What Laura Did Next: A Play in Three Acts

ACT ONE: Laura’s Bedroom

Second Semester: Hi

Laura: Who the hell are you? And why are you in my bed? At 9am? Get the hell out!

Second Semester (chirpily): I’m Second Semester, the younger brother of First Semester. I’m here to make all your wildest dreams come true.

Laura (turns blaring alarm off): Well, you’re shitting me. Go away.

(SECOND SEMESTER throws off the cover and begins bouncing on the bed)

SS (excitedly): Come on! Come on! Come on! Time for a Short Fiction lecture!!!!!  

(LAURA groans and rolls over.)

SS: Oh Laaaauuurrraa…..Uni calls.

L: Piss off. I’m not getting out of bed.

SS: Why?

L: Computer says no.

SS: You’ll fail if you don’t go to lectures…I also see that you haven’t bought your readers or textbooks or stationery. You need to be M.O.T.I.V.A.T.E.D, or you’ll fail at life and DIE!

L: Yep. Whatever. Look, I am not caffeinated, and in the last week I have had less than six hours of sleep a night. The last thing I need is an annoying little Second Semester bouncing on my bed. I’m not going to the lecture. I’ll go to Uni at 12 OK. Now get the hell out of my room.

(SECOND SEMESTER leaves the room forlornly. LAURA sighs and falls back to sleep.)

BLACKOUT

ACT TWO: The Spot, Basement Theatre

(LAURA sits with SECOND SEMESTER and close friends CRISTINA and ASHLEIGH in a lecture theatre that looks like a spaceship and a fridge’s lovechild. The CULTURE, MEDIA AND EVERDAY LIFE LECTURER stands up the front, rabbiting on about admin and assessment and stuff.)

SS: Isn’t this interesting?

L: No.

SS: It is a bit.

L: No. It really isn’t.

(LAURA opens her singing textbook and begins reading.)

SS: Um…excuse me…but this isn’t a singing lesson in case you haven’t noticed.

L: Whatever. You take notes then.

SS: You don’t have paper or a pen. You’re UNORGANISED!!!!

L: Hey. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t want to be here. And I’m finding this lecture, and academic learning, and the content a complete wank. So how about you shut up and let me read about something I actually enjoy.

BLACKOUT

ACT THREE: An Ominous Place

LIGHTS UP on LAURA doing an interpretive dance that depicts her skipping the second Culture, Media and Everyday Life lecture, taking no notes, doing no readings and instead singing at every spare moment, studying to become a singing teacher, and staying at Uni for the Centrelink/Scholarship money and because she’s not yet qualified to work full-time in a job she enjoys.

Until next time I remain, humbly yours,

Laura

PS: Since writing this, which I did last week, things have gotten better. I have a few good subjects, am somewhat enjoying Uni, and am in a better place than last week, when the last thing I wanted on this earth was to be at a University. So all is well, I have direction and I’m going to bludge my way through the subject, focus on singing, acting and dancing, and have a good time!

PPS: I got into a play! Uni is good, after all.

PPPS: Hope you are all going well. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.