Pistachios (David)

My lovely Mum dropped by and gave me an assortment of my favourite nuts. Pistachios, almonds and cashews. She reckons I will study better if I eat nuts. I reckon studying is less painful when there’s something to chew on. Anyway, I will remind my Mum next time not to get me Pistachios. Why? Because instead of studying, I am continously shelling Pistachios one by one, until none is left. I remember Mum telling me to eat them in batches so that they will last throughout swotvac, oh well nothing ever goes to plan anyway.

I hate unopened pistachios. They are so bloody annoying. I could just leave them and move on to the next one but having OCD (not really), I have to open every single pistachio, otherwise I will feel incomplete. Who would have known, the new procrastinating tool of the 21st century is the good ol’ pistachio.

I like the word pistachio; potential name for my future son there.

DYK #1 (Did You Know): that Iran is the largest producer of pistachios in the world, followed by the United States? (Source: Wikipedia)

DYK #2: that Wikipedia is a usefool source but it is also EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL during swotvac?

DYK #3: that all my exams are in the first week of exams (this coming week) and I am not very well prepared cos I have wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing? I think I have lost the ability to work hard – forever. I don’t recall being this F***ed before.

DYN #4: that Hearts (the game on PC) is one of the best card games ever invented and also one of the most frustrating games ever? Just ask my computer monitor

DYN #5: that if I was given the chance to redo swotvac, I would?

So boys and girls, before you wikipedia ‘Snoopy’, log onto facebook, open a new game of hearts or unshell a handsome pistachio, think twice. Because for all you know, you could end up with a big fat ‘F’ on your university transcript (not to mention being homeless). Or even worse, you could be watching your real life pass you by.

In other words, stick to the almonds.

EDIT: DYK #6: that I just realised I typed DYN instead of DYK for #4 and #5 and that I typed ‘usefool’ instead of ‘useful’? Can a psychology student please let me know what’s happening here? I am pretty sure its something to do with late nights and early mornings. I will leave the mistakes uncorrected for proof and for your amusement.