An Ode to Friendship (Kiryll)
“Hey! It’s been a long time! How is uni going? Sucks we are so far away now. Monash and Melbourne…
What are you doing on Friday? Oh okay, are they from Monash? Okay, no problem. We’ll catch up some other time, then. Have fun on Friday! “
It has been reported that many high-school friendships end at uni.
Many students go to different campuses, meet people who are more alike, who share more with each other. In the end, a long friendship withers and wilts and a new one blossoms atop the ruins of the last.
I hope and will try to always keep my closest friends, no matter the distance and schedules that may separate us. Sometimes I think friendships spring up through simple circumstances where two people end up in the same place consistently and distance can kill that. I had a best friend when I was younger, but when I caught a permanent inter-continental flight, it was pretty much over, pretty much right at the start. We grew to find new ways to enjoy the time, and new people to do it with.
At times, it doesn’t take much to be friends. All it takes is both people accepting each other and knowing a few personal things. Once two people do that, they can be more or less true to their genuine character, because one accepts the other for who that other person is. There’s no major holding back that’s symptomatic of strangers when they strike up a conversation.
That’s why it’s so easy to neglect old friends – a person can always open up and be accepted by another. And that someone might turn out to be in the same course, on the same campus – the things that make it easier. A friendship of convenience.
Have you ever had a friendship of convenience? Do you have a friend you don’t talk to or see anymore?
The friendships I would love to keep, not in the selective house-cleaning way of course, are those that extend from just acceptance and familiarity. The best-friends who know me through and through, but also have something that connects us, something more special than knowing each other’s personal profile. With university fast approaching, this will be tested.
Different timetables, new locations, new responsibilities : are all known killers of convenience-friendships. However, true mates will have other things that connect them, even when a handy shared location is stretched from a 20 minute tram ride to a 3 hour hike. It’s worthwhile not because the commuting is short, but for the friend at the other end of the journey when the commuting is done. And that connection will carry friends over the line to finish the life race as BFs 4 5evahhh. Or in more moderate terms than that.
Here’s a cyber toast to true friendship. May all of us keep old buddies and make some new ones, those who are not ‘convenient’, but just right.
PS How are you preparing for O-Week?
I’m using the same method as when I ‘studied’ for the GAT.
Kiryll
I had such friendship turmoil last year due to distance, but I also caught up with a friend on the weekend who I hadn’t seen for two and a half years and it was just as great as ever. It definitely takes two to tango and keep the friendship alive, but if the effort is put in, it can last.
Also this post is making me sad because I am moving away from all of friends (unless they’ve already moved away from me).
Yeah, this post made me sad, too… I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to move away from all your friends, Victoria. But however that cliche goes, I forget: sometimes the further away you are from someone, the more you miss them, and so fonder the heart grows towards that friendship, and the more you put into it. Even as a city girl, living a train/tram ride away most of my good friends, it’s sad to see the change, some of us going our separate ways – overseas, to different uni’s, different faculties…
But your writing, Kiryll is also really inspiring in a sense. Maybe part of this big university transition is also kind of about understanding friendships, like you say, testing them in the deeper waters (to use a lame analogy!) of real life away from high school. And when you do stay close, even if it takes a bit more work, it’s means the world
I don’t see many of my high school friends either, which upset me at first because I had been very close to them. But on the rare occasions we do meet, it’s like we were never apart at all! Conversation flows and nothing’s really changed.
But yes, it does take two to tango– keep a tight grasp on your friendship!