Inspiring Stuff

Apologies for how late this is.

The other day I reached out to one of my tutors for the first time because I didn’t think I was capable of finishing an assignment (for FODR students, it was “Translate”). I don’t usually take advantage of extraneous support for assignments, I’ve always just done them regardless of how hard my life gets. I told them about the factors in my life currently affecting my mental health, and how I was planning to see a counsellor at the Uni. I also told them I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this assignment to a satisfactory standard.

The other day I also went to CAPS for the first time. CAPS is the UniMelb counselling service. I believe it’s free for up to 10 sessions for all students. I went exclusively for help with managing my assignment, and maybe even getting the necessary resources to request for an extension. Here’s how the conversation went for the most part:

“Tell me about your childhood.”
“What are your hobbies?”
“Why are you crying?”
“You look like you are anxious.”

I didn’t get an extension if you couldn’t guess.
It felt like a waste of time trying to get this extension when I could just lock in and do the assignment. It was was due on May 4th (5pm), and I opened Affinity Publisher for the first time on May 1st.
I did end up finishing the assignment, but suffice to say I was NOT happy about it >:(
Once again, there is no moral of the story. CAPS just didn’t work for me, it’s not for everyone. I finished the assignment I thought I wasn’t going to finish. My mental health is getting better now. Everything naturally worked out as it does regardless of if you believe it will or not. Sorry for a once again unsatisfying conclusion.

In other news,
Since the last time I wrote one of these, I think I’ve changed my disposition of the rest of my life as it currently stands. I’m enthused to know I’m most likely not going into the industry my degree is leading me to. Did you know Google AI just told me only 46% of college graduates pursue a career in the field they studied?

Do your own research if you’re so invested.

Anyway, I’m glad to see this because I don’t know if I’m entirely loyal to Architecture. I don’t have my future entirely planned out. I won’t be mad if I don’t land a high-paying, high-status architect-y construction-y job. I won’t be mad if for the rest of my life I’m unsure of what my career is.

I had another conversation with a friend recently, different friend. We were in the living room of our flat, and she told me not to worry so much about my career and achievements. She said life is about being a good friend, having good experiences, and being happy and well-rounded. She said there’s so much more to life than just to contribute to society. She said school isn’t my whole life, and my career isn’t my whole life. She told me to look around. I realised we are sitting in our cozy living room. The room is decorated with plants, books, and art. In a few hours our housemates will be home, and they are some of the closest friends I have in this city. The window under which I am sitting opens to the roof of our apartment, from the comfort of which we can sit and watch Lygon Street pass us by. Tomorrow, and into the foreseeable future, I will have the privilege of making music and gigging with my friends, buying groceries and cooking dinner, and experiencing the endlessness of the city we live in.

I simply cannot be one of those people who are anxious about the unknown future. Nothing I could have predicted in high school for my first year of university was reality. There truly is no way of knowing where life takes you. I’m not anxious about what will go wrong because it has never not worked out in the end, much like that assignment (oooo that’s right it’s all connected everything comes around).
I’m not too worried about the future, maybe things are looking up for me. Or maybe I’m just listening to a really inspirational playlist right now.