Double Whammy (David)

It was a bloody windy day today.

Having spent most of my time at uni today indoors, I was kept ignorant of the chaos outside. Well I soon found out the hard way.

I got back from work just a few hours ago so I will keep this nice and short.

Basically – sudden downpour – torrential winds – wet arse – girls expressing their fear of rain in their typical ‘lets make sure everyone can hear us’ manner – trams become a rare commodity during peak hour – tiny doorways – human instinct – selfishness – kids to feed – bills to pay – pushin’ n shovin’ – sardines (I prefer mackerels) in oil – drenched hair/clothes/bags/every bloody thing – can’t raise hand to dry face – satchel defending genitals from sharp objects/bags/body parts – sudden halt by tram driver – dominos but none fell cos there was no space to fall into – utter chaos – expletives and unbearable high pitched screeches – 30min of fogged windows – dead fish smell from wool – parole granted as tram stops at MC.

It’s not everyday you are on a tram where everyone looks like a wet orangutan but despite all the discomfort, it was one of those moments where you turn to the stranger next to you and laugh and possibly make out with.

I had to get from uni to Melbourne Park for work

1 destination

2 trams

60 bloody minutes

I thought that was bad. When I arrived at work, I realised it was Celine Dion’s concert that night.

It got worse. Guess who was supporting her?

Anthony – effing – Callea*. I had to endure their ‘voices’ for 3 effing hours.

I mean seriously, forget lifesavers, I reckon I deserve a bravery medal for that.

Ok, this is my first blog for 2008 and its just been an embarrassing whinge. Not the ideal start I had planned, but as soon as I clear my ears and complete those essays, I will blog on more relevant stuff like the Melbourne Model, Farrago, etc.

It has been an unsatisfying year so far, but a mug of hot Milo has never tasted this good.

*Apologies to your mother who may actually appreciate the midget’s ‘art’