Old traps.

Trying my best to not fall into the same traps as last year.

– Inability to Focus (due to money issues, people around me being less than helpful, boyfriend being distracting, family issues, crippling self-esteem issues, back pains etc…)
leading to
– Crappy Scores
leading to
– Demoralisation
leading to
– Inability to Focus mixed with Apathy for Course and Subjects (whyyyyyy don’t I have a direction, if I had a direction it would be so much easier to pick myself up…)
leading to
– Further Crappy Scores
which will probably eventually lead to
– No Job.

I’m trying really hard to focus this semester, surely I can manage a H2 average if I do my best?

Okay, so I’m doing two Psychology subjects – one is first year and there’s so much information! The other is a second year subject and they want me to write an introduction for a research report on Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. OhgodI’vebeendoingPsychologyforatotalofthreeweeksandtheywantthis PANIC. Calm.
They’re both quite interesting and very information dense, but I should be able to manage.

On a definite positive note I’m doing Sexual Politics, which is the most exciting subject ever and I recommend it for everyone. It is enlightening and causes introspection.

I got myself a bed! My centrelink scholarship came in, and I went to Ikea to purchase myself a bed, some shelves, and a desk so I have somewhere to study. IKEA IS HORRIBLE and I’d rather study chemistry again. They somehow messed up my delivery, so I’m still waiting on an actual bed frame, but I have A REAL MATTRESS NOW! 😀 I’ve never been so excited about having furniture! Also sleeping on the floor was kinda scary because there’s this vent in my room that leaks spiders and flies and cockroaches and mosquitoes.

No seriously, a cockroach landed on my shoulder. It obviously had fallen into the fan blades on the way down because it was missing a leg. I was too stunned to do anything: just stared at the cockroach on my shoulder. RIP little buddy.

In other news, oh god I’m so bad at keeping up with my friends. And making new ones for that matter! Seems difficult to get out of a very paranoid mindset, thank you very much certain old “friends” of mine.

Jinghan sent me a postcard and it arrived today! Thank-you! The postcard’s front message says live simply so others can simply live, which makes me feel bad about having to get new furniture. I’d have bought second-hand but I’d been looking for three weeks to find a bed with no luck, and I sure can’t afford local :s  (also included: look it’s the vent of doom! Please excuse the touch=pad handwriting.)

I’m going to go try an not burst a lobe trying to write a psychology paper.

PS: how does anyone manage a part-time job and uni!? I only have about 16 contact hours but I feel like I’m constantly working my ass off just to keep my head above water! Is there some trick I’m missing?