Best Mate’s 21st (Jeremy)

Just recently, I attended a best mate’s 21st and was of course (rather dangerously, if you ask me), asked to provide a speech. Instead of going on and on about the party I think it’s probably best to reprint the speech I gave.

I first met Brok in ’95, when we were only in Year Three
A small boy who was adept at drawing aeroplanes and twisters
Doing flips on trampolines, attired in our dungarees
We stopped and propped in time for lunch, and then we bitched about our sisters

We were together in 5R, the naughtiest class since creation
They’d run amok and yell and shout and all without repercussion
Nothing could hold our attention, till of course Sex Education
We all sat down in a circle, and attempted “Class Discussion”

One small boy piped up and asked, “Why do condoms glow in the dark?”
A question that would’ve surely vexed us to this very day,
Had not of course, young Master Brok, been blessed with a mind so sharp
He stuck his hand up and announced, “It’s so the sperm can see their way!”.

I left the College in Year Seven, moving on to greener places,
And I found it hard to see the little friend I’d left behind,
There was a new world to explore, and those new exciting faces!
Twas then a sudden realisation briefly flitted ‘cross my mind;

The best friendships are never those maintained by convenience,
Without suffering tribulations, obstacles both wide and tall,
Instead I find that they are those weathered by experience,
So when asked whose side you’re on, you’ll know exactly where to fall.

So when all is said and done, and time has washed the words away,
Should he have nowhere left to run, or no pennies left to spend,
I’ll be there to break his fall, as he’d break mine in his own way,
And that’s what I think you’d call, the definition of life-long friend.

In terms of adapting back into Uni life… eugh! On Friday I had the 21st, and I stuck around the next day to cleanup… the net result was not enough sleep (I had to grab forty-five minutes just before work to stay sane) before evening work as an Aquatic Engineer (well, ok, dishpick). Then, on Saturday and Sunday nights, I had a shocking temperature which resulted in me lying awake sweating for a good four hours a night when I really should have been asleep. Earlier today (Monday), this all finally caught up with me after the first 9.00 lecture (6.30am wakeup!) when I was exhausted to the point of faintness and nausea. As I slumped against my locker at 10.05 with my eyes closed Dear Kim (who is normally the studious one!) suggested that Chinese class was an optional extra for today and I could not agree more… before running off to the bathroom! (I managed to retain breakfast, for those of you interested in my health and wellbeing, but it was a close-run thing). Two hours later, I was immersed in a hot bath with a good book and a little bit of Gastrolyte in me and memories of good ol’ food poisoning in China (without the bath of course) had begun to resurface. I’m feeling better now in the evening – though I think a sleep-in is in order!

Best of luck for the first week back,

jez