So, What Colour Should I Wear for My Next Date?

 

I have a date coming up this Friday. I opened up my wardrobe and shortlisted these five dresses:

 

1. Little black dress A (with ruffles)
2. Little black dress B (without ruffles)
3. Little white dress A (strapless)
4. Little white dress B (one-shoulder)
5. Little red dress (bustier)

 

Which one should I pick?

 

If you know evolutionary biology and psychology, you would know the right answer:

 

5. Little red dress (bustier)

 

Why?

 

Simply because it’s red.

 

Why red?

 

For two simple reasons:

 

#1 Because red symbolizes sexual appeal.

According to evolutionary biology, being red is a signal to the world that you’re ready for sex. It’s a hint for the males that it’s time to have some fun and make some babies.

 

In human, sexual excitement is often linked to redness in the body’s erogenous areas. Also, why do you think you blush when your crush catches you staring? You’re actually subconsciously sending the forbidden signal. You naughty.

 

On the other hand, in the animal kingdom, blushing is for the amateurs. Animals prefer publicizing their sexual readiness in the most obvious way.

 

If there were an OSCAR for “Best Seducer”, it would be definitely go to (…drumrolls…) the female baboons. These amazing lurers make public their ovulation by having red genitals and chest. How sexy.

 

It’s like saying, “Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. But look at my red butt. I’m ovulating and it’s my fertile days. So, let’s make some offspring.”

 

Now the male baboons know exactly what to do everytime they see some red butts hanging around.

 

 

Since human do not flash their bottoms as readily as the baboons, why not wear some tight red dress to say it for you?

 

Conclusion: Wearing red is saying out loud you’re single, available, and ready to make some babies.

 

#2 Because I like being dominant in a relationship.

Let’s do a small experiment now: go to your nearest opposite sex right now and compare your skin colouration.

 

You will all find this out: a male’s skin is often redder than a female’s.

 

All thanks to testosterone – the hormone of machoness. It’s the male sex hormone that gives men their beard, yummy biceps, and that sexy deep voice. It’s the hormone that gives men their power, dominance, and aggression. It’s also the hormone that gives men redder skin.

 

In many animal species, the dominant male manifests the brightest red colour to show off how tough he is. A great example is the mandrill (yes, it’s Rafiki, the Grand Vizier, who hold Simba up high on the cliff in The Lion King):

 

 

Through evolution and sexual selection, being red becomes a cue that you’re strong, dangerous and powerful. Deep within us all, we are made to be subconsciously very scared of the reddest person in a pack.

 

And if you watch enough soccer and Formula One, you would have figured this out:

 

 

Winners wear red.

 

I’m saying this not because I’m a Manchester United or Ferrari or Chicago Bulls fan (I actually like Chelsea and McLaren Mercedes and I don’t watch NBA). A study has confirmed that sportsmen wearing red jersey/uniforms are linked to higher probability of winning across a range of sports. Wearing red itself is enough to scare your opponents’ pants off. And what happens when their pants are off? They miss the goal and the trophy is yours.

 

Conclusion: Red is a dominating colour. It’s intimidating. It’s powerful. It puts you in control.

 

 
 
 

Here you have it: red is sexy, and dangerous. And I shall let my little red dress do all these jobs for me this Friday night. But I think we’re all a little late in finding this out. Someone has known all these way back in time:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

 
 
 
Vivian Loh is an MBiotech candidate in the University of Melbourne. If you need more dating advice, read this post of hers and decide if it’s a good idea to watch a horror movie on a date night.

 


16 Responses to “So, What Colour Should I Wear for My Next Date?”

  1. crtaylor says:

    Hahaha I had a good chuckle at 50 Shades of Red and loved the Lion King reference. Ripper post Viv!

  2. Vivian Loh says:

    @Jeane: Date went well ;D thanks for reading!

    @Akshaya: Thank you for reading 🙂

    @Sari: Date went well! You should start buying more red dresses!

  3. setiawan says:

    Engaging post. I hope your date goes well. Do let us know. If it works, I’ll start wearing red whenever I go on a date. 😀

  4. Akshaya says:

    Whoa!! Should be careful with picking red now :-p

    Really well written 🙂

  5. Jeane Angelina says:

    Hey Vivian. I do agree that RED is a “naughty color” and it’s the proper color to seduce cute handsome guy :p so, hows your date? 😀 thanks for enjoyable reading!

  6. Vivian Loh says:

    @suyar: Thank you for reading 🙂 And yes, you should really get a red dress!

    @Cameron P: Doesn’t hurt trying! Let me know how it goes if you do wear one for a date!

    @Yogi: Awwwww that is lovely! And thanks for reading!

    @ccroft: I love studying evolution and how it’s affecting human’s everyday life. I think it’s fascinating! And thank you for reading 🙂

  7. ccroft says:

    Fun post and really well written!!
    Cool how you made evolutionary advancements relevant to modern day living!!
    Thanks for sharing

  8. yogi says:

    Wanna laugh first..hahahah…lol
    Vivian, you made a very awesome topic and fun! Love it. Another reason behind the red color is it has love! Do you know why is our blood colored red? Because human beings have much more love inside them rather than hate..:D. If someone has much hate feeling inside it could be wrong with his/her blood.

  9. Cameron P says:

    I am pretty sure that if I wore a red dress on a date I wouldn’t feel particularly dominant 😉

  10. suyar says:

    Such a great post! I just looked in my wardrobe and didn’t find anything red!! I think I should buy a red dress myself for the future. Everyone enjoys being powerful and dominant sometimes 😉

  11. Vivian Loh says:

    @tranv: Thanks for reading! Regarding colour of blue, I read somewhere that people generally like it because it’s associated with clear sky and clean water! I too like blue 🙂

    @Krishna: Thanks for reading!

    @Steph: Thank you Steph for reading and liking my post! And you should really wear red everyday, it does magic 😛

    @Deepika: Thanks Deepika!

    @Hector: Thanks! It either means you really like red colour or you’re trying to seduce/intimidate others 😛

  12. whlau says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH……Great Post! If i got a red colour bag, what does that mean :P?

  13. Deepika says:

    Hahaha such a FUN post! Hope your date goes well and the red dress does the trick 😉

  14. Stephanie Milne says:

    Hehehe, people do say red is my best colour 🙂

    I love the way you write these posts Viv, they are very, well, vivid!

  15. Krishna says:

    I just thought red dress is pretty.Lol.. Didn’t know so much, so definitely red dress!!

  16. tranv says:

    Loved the ‘Call me maybe’ reference! Very interesting post! It’s amazing how one colour can mean a lot to both the animal and human world. Also, I realise I don’t own a lot of red-coloured clothing… I have a lot of blue-coloured clothing. Perhaps, that is saying something or maybe it’s just because I love the colour blue.