Still Undecided
Since my last post (which was my first ever) I have:
• been on a waterskiing camp
• been falling behind in study
• been wanting something that I will be unlikely to get because it is taken
Well uni is in full swing now and I am still not sure if I like it or not. There has been loads of homework, which is expected. But expecting it does not mean I can cope with it. Work comes in at a constant rate and leaves my desk at a slower rate, which means that I never get the awesome feeling of ‘a clean slate’. Assignments are not extremely difficult but are challenging enough to make me think twice about my answers. At the beginning of the year, I was actually looking forward to the academic challenges at uni. However, its about 5 weeks in and there’s nothing I want to do more than to escape the workload of uni and just spend lazy days and nights with friends. Speaking of friends, I barely get to see them at uni and the only social interaction I get to have in my day is the odd bump into acquaintances, short chats to people in my classes (short because uni classes are so much more intense than high school classes). I really want to get to know the people in my classes better but it seems like the fast and impersonal environment of uni does not allow me to do that. It just means I have to put more effort in trying to grow relationships outside of classes. And that requires effort, time and to an extent guts. The first move is always the hardest because I honestly don’t know what other people think of me. Fatigue has also played a big part. Late nights and early mornings mean that I turn up to class half asleep and not very inclined to talk as much as I usually do. This is frustrating as other people do not get to see the cheery side of me. Also, it’s been harder to meet more new people. During the first couple of weeks, there were plenty of new people to meet in my tutorials and at my extracurricular events, but now I see the same people every week.
Another thing bugging me lately is my impatience. Not impatience at public transport or impatience in a queue, but my impatience for experiences that will naturally in the future. I want things to happen and I want them to happen now. I want to get to know that person better, I want to live in college, I want to have great nights out, and I want to travel. There’s so much I want to do and some that I CAN do at the moment but I am NOT doing because either I DON’T have the guts or because I am not putting in the effort. It’s especially frustrating when my goal at the beginning of the year was to take more risks. I have always taken the safe path in my life and now I feel the need to live on the edge, maybe just a bit. Apologies if this whole paragraph does not make sense to you, but it’s more for me, so I can collect my thoughts.
I guess I just have to be a bit more aggressive in my approach to certain things in life. I have never been like that though, it’s just not me. But if I want to get what I want, maybe that’s the only option for me.
On a brighter note, I have discovered/used 9 different toilets at the university. Hopefully, by my next entry that number would have grown by a few since knowing where the closest toilet on campus makes uni life so much more pleasant.
I tend to keep up while things are easy in the first couple of weeks, then fall steadily behind (mostly due to the fact that I hate work and am very good at procrastinating) and end up cramming in the week before exams. That’s bad. Try not to do that. D:
It took me two years to find out there were toilets inside the Baillieu library. I’d been going to Ec&Comm if I needed to through first and second year, and only found out about the Baillieu toilets by a chance LJ posting.
Hi readers,
I am very interested in applying for college for next semester. At the moment I am considering Newman College and JCH. It would be great if anyone who goes to these colleges or any others to comment on what they like or dislike about their college (eg diversity, facilities).
Thanks!
JCH > every other college. That is all.
But in all seriousness, I like JCH because of the culture. It’s smaller so you know everyone, it’s less wild, with no pressure to drink or anything like that, and it has an artsy, intellectual leaning. What I don’t like is the fact that we don’t get a lot of the benefits of size – the larger colleges have more facilities and better sports teams because they have a bigger pool of students to draw from. On the other hand, the small size has benefits – it’s much easier to get involved in any activities you want, because you don’t have to compete with so many people for the lead in the college play, a spot in the rowing team, etc.
I think there’s at least four spaces next semester because we have three or four exchange students going back home and one person who transferred to a different university.
With the whole “take more risks” thing, you totally remind me of me view of first year.
It really is worth getting out of your comfort zone though. The opportunities start running at you when you do.
Sophie:
I realised I havent replied to your comment on my first post. Yes you are right, I am a mhs old boy. Was it that obvious? Unfortunately my accounting lecture clashes with the PIS meeting but I will be sure to not to let that happen next semester.
Wow, here I was feeling depressed about the fact that uni hasn’t turned out to be anything like I expected and then I read your post! You sound exactly how I feel, especially in regard to the social aspect of things.
I’m so used to the comfort of high school that uni scaring me. In a retarded way I prefer to hide in the corner and be a loner than putting myself out there and actually getting to know people, which is a very bad thing to prefer!!
As to the person who wants to go to college next semester: I envy you. I’m sure college would be the answer to all my problems; in college you’re forced to interact with people, as far as I know anyway…
Only problem is, you have to be a friggin millionaire to afford staying at a college. How unfair…*sobs*