Prologue to Third Year (~jinghan)

It’s December 2011 and I walk out of my final exam, a great load is lifted from my shoulders – I survived. The year started with the passing of my grandmother, a broken relationship, a new relationship and a trip into a faraway country. Things weren’t looking so great around June, but somehow having time away from everything to learn to fend for myself and contemplate life has strengthened the character of Jinghan.

In June, I was occasionally bitter and sad and angry towards my friends not because of their faults but because of my own emotional responses; but now I have come to realise the true blessing of having friends of such variety and integrity and cannot wait to return and live life with them. In June, I was taking for granted what a blessing it is to have the family that I do, and now I can’t wait to return to them to make up for all those adolescent years where I squandered the time I could have spent with them by shutting myself in my bedroom with my laptop. I can’t wait to return and harvest as much wisdom from my parents as I can before I have to truly face the reality of independence. In June, I was struggling with my own high expectations in all my classes and angry at myself for failing to keep up when it used to come so easily to me; now I have discovered the joy of wrestling with new knowledge and realised the beauty of looking for true understanding rather than a good grade. In June, I was superficial in my dealings with romance and dishonest with myself about the maturity of my relationships; now I have built up important communication skills and am developing good habits of reflecting on self knowledge.

I feel now, as if I am really preparing for adulthood and dealing with the real world, rather than drifting about in my own world of fantasy and play.

And with these thoughts, I have now entered 2012.