It’s really hard to wake up when it’s pitch black outside. What do you think would be the best thing to wake you up on a bitterly cold and dreary Wednesday morning? You might say coffee, you might say a jog in the park… but I say a good fright is the way to go.
Why would that be? Ask Jobe, he’s the one that scared the absolute bejeebers out of me.
Standing outside the lecture theatre at eight in the morning and waiting for more friends to arrive, I was holding my laptop while talking to Ashane about Melbourne’s currently freezing weather conditions. Everyone was sluggish and lethargic and the stinging winds only made it worse.
Out of nowhere, Jobe loped over and asked, “Silvia, can I borrow your laptop?”
“Oh yeah, sure,” I said and handed it to him.
Jobe took it and immediately passed it onto Ashane, saying, “Can you hold that for a second?”
I became slightly confused. Um, like, why? Then Jobe bent down and I thought: oh, right, he’s tying his shoelaces, cool, no problem.
Then all of a sudden Jobe had me around the knees and I was flailing two metres up in the air. The floor was kilometres away and my eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
“Whaaa!” I screeched and clung onto Jobe’s neck for dear life. Did I mention Jobe is a giant? Much like Roald Dahl’s BFG, only a small child doesn’t fit in his ear.
Jobe jumped up and down and I bounced like potatoes rattling in an old, dirty sack. He looked at his friend and said, “You know, I think I actually could.”
Could what?! I thought frantically.
As though he had read my mind, Jobe continued, “I think I could toss her up though the roof.”
WHAT?!
“NO!” I shrieked and looked up at the roof in sheer terror. It was less than a metre above me. Jobe is really tall and to be honest, I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t try turning me into a human cannonball. I continued to wail, “NO, NO, NO!”
I think I blanked out for a second because someone said something and Jobe set me down. I slithered back to earth and almost keeled over backwards.
Needless to say, I was completely awake afterwards and no longer feeling inactive.
Besides being painfully dark and cold in winter, there’s another reason why I dislike it so much.
You know what’s a really good way to keep warm? Aside from pushing your dog in front of the heater and using her as a hot water bottle, you could also snuggle up in a blankie and drink hot chocolate. I love doing that. But you know, as it’s me…
Let me tell you, the worst feeling ever is watching an open tin of Milo dropping to the floor in slow motion. Enough said.
I have to go now. I have to launder my blankie and clean up the kitchen that is covered in sweet-smelling brown powder.