Chapter Seventeen: If ignorance is bliss, it is folly to be wise (~jinghan)

People are understanding. But I still feel guilty.

“Hi, I short circuited my stress fuse. So I don’t think I’ll be able to come to your party today. Have a nice birthday none the less. I hope you understand.”

It has come to a point where my love affair with my planner has gotten out of hand and is starting to corrode my previously healthy (questionably monogamous) relationship with life. The fact that I had planned out every day of my holidays with no room to spare on either side was weighing on my mind like a tonne of bricks. My evenings were becoming dreadful recollections of how tiring all the things I usually enjoyed had been that day. My mornings were becoming a dreaded walk down the plank towards another day loaded with obligations.

And so I did the unthinkable.

I cancelled every appointment and commitment I possibly could for the week. Not even my yr10 in2science class was spared, nor my harp lesson, nor parties, nor maths revision session…

Some terrified part of my is gnawing my fingers off, scared that someone will get a big fat permanent marker and print “UNRELIABLE AND SELFISH” on my forehead. But some other suppressed part of me is slowly creeping back out into the sun to enjoy the freed up space and time.

I relax my obligations to a strict sleep regime (ironically insomnia laced) and talk to my friends until 2am. Despite the fact that I have to leave the house at 8am the next morning, and I know from experience that the earlier the morning the more dread one feels towards the impeding day.

My morning surprises me. Instead of feeling the weight of the grey clouds, I find myself walking down the street revelling in the smell of crisp dew-soaked leaves, and the slight autumn chill in the air that clears your mind as you walk. I have a meeting with my project team for a couple of hours, but the fact that I have the complete rest of the day unplanned and open to spontaneity frees my heart and mind.

—

And just because I can’t help getting obsessed by my happiness essay, here’s something that is funny and inspiring that made me smile:

Blissblog: Thank you so much for agreeing to give this interview. I know you must be very busy. New sayings of yours seem to be popping up quite regularly.

Confucius: (Laughs). I have nothing to do with most of that. People are making up stuff! And Chinese restaurants are only the tip of the iceberg.

[…]

Blissblog: Yes, but how can we change ourselves? How can we become happier?

Confucius: That’s the million dollar question. Many people think that we can find happiness through “positive thinking.” Thinking happy thoughts. Try telling that to someone in deep depression. “Positive thinking” may be a state of happiness, but it’s difficult to attain without action. One of my most famous Japanese followers Ogyu Sorai, put it very simply. “You cannot change the mind only by means of the mind.” That’s like trying to hoist yourself up by your shoelaces. The key to “positive thinking” is positive action, and especially the practice of humanity.

Click here for the full article “A Conversation With Confucius” by Dr Mark Setton.