Talk I had with a friend on a cold Tuesday night in Autumn

Hi my name is Mary. I’m studying a Bachelor of Design, majoring in Architecture. Yes, I’ve heard everybody and their mother’s hot take on the work load for the major.

What can I tell you about myself? Should we do an icebreaker?

Fun facts about me ! xD !!!

– I play bass guitar in a 60s inspired band
– I debated studying fine arts because visual art was the only thing I felt I was good at in high school
– I decided against it because, personally, the anxiety of committing full time to a hobby I genuinely enjoyed felt comparable to being held at gunpoint (with all due respect)
– I moved to Melbourne this year, from Adelaide, for uni.

Can I tell you something personal? Are we taking this relationship to the next level? Here’s a conversation I had from a couple weeks ago:

One night I was walking to Old Plates (nice record bar in Fitzroy) with a friend I’d met not even two weeks prior, and we got into a conversation about becoming adults.
To me, 18 was the year you’re constantly thinking “omg, I’m an adult now, how do you use a dishwasher?”. 18 is the year you experience new things, learn how to be completely independent, and I don’t know, find yourself?
What I didn’t expect from 18 is this profound sense of displacement and loneliness, like I’m constantly disassociated from the rest of the world. We laughed about how sometimes, we would find ourselves in a circle of close friends, look at each face in front of us and think, “Who are you? How do I even know you?”. We open our eyes to the lives we are living and wonder “How did I get here?”. We question “is this how it will be forever?”. “Am I doing what makes me happy?”. “Did I make the right choices?”. “Why do I not know anything, about the future, what I want, or what I need to do?”
My friend and I sat on this thought as we walked down Brunswick Street, and under the illuminated moon and the bright neon lights behind bar windows, we came to the conclusion that maybe this is just how it is once you grow up. Or maybe it was just the cold buzzing our brains to incomprehension.

I’m currently sitting in a panel discussion lecture, with real people from the industry (!!!). I’m trying to project my own future onto the lives of these people sitting in front of me. Can I imagine being just like that in, say, ten years from now?
Here’s the thing, you’ve got to remember that the career you think you’re working toward right now is likely not what you will be doing for the rest of your life. I constantly forget how much of the rest of my life I still have. I doubt anything will be the same a year from now, and I’m sure my disposition of adulthood will change in that time. I remind myself of how much I change every year, and how crazy life can become in such a short time. I especially doubt I’ll have these feelings this time next year.

I’m sorry I don’t have a satisfying conclusion for this yet. I’m not done convincing myself that things will change.

On a brighter note… Autumn! How do we feel about Autumn guys? Yes I too am excited to break out my cold weather clothes. Yes I do love cold mornings under my covers!

How do you end these things without it reading like a sad stand-up script?