If You're Feeling Sinister… (Cara)

Whew.

First four weeks done and dusted, everyone! Rejoice, sing glory and make your heathen sacrafices of thanksgiving. Do whatever it is that you do when you’re glad, because the first round of assignments have gone in! Oh, Science students will probably start self-righteously bleating about how they’ve been doing assessments since they were neonates, but we Arts kids know the true terror of dropping a 12-point printed sheaf of Arial (or Times New Roman, if you’re feeling racy), duly referenced and cited and painstakingly edited, through an imposing ESSAYS slot.

So. Yes. I’ve devised an on-campus recipe for cheerfulness, for when readings teeter high in wavering piles on your desk, public transport is delighting in mocking your well-meaning attempts to get anywhere, you have holes in your shoes for the the puddles to climb in, and a cough so lung-crunching that people are turning around to stare at you.

Step One: Go to Castro’s (the only reason I’d ever go near the Physics building!) and obtain a mocha. Whether you do it by sweet-talking the baristas, using your Union Handbook free coffee voucher (aha! You’d forgotten about them, hadn’t you?) or even *ouch* shelling out your hard-won cash, you must obtain one of these delights.

Step Two: Go to the Botany building. It’s guaranteed to make you be glad of this uni… and yes, I realise how ingratiating I sound there. But devour your caffeinated, artery-clogging goodness and lounge on a handy bench admiring the vine-covered delight.

Step Three: Nap heartily! Easier to do immediately if you have the delight of living on campus, true, but you could always snooze your woes away in a library, on South Lawn, or even a tram too stubborn to take you where you want to go.

Options for the final steps of the recipe get a little more specific, they might range from having your bike fixed to being given a lump of money from the government, or finding out that this week’s Psychology reading is The Doors of Perception. Whatever you fancy.

Final Step: Remember your umbrella next time you go out. Please! I’ve had too many instances (naive Perth lass that I am) of sauntering out into a sunny day only to return dripping and furious.

So, my disarmingly suave reader, enjoy the formula for joy. And have a glorious Easter. Unless you choose for whatever reason not to participate, in which case, have a simply delightful week in general.