Number 8 – Feeling Dumb (Georgie)
Here’s the problem with Melbourne Uni. Not to sound conceited or anything, but at high school I was one of the smart ones. So if I thought someone’s comments were rubbish in class I could just discount them and be like ‘they don’t know what they’re talking about’. I was also the queen of essay writing. But now, at uni, everyone’s smart. Everyone in arts got a decent mark and has a good head on their shoulders. So now when I find someone annoying, I can’t just be like ‘Oh well, they’re wrong’, I have to actually listen to them. And there’s this really annoying english guy in my USA Today tute and whenever he speaks I just want to stuff a sock in his mouth to stop the pain. But I have to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, he has a point.
Well, I didn’t succeed in not sounding conceited.
And now, half the time I just feel dumb and that my education has got me nowhere and everyone knows ten times more than me about everything. Particularly in USA Today. So this is my plan for next week. I’m going to do all the essential reading for the tute, and then my own stuff and become an expert on ‘The Rise of Conservatism’ (our topic for next week) and then I’ll actually be able to make a point. Good, huh?!
Johanna, you’ve convinced me, I’m going to do literary classics next year. Hopefully it will make up for the terribleness that is modern lit.
I started and finished my essay for USA today on Sunday (it was due on Monday). I went into the Baillieu at 11:30 and powered through till 5:00. I only went to the toilet like once and I didn’t stop to eat. Result? A way less than perfect essay with only four books used when the recommended minimum was five, but a good Sunday night, knowing that I’d finished it. So it’ll be interesting to see what mark I get on it.
Oh, and I racked up a $21 fine at the library for borrowing books on Tuesday and then not giving them in until Sunday. I’m thinking that I’ll just postpone borrowing for a while until I have enough spare cash to throw away. Tip: don’t borrow overnight loans unless you actually have the intention of returning them the next day.
At the moment I’m feeling a tad poor. I bought about 20 books from work on the weekend because everything was 50% off, I think that’ll be it for a while.
Listening to the Scrubs album at the mo’, good music, had anyone heard it?
That’s all from me now,
Georgie
*dances* Great about Lit Classics! It really has redeemed my feelings about english literary studies at the university.
But on the whole issues of intelligence, I felt the same way and still do. It was a very difficult thing for me to go from getting top marks in my year level to finding that I was usually scraping for H2s and the highest mark I managed last year was an 81. I still feel intimidated in class when people deliberately use complicated terms and really try to sound intelligent.
But my Mum told me that one of the things her lecturers praised her for was the clarity of her expression – she expressed herself well with one, correct word rather than several just off-the-mark words. Unfortunately not every lecturer takes that approach, but I have always endeavoured to write in a clear, uncontrived way.
Arts is a weird faculty, especially with the whole Melbourne Model thing coming into play. A lot of people do Arts because they don’t know what they want to do, but there are also people who do Arts because they genuinely enjoy the subject areas offered. With Arts being downsized so it will function as a sort of ‘stepping stone’ into the soon to be post-grad areas, I guess I’m worried that it will become saturated with people who honestly would rather be doing law or whatever.
Erk, not making sense tonight.
Oh, and don’t borrow overnight loans because it makes me angry! Grrrr! I hate going to the library looking for overnight books that I need and finding out that, despite the fact they were due back days ago, they’re not there! Grrr! I shake my finger at you and everybody else!
Don’t worry about it. I went through the same thing when I changed schools in year 9. It really affected my confidence because I was always thinking ‘oh why bother trying, someone else will be better than me’. In reality, there will always be someone ahead and sometimes it is a crap feeling. Having gone to a school full of high achievers, I always put smart people on a pedestal and wonder how they can be so smart. But slowy, I realised that these people were normal just like me and that their excellence in one area mean’t they were incompetent in another. At the end of the day, academic intelligence isn’t the only criteria for living in this world. That’s why I admire those who are not only smart but are also well rounded.
Yeah as David has said, don’t worry. I think just about everyone in my course feels that way. They were like the creme de la creme at all their schools, and now they’re lumped together in one course where it’s like “oh no, I’m not the only semi intelligent person around, there’s like 200 of us!”