Problems with Parental Pressure (Johanna – Mia)
Be forewarned. This is shaping up to be a very emo post, straight from the laptop of a very pressured, frazzled student.
So. How do I deal with pressure? Answer is, not very well. And boy, the pressure is ON. Let’s see… There’s exams coming up in less than three weeks’ time, and I haven’t revised through most of my lectures. (Yes, I told you I’m one of the “professional” procrastinators. :)) But that’s not the worst. Pressure from exams, I can handle. It’s the pressure I’m currently getting from my mother that’s causing me to be as frazzled and on edge as a radioactive nucleon (Ha! A highfaluting physics term that I totally pretend to understand!)
I know she means well. I mean, which mother does not want her child to be the next Isaac Newton/ Mozart/ Renoir/ Churchill or whichever icon of whichever field of study? And yes, I know she only does these things because she cares and wants me to succeed, but come on! The constant “What have you done today? Have you studied at all?” questions, the whole “I expect you to do well this semester” expectations, it’s enough to drive me up the wall! And these “words of advice” come up every. single. day. It’s just… Ugh.
A week or two from now, I’m going to look back at this post and think “What am I saying? I can’t say these things about my own mother, for goodness sake!” and be extremely guilty about this. But right now, I just feel like ranting, and getting things off my chest. I know I may sound like an ingrate, but it’s just so hard when your own mother doesn’t have enough faith in you, that she needs to constantly check up on you to see what you’re doing and if you’re actually studying. (Okay, yes, I procrastinate; so the reminder’s probably a good thing, but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? No? Okay. Ignore this whole post, then. :))
Back to my rant. It’s like my mother expects so much from me, and I’m just too pressured into becoming who she wants me to be, and it’s so. very. difficult. Okay, that’s not entirely true – I chose this university and this degree by my own free will, but sometimes I feel as though all my choices are centered around her and her expectations of me. A bit unfair for me to say something like that to the woman who gave me life and all I have right now, but I won’t deny that I feel this way nonetheless.
So. There you have it. This is how I deal with pressure – by expressing myself in a completely irrelevant, unimportant and probably depressing post.
Well, then. Back to (er… start) studying! Exams are almost upon us. Brace yourselves. Seriously. Unless you’re one of the non-procrastinating kids, in which case, good on you, mate.