Writing an Assignment, Cara-Style

Okay, I’ve flipped through my copies of “The Principles of Writing in Psychology” and “Writing for Psychology” (Which are both orange. Conspiracy theory, anyone?) but I feel like the world is lacking a more back-to-basics, stripped-down guide to attacking a lab report from a world-weary second year perspective.

For you, my pretty stars of readers, I’ve broken it into a handy and accessible bullet point format. Let’s go.

1. Wait. Until the due date of your work is actually looming so close that it’s countable in hours, it is ridiculously early to start work. You’re just being neurotic!

2. A few days before (or after, if you want an authentic Cara experience) the due date, start to panic. Intensely. Triple your caffeine intake and talk non-stop about your assignment to anyone who will stay still long enough to listen, not excluding your pet cat. Do not, however, confuse this with actually starting to write.

3. Build a study-nest. I’ve had a few over the years, but my current masterpiece is a 1970s squashy armchair, and a writing desk across which I’ve arranged everything I need to stay alive for several mind-numbing hours. Textbooks, pens, snacks, drinks, No-Doz, painkillers, phone and lucky trinkets are all within easy reach. Accessorise with blankets and cushions to make you feel like this is actually a space you want to inhabit.

BONUS TIP: If your study-nest is in your bedroom, make your bed completely inaccessible, or else as the hours click by, it will entice you in. I cover mine with clothes and books, pointy things and remove all the blankets so sneaky naps are not an option.

4. Dress the part. Pyjamas, cozy jumpers and the most unflattering woolly hat you own are essentials. As well as perfecting your comfort levels, this will ensure you are too unsightly to leave the house and do anything not assignment-related.

5. Really, dears, you’ve got to write the damn thing. See you on the other side.