When you search for just a little [Hope] (Sophie)

Well…the last few weeks have been busy to say the least. Add to that a lack of sleep, close friends with serious problems…and other life issues – well let’s just say my patience with people is being tested.

I’m sick and tired of needing to be in 3 places at once, (Wednesdays are the worst)…and it’s frustrating because I feel like I’m alone in this regard. I get people telling me “Hello! You’re first year! Why are you so busy?”

Sometimes I don’t even know how I fall into this schedule of running from place to place. I think it just relates to the great need I feel to do my absolute best, to achieve, to contribute and be a part of, uni life.

A University education is to me, something that must be experienced – hence my continual self-push to be involved in as many things that I deem important.

Overall…my motivation is the fact that I know so many people would give anything for the opportunities being thrown as me right now – and I will not take everything I have for granted; I owe it to all those who are without, to become something, to be someone who can change the state of the world in the future.

This optimistic nature of change embedded within me, has however, suffered greatly over the last week. I have seen so many displays of selfishness in my fellow peers…it makes me so angry and upset. But at the same time I think this selfishness is merely sheer ignorance, and hence you cannot blame people – BUT I DO!

Have people always been so rude, so self-obsessed, so lazy? Or is our consumerist, inwards-looking nation simply the driver of such ‘new-age’ attitudes?

The small things mean so much though, and little things can restore some faith in humanity for me.

Yesterday I rushed out of my accounting tute (I faced an hour of needing to be at 3 places at once)…walking/running. I realised that I’d left my favourite wrap draped over a chair in the classroom. I rushed back, to find that a girl from my class had seen it and stayed back 5 minutes hoping I might return. I was so taken-aback by her thoughtful nature…she was so sweet and I couldn’t stop thanking her – and then even I felt like I myself had fallen victim to these modern times because I didn’t know her name! Unfortunately, this particular tutorial is one of those “anonymous” types ones…where silence prevails, no one knows anyone…and you sit alone (though I have managed to befriend one lovely girl, an international student).

As I rushed off to a meeting after getting my wrap back…what followed was an interesting experience which led me to question my personal nature, one which is direct/honest and free of self-censorship.

This meeting was for a certain organisation/group/club that is starting up within Australia. I had heard about this group a year or so ago via the internet, but had never taken it further because their name (despite being a play on words) offended me to an extent – and still does.

I am however joining this group because of the prospects it offers- very good ones at that…and also, for what I personally see in the values behind the group – “a network of women from culturally rich backgrounds who possess enormous intellectual firepower…they know what every ‘old boy’ networker knows…that it’s all about sharing one’s best relationships with trusted friends.”

Talking with the lady who was organising the Australian launch….I tried to be enthusiastic (I WAS enthusiastic)…about this women-only networking group, focussed on helping women achieve their career goals and breaking through the ‘glass ceiling’.

Since there was a focus on getting people to join, particularly outside the Commerce sphere of academia and the lady I was speaking to emphasised this, I made a very casual reference in a light/joking manner to “a few feminists from the Political Interest Society” who may be interested in joining.

Immediately I was rebuffed in quite a serious manner…”Oh no, this is not a feminist group…that is not the aim of the group…I wouldn’t want to associate with that kind of thing.”

Quickly I was in damage-control mode, praying my PR skills would make the cut. I think I did OK because she happily gave me her business card at the end of it…but my respect for this women who prided herself on being an ‘entrepreneur’ faced some questions.

At the same time, a stunning and very intelligent young student who was standing, talking with us had, only minutes before my comment, mentioned that her boyfriend did not respect her input into his business decisions because he thought as a woman she knew nothing about the building industry. This stunning young woman also seemed rather shocked when I aligned ‘feminism’ with the club.

Why is it that to be a feminist is so wrong these days? Why do women themselves not want to be feminists? Why was my comment so horribly misinterpreted and rejected?

I would regard myself as a feminist…what is wrong with that? Does it mean I won’t get a job? Are people afraid of me because of that? Am I looked down upon because of that?

In my eyes, there is nothing threatening about feminism -to be a feminist is not to be a militaristic, bra-burning, unshaven woman of the 1960s.

To be a feminist in the year 2006 – from my perspective – is to simply believe that equality between men and women is fundamental to a healthy and democratic society, and that we have not yet achieved full equality, hence we must still discuss, argue and encourage change until the statistics prove otherwise and equality is so deeply embedded within social norms that it no longer is an issue to single out.

I believe that I am my own person who should make my own decisions, I will not be controlled or dictated to by my father, male friends, boyfriend or my future husband – for I know what is best for me, not anyone else. I will not accept lesser pay than my male colleagues, I want every man to believe that I am just as capable as he is – I want to reach those top positions in companies e.g. CEOs and boardrooms, and [in the future] I do not want to be penalised in the workforce for having a child, I do not want to be looked down upon for being a mother, I want to be a mother who HAS a career… I want every woman in the world to command the same level of respect as men do.

Is there something so wrong with this when men have had these rights for hundreds of years, while the majority of abuse in the world still happens to women, and women and children still make up the majority of the poorest of the poor in the world?

I am not saying that we haven’t come a long way [at least in Australia]. This is not a man-hating rant in the least.

I believe that the majority of my male friends (and I have many of them), treat me on the same level as them and respect me in every way.

I know that men in their late 20s, 30s and early 40s are also typically informed in their views towards women and are well beyond any of the sexist attitudes found in the past.

I am sure it helps that many of my younger male friends have grown up with feminist mothers, whose mothers in turn were feminists, and the older generations I know grew up in the era of the 1960s, 1970s…where feminism was a very ‘out there’ issue.

However, my point in question is that sexism is still to an extent institutionalised in the way we live. Even when attitudes change in people, attitudes entrenched in institutions can remain the same. It is within this respect, that we must realise change is still waiting. –If we want it?

For those who decide the future of our nation – our Parliament – is still overwhelmingly represented by males, females in CEO positions are a rare commodity and representation in boardrooms even less so. When it comes to pop-culture and the media, I have to question even further at what time exactly, it was decided that “Raunch Culture” was OK?

For many of these things, perhaps it is simply a matter of time before change occurs. For other things, I think perhaps the problem lies more with people being unsure of what they really want society to accept and portray.

But despite this, I think it is most important that we maintain a strong element of knowledge, questions and discussion in regards to the role of women in society – we must not let sleeping dogs lie. We – women, and those men we hold dear, must join together to ask as one, what kind of values we want our country to accept and value. The battle may have been won but the war itself seems clearly far from over.

I am left with many questions and, on top of everything else on my mind right now, a strong sense of discomfort in regards to this ‘feminism issue’. Immediately after the meeting in which a mere mention of feminism was criticised, I rushed to find J and vent to him about what I had experienced. Diplomatic, realistic J told me that the majority of people do not view feminism the way I do and unfortunately, because of this, I need to be careful what I say to people.

Such a large part of me fears this is right…I have experienced these feelings before; this is not the first time (and will not be the last). But is censoring a view, I see as fundamental to life, right?

This year my dream of University being a place where people are on a quest for knowledge and understanding of different cultures and values, has been shattered in many respects.

However, my faith in humanity prevailing, despite the odds, still remains. When you push deeper, and challenge the thought patterns of many people at this University, you will find that many ARE willing to consider things differently. [HOPE!]

I still love this place more and more every day because of the excitement of it, the exuberance, the glory of youth, the intellectual stimulation, the people from every which-place; however I guess the reality compared to the ‘ideal’ (which I know is impossible in existence), is that University is merely a microcosm of society as a whole. Hence you get the good, the bad and the ugly.

-Sophie