She’s Purposely Trying To Ruin My Life!

Ah!!!!!! I am actually not going to elaborate on the effusive title of this post, as she may be reading this as she goes to this uni. She is always one step ahead and totally undeserving.. gah! But she really is the bane of my existence, and I just had to get that little fact off my chest.

On to happier things.

My Dad and I seem to be having major disagreements currently about what is important in my life (funny that it is in fact MINE rather than HIS). Every time I mention an audition or a meeting with an agent or a drama class, he pulls a face and makes some comment about me wasting my time or having messed up priorities. Finishing this Arts degree and doing well are big priorities, especially now that I’m in a clearer head-space to actually get work done. But acting is what I love and what I will eventually do for the rest of my life – the groundwork I put in now simply determines the scope and ‘big-ness’ of my career. So, balancing everything.. it pretty much follows that mediocrity is the outcome of listening to my parents. The only outcome. If I don’t listen to my parents and do exactly as I see fit, there is still a chance of mediocrity but there is also a chance of something wonderful. It’s kind of like Pascal’s Wager for actors. So the obvious choice is to listen to myself and what I want.

But this is a very big task, because it practically entails telling my parents in nicer language to “leave me alone and find someone else to boss around, I can handle myself dammit, I’m 19 years old, go away, I believe in myself even if you don’t, grrr, et cetera!!!”. Much nicer language, but you understand the sentiments and the overwhelming underlying frustration. On Saturday, I have an audition for The Importance of Being Earnest.. one of my favourite plays. It wouldn’t kill my parents to cheer me on for once, rather than carry on about all the ‘normal’ things that I’m not doing. No, I don’t particularly want my license right now, but I do want an agent.

Enough ranting, I’ve just had a rather rubbishy day.