is what led to me needing to seek help. As you can imagine I didn’t have the best of holidays. I’d rather not go into the specifics, but just know that my OCD, doesn’t manifest itself in the form of the stereotypical media portrayal, I don’t count everything, I’m not obsessively clean and I don’t need everything in its place, in fact I’m a total slob, right now my room looks like a bomb hit it. My OCD is more internal, in fact if you didn’t know I had it, you would see no trace of it, the only difference you would see in me if you knew me previously is my low mood. In public, it’s invisible. But this post isn’t specifically about my OCD, I want to talk about how circumstances affect anyone and how we should view this, of course these are my personal opinions and you can listen or disregard them, but I hope these tips inspire you to move past whatever happens to you.
So here we go
Monique’s 3 pieces of Yoda wisdom for those with issues (so everyone ;))
So first of all, as a result of this my school year has been difficult; more than I expected and I have decided to take a year off next to recover and learn how to live with this. Now to everyone out there it is okay to take a step back and say, I’m struggling, I need to take a break. There is nothing weak about it at all; I repeat there is nothing wrong with taking time out. In fact, taking time off means you’re strong, brave and very intuitive, because you’ve realised that there are some problems that aren’t going away in a hurry, and you’ve got to deal with them and that maybe taking a break from things is a good way to do it. How does this make you strong and brave you ask? Because dealing with your issues, realising that a problem is serious enough to warrant a long break and letting other people in is hard, it’s scary and it can take a long time. There’s a reason people push their problems aside and throw themselves into something, because for some people, looking at themselves and really dealing with what’s going on can be extremely painful, but in reality if you push them away for too long, they can get worse, and accumulate until you break down, they will always be there if not resolved. Not to say that pushing your problems aside for the time being is bad, by all means take a holiday, have a movie marathon, take a break but realise that eventually you need to deal with those problems. And after you deal with them, you’ll be a stronger person, because you’ve made it through, you’ve either made it disappear, learned to live with it, or learned how to overcome you’re problems, and now if they ever return, or something new crops up, you will have the tools to get through it, and move on to bigger and better things.
Secondly, if something’s happening in your life that you can’t deal with alone, ASK FOR HELP!! There is nothing shameful, or weak about asking for help, nothing at all, whether it be from your family, your friends, a doctor or your school. You might remember my first post where I talked about my struggle with school and because of that I’ve had help from Melbourne Uni, they have numerous programs to help people with all sorts of different circumstances. The fact that I asked for and received this help does not make me less intelligent, less capable, less hardworking than anyone else in any way shape or form and it certainly does not in any circumstances mean that I don’t deserve a place at Melbourne Uni or any uni for that matter. Anyone who insinuates this is clearly ignorant and you shouldn’t let it bother you. The only thing this means, is that circumstances beyond my control have caused me to need a little consideration when it comes to my studies. Everyone in world at some point in their life will experience difficulty, and everyone will need help at one stage, for me it just so happens that I’ll need a little more help than others for a longer period. So don’t do it alone, you don’t have to deal with what you’re going through by yourself, there is no reason you should have to. Speak up, and you know what, chances are things will get a lot better faster with others helping you. Don’t let the opinions of others make you feel ashamed or stop you from getting the help you deserve.
And lastly don’t let your difficulties define you. Yes, I have OCD, but you know what, that is just one facet of who I am. My name is Monique Lucas, I’m 19 in 19 days ( haha I just realised how awesome that is :)) and I attend Melbourne Uni. I have a Thai mother, an English father military father (technically English, his ancestors were convicts on the first fleet which is awesome!) and an annoying yet lovable brother. I have two dogs, one of which seems to gain weight despite everything we do (I found dirt in her mouth once…. I wonder if she eats it) and the other is completely indifferent to me despite all the love I give him (every time I sit down next to him he gets up and walks away, it breaks my heart every time :’() -,-. I have best friend called Natalie, I love reading, crafts, I’m a nerd, I recently started watching Doctor Who, ( which is a mixture of awesome and what did I just watch ), my future house will have a library in it and I have big dreams that I won’t let anything get in the way of. And yes, I have OCD, but hopefully by next year I’ll be able to state that fact with the same amount of importance as I do when I state the fact that my hair is dark brown. The fact that I have OCD doesn’t change who I am, I’ve lived with it my whole life, for 18 years I didn’t even know I had it , it’s a part of me but by no means is it the most important part. If someone tells you something like this, they are the same person they were before they told you, now they just became a little more interesting 😛 So don’t be ashamed of who you are, or if something happens to you that is out of your control, the only thing you should do, is not let it ruin your life, because life is too good to give up, I mean look at life, it has sunshine and puppies, who doesn’t love puppies? And kittens!! And comfort food, and waking up and realising you don’t have to go to school, so you snuggle into your warm blanket and fall asleep, or waking up to the sound of rain. And of course, puppies, I mean come on, puppies (as you may be able to discern, I kinda love animals with all my heart).
So I hope this advice helps anyone out there struggling right now, and this applies to everything, any disability, any problem financial, and relationship wise, family related or anything else. Life is full of ups and extreme downs, like negative downs if that makes sense, which it doesn’t, but you have to get through it, move past it, learn from it and enjoy the ups when they come, and they will be so much better because you worked so much to achieve them. Although writing this was painful, it was actually also cathartic, so bonus advice, write things down! Or draw them, like a cartoon!!! Or sing them, like a musical!!! Wow I am totally doing that last one, just do anything to get them outside of your head. So yes, next year I am leaving, but I hope when I return I can come back into the sackbut seven 😛 Also, I hope I didn’t depress anyone with how serious this is, to compensate, I leave you pictures of cuteness.
P.S if anyone out there wants to talk, Yodina is in the house! (the female version of Yoda, I morphed during this post) but seriously I am here. Oh, also here is a link to information about the services Melbourne uni provides, I’m pretty sure their all free. And if any of you are not a Melbourne uni student, yet 😉 Just search for services in your area, some will probably be free or at least very cheap near you 🙂