Introvert, extrovert, doesn't matter…

Have you seen the rather hilarious X-Factor video where a contestant sings “extrovert, introvert, doesn’t matter” repeatedly? Besides being entertaining (go watch it…), it’s actually kind of true when you reach University. It doesn’t matter whether you’re shy or outgoing, we’re all in the same boat!

I came from a year level of 14 people to a University of over 52,000 students, which is a significant difference, though it sure doesn’t feel like 52,000 students (unless you’re in a library looking for a seat…). When in high school, I was very introverted and focused. I knew I wanted to get into Melbourne and I knew that I had to work exceptionally hard to achieve the ATAR I needed. Most of my lunch times were spent in the library, all of my free periods involved breaking into spare classrooms because my friends were too talkative, and when I got home, I studied for hours, never quite feeling like I’d done enough work. My social life was non-existent and I only saw friends at church or on Friday nights.

During my gap year, I was still quite introverted. I was working full time, but I would get home, write a blog post, make a YouTube video, watch YouTube videos, chat to people online, make food or read. I wasn’t used to being able to say, “yes! I’m free!” It was a reflex to say, “sorry, I’m busy.”

However, this year, I have really come out of my comfort zone!

 

When O-Week began, I decided that I was going to make a concerted effort to be more outgoing. Often, people had thought me rude or arrogant because I wouldn’t speak to them initially. I was very shy, but we all know that shyness doesn’t always come across the way we want it to. At the beginning of O-Week, I had been to several Academic Skills seminars and had barely met anyone. I had bumped into plenty of people that I already knew, but I had not been particularly ‘outgoing’. Then on Friday I signed up to a club. I put on a big smile and my confidence cap, walked up and said, “hi!” Everyone in the club was so lovely and inviting, and starting classes the following week was much easier with this little boost.

In all honesty, I have been concerned at how much social time I have taken during Uni hours. Despite only having classes three days in the week, I am in every single day (big commitment from a suburbs kid) either going to meetings for the club, having hot chocolate with friends, studying in groups in MSD classrooms, watching movies in lecture theatres after hours, and playing futsal. I find the break from study and classes has done me the world of good and I am not suffering from stress like I did in high school, nor am I neglecting friends or hibernating at a desk.

All of my fellow introverts must be thinking, “you’re not an introvert then.” To be honest, many people have told me that this year. I disagree… I still need my time alone to recharge and I still value private study and peace and quiet. However, I find that studying with a group motivates me (who wants to be known as a serial procrastinator?), and hanging out with friends is necessary to maintaining low stress levels. When I lived in the deep hole of introversion with my homework, I did enjoy being alone and studying, but it wasn’t healthy and I did become quite upset and depressed.

However, being outgoing is never easy as an introvert. I admit I am not the most introverted person in the world, I can survive sleepovers and camps (sometimes), and while this has been extremely difficult to do, I did it! And I want to encourage everyone to give it a shot.

Confidence isn’t something you naturally have. It really is a ‘fake it til you make it’ scenario. No one is going to judge you if you smile and introduce yourself, and if they do, that’s their problem. I would love to meet each and every one of you! And I am sure there are plenty of people who feel the same. So introduce yourself, make some friends, have study dates, hot chocolate dates, movie dates, play sport… Enjoy life!

Top tip: Think of at least one thing that you are passionate about, and after introducing yourself, ask their opinion on that thing. I have made so many friends just because I said I like tea…

 

Be bold!