First Term the Worst? That’s Fine.

Let’s just say my name is Momo. Not Japanese for “peach,” momo 桃 // but an English nickname for a nickname “Elmo.” Momo.

I’m a Fine, fine young lady–jks I’m a Bachelor of Fine Arts student.
Not to be confused with “Finance” spoken quickly with a British accent
Or “Fine Ants” spoken quickly with excessive nasal tones and twang
Or a Bachelor of Arts Student (please, stahp ( ; n ; )// it’s not the same)

Basically for an Asian that means I half-hearted VCE and got a 85.25 ATAR ha ha ha(equivalent to a D- in China) and ended up choosing perhaps the least economically promising field. I will explain this in a little more detail actually. Now.

Well, for starters, many galleries have shut-down; sell-out exhibitions aren’t as common anymore. Consumers of Gallery art have been decreasing for a while. I blame this partially on technological advancement. Less people feel the need to experience things in person. There’s a good chance whoever you are reading this right now, you’ve never bought an art-work or a print and a chance you never will. (But Art is SO necessary to humanity, I’m definitely going to splurge in a later Blog about that). There’s also a wider spread of art, and A LOT more competition. And because “Art” isn’t strictly essential to the immediate practical functions of society, it’s a luxury to get funding and a golden gift to have consumers. And I think this sort of situation runs parallel to many other fields.
But what I’ve realised/interpreted more-so in my first few weeks here, is that the Contemporary culture of Art doesn’t want  to make money. They have a “that’s not what it’s about,” sort of attitude. Self-expression is a privilege already, and it wouldn’t be true Art if you were seeking money. That mindset perhaps contributes to the prior. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily, and it makes a lot of sense, but it’s intrinsically dangerous from where I’m standing as a 19 year old. This is where ‘do what you love’ becomes risky. This is why all my friends who were in a similar position to myself graduating year 12 have opted for STEM.

But that’s okay because I’m here instead of a Bachelor of Science degree at Monash.

I think I’ll definitely mention more on this in the future; it’s apart of a very big internal conflict I have and I think discordant worldviews between a student and the perceived culture of a department is a very legitimate thing.

NOTE: These are my views and interpretations of my surrounding environment and do not necessarily reflect upon any of my peers, the staff or the department. #responsibleblogger

And while we’re at it. I have depression. *waves enthusiastically* #tooserioustoosoon #confessionsofdepression #rhymes
Because it’s so common, it shouldn’t be an uncomfortable thing to mention. It shouldn’t be idolised either, and I’m not “proud” to have depression, it’s definitely a progeny, but it makes the uni experience harder, and I want anyone who gets my feels to gain some strength from witnessing my uni-life. #allinthistogether #highschoolmusical #hushhhh

I spent the first two weeks of my course wanting to cry constantly. There was a day I sat at my studio crying non-stop for an hour. I’m not an extrovert and my basket of social-skills are sort of empty. I’ve filled it up with Easter eggs over the mid-semester break instead :L
This is sort of the moment I realised that getting my crap together is now fully my responsibility. My artwork, art form, and art-styles I love were also subtly shat on recently, and my need to think in every direction to appeal to the course environment kept me fiddling my thumbs in one-spot. I also expect too much from myself too soon, which never helps. And just other things like, reading week 2’s timetable instead of week1’s and thinking I arrived an hour early to a class as I sat on a bench and illegally fed pigeons when I was in the wrong location the whole time; thinking I knew the way to the lecture and ending up in side streets navigating on a low-battery phone. Living life on the edge. #specialkindofstupid

But the first step to solving a problem is realising you have one.

Depression and just having a bad start isn’t something I can dictate steps to solve. It’s a very brain thing: Give yourself a lot of breaks #haveabreakhaveaKitKat. Force yourself to finish an artwork as ugly as blob-fish, just to make a start. And to those of you, who like me, didn’t plan to physically make it to University (being alive has been thoroughly confusing), please stay. Please join the Taekwondo and/or Debating club and/or the Choir or any club, and comment that you’ve joined so I’ll finally force myself to tram from Southbank to Parkville to join those clubs too. I’m lazy. That also doesn’t help.

But now I’m trying to remember what I loved about my Art. Not just the things I create, but what I envisioned Art to be. And I’m going to have to fight to remember that. And remember, especially the fine-arts kids (maybe even the design kids):

Criticism is advice you don’t have to take on. But understanding where it comes from makes you wiser.

So if like me, you’ve just been confused and baffled and questioning everything. That’s alright. First term the worst. Second the Best. Let’s make that happen together.

Also, my next post will be short and sweeter, with A LOT of cats. Don’t you worry ;D

Momo~ > u <






One Response to “First Term the Worst? That’s Fine.”

  1. Ariana says:

    So many students can relate to your experience and will draw so much strength for it. Thank you.

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