It's the age of social unrest

Just when my personal problematic period ended, my friends (at least three) started theirs.

Socially:
I have no idea what to do except to give them my opinions – and clearly my views are not compatible with theirs, so perhaps I am better as a listener. Maybe I should listen more, and express myself a bit less. At the end of the days, I am just the odd one out. I do realize my thinking tends to be more mechanical than humanistic. Well, I have changed a fair bit but this is, after all, who I am. I can only hope that with their innate strengths and wisdom, they will eventually find peace.

Medically:
This is when I can do nothing except wait for the results. Again, it troubles me a great deal.

Personally:
I feel that I am completely helpless. There are things that a mere human just cannot do. I think I have just stumbled upon those, all in one go. Iit’s the exciting part of life, isn’t it?

Long ago, I did not forgive emotional weakness. I did not like to hang out with people whom we call “drop-outs”. I did not tolerate insanity.

Now, they all changed. Perhaps, humans are meant to be weak and strong at the same time. It’s like a probabilistic phenomenon: you find it by chance. It is not always there, it just happens to be where and when you are.
In this social life, prejudices should be sanctioned, judgments should be called into considerations of the others’ circumstances, views should be shaped with care and compassion. Rightfulness or righteousness is now just a matter of individual perspectives.
And sanity has now undertaken a new meaning. What was deemed vain is now morally just. What was right has turned wrong. In my little world, there is no longer a distinction between “closed” and “open” – my philosophy of life now solely rests on their interface. As such, I can measure things with an open mind – appropriation of new and old – but also grant myself a chance to retract when novelty has traversed beyond the boundary of my opinionative legitimacy.

For long, I have strived to understand humanity, and still am but not as passionately.

It’s a bit cold tonight.