Tales of a First Year Physics Lab Rat (~jinghan)

A little reminiscing story I wrote for the Physics Student Society orientation week Maglet* the ElectroMAG. Thought you might also like to read it. ^^ Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The First Day

Once upon a time there lived a little lab rat named Jingy. One day little lab rat Jingy heads off in what she thought was the right direction only to find that she walked ⅚ of the way around a building when she could have just walked the other ⅙. None the less, she had made it and walks in the door to find a lecture hall occupied ⅞ by little male lab rats and only ⅛ of which were little female lab rats, (less, if you disregarded any lab rats of unidentifiable gender.) When asked by Prof. Lecturer for his motive for choosing Physics Advanced, one lab rat described it perfectly in the words: “To pick up hot chicks.” However, little lab rat Jingy was not at all put off, and boldly sits herself in the front row next to a lab rat with what appeared to be a spike through his ear and a scowl on his face. “Hi! I’m lab rat Jingy! What’s your name!” Perhaps little lab rat Jingy was a little bit too enthusiastic since the Spike-Ear lab rat mumbles something equivocal before moving himself one seat along. But do not fear my friends, as this tale has a happy ending where little lab rat Jingy makes lots of cool (nerdy) lab rat friends with which to make (cool) nerdy jokes, and continues the semester by sitting in the second row and secretly placing safety pins in the back of Spike-Ear lab rat’s hoody.

Chapter 2: The Lecture Demonstration

One day little lab rat Jingy came to class thinking she has seen all the exciting demonstrations that could possibly exist: leaf blowers, beach balls, lecturer-maiming explosive match-heads… (just to name a few). In the front of the lecture hall is an assortment of strange objects, including what seemed to be a tube of rice bubbles. Little did little lab rat Jingy know what was coming for her. Prof. Lecturer pulls out a blowing vacuum and shows the little lab rats how airflow can make rice bubbles rise in a tube. But then, with a glint of evil in his eye, Prof. Lecturer tilts the vacuum up and rice bubbles are sprayed all across the lecture hall. “Ah, the cleaners hate it when I do this one,” Prof. Lecturer says with a tone of satisfaction. Little lab rat Jingy finds rice bubbles in her pencil case all throughout the following week. At least she’ll never go hungry.

Chapter 3: The Tutorial

This shall be a short chapter of the tale of little lab rat Jingy since Not-Quite-Dr. Tutor walks into the tutorial room and starts writing on the board only to turn around and find the whole class assembled around one lab-rat’s iphone reading xkcd.com .

Chapter 4: The Lab

There is substantial experimental evidence to show that lab rats do not survive three hours in a confined lab environment filled with clag and physics devices without something breaking, exploding or being thrown across the room. One day little lab rat Jingy and other little lab rats are called to attention by Far-From-Dr. Demonstrator who (fails to) show them how to put a ping pong ball in a cardboard tube and flick it out to demonstrate the effect of spin. Cricket-Playing lab rat thinks he can do better and takes the tube and ball from Far-From-Dr. Demonstrator. Suddenly, balls (and tubes) are flying through the air in all directions. None of them had any spin. The experiment was deemed a success.

Chapter 5: The Exam

One day little lab rat Jingy walks into a large examination hall with her little lab brain crammed with all sorts of physics. Three and a quarter hours later, little lab rat Jingy walks out of the examination hall and all she can remember about physics are matters regarding safety pins, rice bubbles, xkcd and pingpong balls.

The End