Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fuuurrrr! (Silvia)

     The following content has nothing to do with the Big Bang Theory. It was the first thing that came into my head. By the way, it’s rated MA+ for mature audiences. No joke.

     Wednesday physics is the highlight of my week. Having Jack and Bez there is psychotic and that’s how I survive the monotony of physics. But there was only Jack Sparrow today and it only got interesting towards the end of class when our class rep surveyed us about the quality of the lectures.
     “Who feels prepared for the upcoming test?” he reads off his pre-prepared paper. Hardly anyone raises their hands and titters sweep across the theatre.
     “Okay,” our rep grins, “how many of you are doing physics because you have to?” As far as I could tell, everybody raised their hand.
     “How many of you are doing physics as a breadth?” our rep asks. Two people raised their hands. The entire theatre turned toward them and gaped.
     “WHY?!” everyone demanded simultaneously in disbelief before dissolving into laughter. Why would those two would subject themselves to the torture of physics? It’s pure and utter nonsense. Force, acceleration, Newtons and so forth. Makes no sense now and never will.

     Jack’s history lecture was much more interesting. Yes, I crashed, I was having fun 😛 It was on Meso… uh, Memo… hang on, I’ll fetch the handout. Ah yes, it was Mesopotamian Gods. I had to ask Jack what the heck was Mesopotamian. He very patiently explained to me it was near Egypt. Well, I understood it was really far away. My geographical skills are sadly lacking.
     The lecturer was surprisingly enthusiastic about history. He enunciated his words and made dramatic gestures with his arms, drawing circles around his head when he talked of tiaras and threw his hands in front of him to signify the Mesopotamian’s magnificence.
     To be honest, I was zoning out quite bad. The only things that registered in my pitifully small mind were ‘Ziggurat’ because it sounded funny and ‘worshiped’ because it was spelt wrong.

     However, my attention was snapped up like a salmon by a bear when the lecturer spoke of the gods. It is honestly too funny for words, but I shall try my best.
     Anu wears a crown on his head and it’s either made of bull horns or a ding-a-ling. Yes, that god is probably wearing male genitalia on his head. Apparently it signifies virility and strength. As Jack delightfully remarked, Anu sure is “one horny guy”.
     Enki has a penchant for beer. He is the god of semen and has a string of incestuous affairs. Enki enjoys a good “horizontal CHA CHA CHA”, as the lecturer hilariously put it while slamming his palm on the table with every syllable.
     Pazuzu is a wind demon and has a canine face, four wings, bird’s legs, animal front paws and a snake head penis. Endearing, yes? I would have described him more, but alas I cannot type as fast as I read.
     Inanna is the goddess of fertility, sexual love and war. She has a cult which encourages sacred prostitution. Her holy city is Uruk, also known as ‘the town of the sacred courtesans’.

     Childish, I know, but it reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Knickers in what else but physics?
     “Hey,” Knickers whispered. “I’m going to the brothel.”
     I blinked owlishly and wondered if I’d heard right. “What?” I clarified.
     “The brothel!”
     I shook my head wildly, as though it would clear out my ears. “What?!”
     Knickers rolled her eyes and grabbed my pacer, scribbling on my lecture notes.

     BROTHEL.

     My eyes widened in horror and I stared at her, speechless.
     Knickers looked at me, bewildered, and asked, “Don’t you know what that is?”
     “I know it’s a whorehouse!” I yelped. She snorted and shook her head. “Are you a prostitute now?!” I wailed. I had known Knickers since I was six, she had always been independent and proud, smart and friendly. How could she have stooped so low?!
     She took my pacer again.

     BIOMED LIBRARY.

     “Ooooh,” I breathed in relief. “Why the heck is it called that?!”
     “Coz it’s pink on the inside,” Knickers whisper-answered. A hyena giggle escaped my mouth. It was true, it was like a disco there. It was pink and silver, black and metallic. I heard a student designed it. Poor designer, having their art likened to prostitution.

     That was what I learned this week. Mesopotamian gods are funny and the biomed library is also called the brothel. My parents must be so proud. I know I am 😉

     ~Silvia