Post 8 UPDATE: High Tea Calamity, NOW with MORE MelbUni!

Good evening to you, sirs and madams, thank you all so very much for coming. May I note that you are all looking especially lovely today? Perhaps it is the opium! Oh ho ho ho! * I’ve been feeling quite peculiar this past day, and I think I can only lay blame on the egg-shaped novelty chocolates I have been consuming! Quite the tasty little tidbits they are!

Well then, on to the matter at hand. I beg your forgiveness, sirs and madams, that I don’t have quite the audacity that I was once associated with. This past month has been rather taxing on us all, and I’m certain you’ll agree with very little cogitation. You see, I am here to call a toast to all the fascinating manners of procrastination that are freely available to the likes of us – yes, even us, in all our splendor and novelty hats (and parsimonious budgets) – made by people not so very different to, but clearly below us in station. Bless them, I say. Bless them.

The first item of this matinee would have to be the kind of loud moving pictures that delightfully explain precisely what is occurring within each frame. There are many different types of these, but that Blunt fellow has always rather vexed me. A man who has named himself Idol has rather smashing taste in gloves, and I also recommend the lads who go by “A-Ha!” as their music is both memorable and agreeable.

Moving on to other interesting artists, The Oatmeal – who is not, in fact, a type of sustenance – is a capable of enlightening you about you, and also draws pictures (with words in!) which describe humanity’s present situation. Fascinating!

For adorable, nonsensical imaginings I recommend to you Tobias and Jube. They are far stranger than I shall ever be, even given that I am preordained to become a cat lady (see daguerreotype) . I have been told so by the clairvoyant man, Ray Banana Comfort!

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Now I recommend this blog with  an admittedly quavering voice, knowing first that I must ask my gracious friends: do you enjoy the recent craze in supernatural phenomena? I realise that this is mostly relished by the superstitious and weak-minded woman-folk* amongst us; oh, do forgive me, ma’ams. But this blog by the wonderful Dan Bergstein is something that will cure you of your absurd imaginings. Sparkling virgin-boy “Adonis” with blood-sucking capabilities? Pfah!

This is another rather nice thing, whatever on earth it is. It is by the creators of The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, which you all know and I would not dare to show that to you, as the rather mean tempered in my audience would be so insulted that we would have to duel at dawn. Mercy, my friends!

I do hope your tomorrow shall be an auspicious one! Oh ho ho ho!

*please excuse my contumacious tendencies! Oh ho ho ho!

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And so ends Week 4. Apart from being sleep-deprived for no good reason at all (see above), I’ve had a pretty easy week. It was one of the few weeks in which I had absolutely no practicals at all, which cut off a grand total of 6 contact hours. So of course, I’ve been amusing myself in other ways.

The Rowdy Beanbag room has been missing me. So far, whenever I’ve had nothing to do (I’ve only tried studying once, it was a fail because I went exploring the Baillieu Library instead) I’ve gone to the Rowdy and found myself a comic. However. This week on Monday I discovered how awesomely close the CBD is – I mean I knew it in theory, and I’d been to the CBD once or twice from Uni – and so spent much of the week exploring. I can now tell you that I know Melbourne Central suspiciously close to off-by-heart, and that there are too many fun laneways in which to spend your money. Melbournites know this already, but as I’ve said, I’m a Melbourne noob.

I spent a lot of money this week. The pittance I keep in my wallet for spending on things such as food and necessities is long gone. It’s not like I made whimsical purchases, I bought easter presents for my family. I get to go home on next Thursday. I haven’t seen ’em for a month, and now that I think about it, I’m not totally certain I wanna go back. It’s extremely peaceful up here, and I’m often alone and I like that. Back home I’m never alone, and peaceful is not an adjective in my family’s dictionary. That and the fact that Mum had my favourite cat put down without planning to tell me. So I found out on facebook of all places. I’m a teeeeensy bit pished off about that, I would have liked to have seen him before he died…

Anyhoo, what with my money gone and all, it is very lucky next week is Member’s Week! There will be easter eggs and hot cross buns and FREE COFFEE ALL WEEK thank god. I see that there will be giveaways also. I do like free stuff. I note also that there are Union t-shirts now. Click the link, go on. See if you can spot the phallic imagery. Yup, I love the Systems Garden as much as the next geek who likes a hidey-spot, but that is a poor representation if I’ve ever seen one.

I have another complaint, but this one is silly and will get me in trouble, probably… But I’ve yet to meet an arts student – and by meet I mean, talk to for more than 10 minutes – that doesn’t have the smell of pretentious, self-absorbed jerk-bag about them. My survey of 4 people can’t be wrong, ladies and gentleman. I’m going to go hide now.