Chapter Thirty-Three: Science Student Writing Essay = Fish Out of Water (~jinghan)
” [bla bla bla] … mini essay,” the physics teacher says as he announces our latest assignment. there is a short silence before an uncertain murmur diffuses through the lecture hall. An arts stuend would laugh at our hesitation in the face of a 500 word mini-essay. “500 words?! What a joke!” they would say with a laugh.
Indeed, 500 words is nothing. I have to write a 1200 word essay for my breadth subject. “1200 words?! What a joke!” they* would say, with a laugh. But, I protest, it’s not fair. They write them all the time. The last time I ever wrote an essay was back in high school in the last few days before the final exams: something about Hard Times**… And they were one-hour essays written about a book we had spent months studying. University-grade essays are scary. For instance, what the heck is a reference?!
It does not make me feel any more secure, knowing that most of my class is composed of Arts students. We make snide remarks about Arts Students (“Ah… don’t worry, you wouldn’t understand, being an arts student etc.”) but I fear they will get the last laugh when it come to these fandangled essays thingys.
I have two fears:
1) My essay will come out somewhat like a mathematical proof: “It needs to be shown that… given… which implies… hence… therefore… Quad est demonstratum..”
2) It will turn out somewhat blog-like and I will be disintegrated down by the death-glare of academics. “Chapter… today I… he said… she said… but I thought… MY LIFE IS SO HARD! (whinge)…”
I open my email inbox to find “12 new messages”. One is a reply from my breadth tutor in reply to my anxiously sent essay draft-of-a-draft-of-ideas-that-are-not-yet-a-essay-plan. I brush aside the other emails (“MUMS Seminar on Friday”, “Jinghan you’re in this incredible video”, “Hash function presentation”, “Library Overdue Notice”, etc. etc. etc. etc.)
“That lookes like it’s coming along fine. I look forward to reading your essay. I have put another example on the LMS.”
What? Isn’t she supposed to, you know, be nice to me? coo to me like I’m a baby? Give me some hints on what to do? I’m a floundering science student for gods sake!
I decided I need more feedback and write an essay plan. It’s coming back to me: “introduction… paragraph 1… paragraph 2… paragraph n***… conclusion…” By the time I finish I realise that i have pretty much written my whole essay. (I could kinda take out the dot points and brackets and submit it and get a kinda dodgy score!) Was that it? Was that it? Aren’t I supposed to break down in tears because I can’t write essays? What am I going to whinge about on my blog now?
I hit the reply button above my inbox.
“Dear ____,
can you please read over my essay plan (attached).
Jinghan.
P.S. If you are really busy, then don’t worry, I think I may be able to have a stab at writing it now.
With that done, I open my informatics programming assignment. I have scribbled on a bit of paper:
- make movie dict, pickle and save
- find title key words
- find cast key words
- map to movie file and pickle/save
Which sounds all nice and linear (or alternatively – slightly slanted like a big mac) but in reality what I means I need to do is: write something in section B, write something in section C, test, move something from section C to section B and something from section B to section A, test, throw your hands up in the air when red error message appears, try to resolve, throw your computer out the window when red error message does not go away, run outside to retrieve computer, fix section B, repeat until you have a fully (or mostly) functioning program.
Heck! Give me an essay any day. At least it’s linear.****
I’m a filthy arts student, and I totally understood the ‘n’ comment. I take great pride in this.
Good luck with ze essay, they can be tricky bitches, but like everything else, you just have to get the knack.