La Vie Bohème (Michael)

Since this is my first real entry, I thought it might be an idea to recall the orientation experience briefly. (It does seem somewhat perverse for a first entry to be a retrospective, dear reader, but we’ll carry on nonetheless.)

It’s hard for me to remember now what, exactly, I was expecting or hoping for from orientation, but I imagine it was along the usual lines of (academic) life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Failing that, égalité and fraternité would have run a close second.

I. Host Program and Faculty Welcomes

While it was nice to have a group and a purpose, I didn’t particularly enjoy the host program. I couldn’t (or wouldn’t, I suppose) relate to most of the people in the group, but I did meet a rather interesting young man from Malaysia — we later lost ourselves in the crowd at the student services carnival, and haven’t seen each other since. So it goes.

The opportunity for small-group questions with informal answers was good. There are official answers available to many common questions, but none of them reflect the savvy that an experienced student will have (e.g., the best way to use Alloc8; or finding out that manual tutorial sign-ups aren’t the stately process described in official literature, but a bloodthirsty struggle for the best times). After that, we played “bang” until it was time for the faculty welcome. I was shot by a girl wearing large shoes.

The faculty welcome made me regret coming in that day. Like the enrolment day welcome, it seemed to scream “Are you a moron? Do you lack basic inductive reasoning skills?! If so, Commerce at Melbourne is the right course for you!” Constant repetition of basic instructions — largely information that most students would have gleaned from the several hundred pamphlets mailed home, or a cursory glance at the faculty’s website — and a faint disregard for individualism left me cold. The only part I felt worthwhile was the introduction of the faculty’s Teaching and Learning Unit, although a little more information about their services would have been good.

The student services carnival was a good idea, and even though I didn’t stop at many of the booths, the signage gave a nice general overview of what services were available. After that, I went home.

Highlights: Watching a Socialist Alternative recruiter sneer dismissively at our group (with the large Commerce balloon) when his companion asked whether we were worth targeting. Also, I got a balloon that said Arts and a water bottle that says ROCK ENROL and a fridge magnet that says YOUR LIBRARY BOOKS ARE DUE BACK SOON.

II. Academic Orientation

Much was made at the Commerce faculty’s welcome of their extensive academic orientation programme. Hogwash, unfortunately.

The microeconomics lecture I attended was a combination of administrivia (that was repeated, of course, in the first real lecture for the subject) and some examples of Real Live Economics in Action that were so ultra-simplified as to be deathly dull. When I fronted up for my sample tutorial at my assigned time, it turned out all the tutorials were full, and I should “come back later”. Somehow, that slipped my mind. Oops.

The school of Classics, on the other hand, had the right idea. An informal morning tea upstairs in the Old Quad (a gorgeous building, by the way) was a lovely way to meet students and staff alike. I met the lecturer for my Ancient Greek classes, a very sweet guy who I’ll call A.O., and a couple of students who are also in the class.

I’d missed Anthropology’s welcome because of the Economics lecture (yes, dear reader, a very silly choice), so I went straight to the French welcome after Classics. A little woman with a rather grating manner gave information about the different streams, and I left 35 minutes later with the distinct feeling that I should have just read the subject’s handbook entry and saved myself 30 minutes.

Highlights: I got a pink pen that says “School of Historical Studies”. Only, I can’t write with ballpoint pens anymore on account of an unfortunate tactile addiction.

III. Clubs and Societies I

I had my driving test on the morning of this day, so I didn’t arrive until the afternoon. After perusing the list of clubs in one of the various pamphlets I had, there was only one that I really wanted to join: the debating society. So I did. After that, I wandered through the tables looking for other interesting clubs to join.

A peculiarly large number of clubs seemed to have very specific memberships in mind, such as the “Turkish Students’ Club” or the “Singaporean Exchange Students Who Like Knitting And Were Born On A Monday Or Thursday Club”. I put my name down for the “Arts Collective” mailing list, and then I went home.

Highlights: I got a bottle of chilled water from the Baha`i Society which says “water • cleanse from within • let your soul glow • social dinners • unwind events • scenic camps”. I tried to reuse it later, but it made the water smell rancid.

IV. Clubs and Societies II

I didn’t really “get” why there were two days scheduled for clubs and societies, so if I hadn’t booked a library tour for this day, I probably wouldn’t have come in at all.

The library tour was okay. I already knew most of the stuff, but I did learn something about periodicals and microfilms. After the tour, the library lady gave us green evaluation forms for the tour that had smiley faces on them. I would have filled mine out but it was torn when I pulled it out of my backpack again.

After that, I went back to the Union Lawn to look at the clubs again. The clubs were in different places today, which was good. I saw some that I hadn’t seen on the day before. I joined the Arts Students’ Society. From their promotional literature, it looks like a bunch of vapid drones who have interminable parties and drunken orgies, but I joined anyway. It’s important to support student organizations, especially since the introduction of VSU.

Highlights: The close proximity of The Liberal Club and Socialist Alternative. Hilarity, as you might have guessed, ensued.


After that, I went home. When I got home, I said to myself, “now I am oriented.” And that was the end of O Week.

8 thoughts on “La Vie Bohème (Michael)

  1. I agree with you about the host program – I would have stayed home if i knew…

    The academic orientation was ok. Clubs and Societies days were interesting.

    HIGHLIGHT: I really enjoyed the freebies. They were great, don’t you think?

    After O Week, nothing in me really changed: “I’m going to uni. Let’s get on it”. All I needed then was to be able to read the campus map in the first days, which I managed.

    I hope we can meet each other some day,

    Cheers.

  2. The Student Services Carnival seems to be placed in the O-Week program purely to separate host groups. When I was in first year I lost my group then (and never saw the other members again – or if I did, I didn’t remember them) and this year, having decided to host, I managed to lose half my group somewhere in the seething mass of ‘ickle firsties’. I did manage to find them again though. 🙂

  3. Exodius:

    Perhaps I gave the wrong impression: I do think the host program is a good idea, and (given some kind of Groundhog Day-esque “do over”) would certainly go again. I just didn’t particularly like my host or group. That, combined with the horrible faculty welcome, soured the day for me.

    Yes, I enjoyed the “freebies”, but I also think it’s a little sad that they’re necessary. I suppose Clubs & Societies have always had to offer some kind of incentive for joining, but it saddened me to see that the Student Union itself was reduced to that level. I don’t agree with everything the Union does, but while they’re subsidising counselling, advisory, and medical services, I consider it a moral obligation for every student to join.

    Quincy:

    My host group had (mercifully) disbanded by the time we went to the student services carnival. You’re right, though: despite its deceptively small size, the Union Lawn has amazing powers of geographical discombobulation. Did you enjoy hosting? If not, at least you now have a T-shirt which will surely make you the envy of all.

    —Michael

  4. “Quincy”?

    Hosting was awesome, and I encourage you to try it next year (I’m not just saying that!). I’m still talking to some of my ickle firsties now. 🙂 As for the T-shirt, it would be excellent if it wasn’t two sizes too big for me. 😀

  5. The idea of the Socialist Alternative club and the Liberal club being next to one another really, really amuses me. 🙂

    Replying to your comment to my post, yes, Science, Philosophy and History is part of the History and Philosophy of Science Department. Really creative subject name, as you can see. I’ll definitely keep you updated on the subject. And I am planning to major in Cinema Studies, because as you said, the second and third year subjects look absolutely awesome. A whole subject just on film noir? 🙂

    Zoë with a dieresis proclaims “I am?” I am Zoë, I am so sick of explaining “what the little dots means”, and I am pleasantly surprised you actually knew what they were called. Bravo to you.

  6. I heard you joined the PIS too. I am really happy….that makes a total of 4 bloggers apart from myself who are members!!! [Great minds think alike or so they say].

    Anyhow…I am sorry your host experience was a bit disappointing, along with your faculty welcome.

    It sounds like perhaps it was more of a thing that you just didn’t find anyone in the group who took your interest…?

    I was not too fond of my Host back in 2006 who I thought was really boring but I did meet three friendly people in my group. I lost contact with one but I am still on friendly terms with the other two; however we didn’t become close friends.

    I think the Host group is a good thing because it provides scope to meet people on a less confronting scale….but it really is very dependent on who is within your group.

    If you see me at the PIS meetings, please shout out. I am the Social Secretary who inevitable cannot resist making a comment on every topic… 🙂

    I hope you enjoy Commerce more than the Faculty Welcome.

  7. Sophie:

    Aha, now I know who are (I think). We’ve met briefly already; I think I asked you whether you were a first-year too, or something equally inane…

    I’m glad to have found out about the PIS — it didn’t catch my attention during O-week (after walking past “Socialist Alternative”, “The Liberal Club”, “The Labor Club”, and “Greens on Campus”, one gets a little wary of political societies), but I heard about it from another first-year at the Debating Society. I find the level of discussion at the meetings varies greatly depending on who’s speaking, but I find most of it very interesting. Regardless of that, the Waleed Aly function in the first week was so brilliant that I think I’m hooked on the Society anyway.

    Your assessment of my host group experience is probably accurate: I guess I have an aversion to making friends in situations that are so obviously engineered as a way for us to “make friends”. (Lectures with “now, introduce yourself to the people next to you and have a quick chat about what we’ve just learned”, ugh.) It all seems a little unnecessary to me: almost everyone is in the same situation — there aren’t a lot of people who have a coterie of people they already know in all their lectures.

    Zoë:

    Mm, yes, it was things like an entire subject on film noir (or on Bollywood films!) that sounded wonderful.

    I have to admit that I used to be a little skeptical about the necessity of the diaeresis in the name Zoë, but a Zoe who spells her name without told me last year that she’s actually been called “Zoh” (i.e., “Zoe” with the “oe” pronounced as a diphthong) by some people — teachers, even. The mind boggles…

    —Michael

  8. Hey Michael….did I chat to you on the first week of semester when we had the wrong room booked and had to go to the Systems gardens?

    If not…I’m glad you think you know who I am. I said to Georgie that I will be wearing a gold heart locket necklace as my identifier next week so hope that helps!!

    In regards to making friends, I am sure you will inevitably meet people in more natural circumstances. In my personal experience, most of the people I met who became good friends I met outside the typical places like lectures/tutes…either through social activities or random coincidences.

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