Decisions, decisions (Suzanne)

I am the type of person who cannot leave the house to go to a party without checking Google Maps five times to make sure I know every step of the way there. Sometimes Google Earth as well, so I know what the surrounding area looks like in case I get lost.

Needless to say, the fact that I have to choose my music specialisation at the end of this semester is therefore completely freaking me out. I don’t know what kids do under the new Melbourne Model structure, but under my old heritage degree system, you need an H1 in Prac 2-2 to major in performance, and I am told (though suspicious as to the accuracy of the statement) that you need to get an H1 in a music history subject to do musicology, my other top contender (which is fine because I got an H1 in 19th Century Music and Society last semester). Taking classes in one specialisation pretty much shuts out the possibility of taking classes in the other specialisation, especially for double degree students with no room for electives.

I am really in a quandary here. I could do musicology. That would be the most convenient solution: no pressure this semester because I’m already in, easier to balance with law because there’s some overlap of skill sets, more space for some electives that I really want to do, and generally a more laid-back specialisation. Or I could do performance. Which is what I’ve wanted to do since I was 14. But lately, I’ve really been questioning whether I want to do that. Performance would take up all of my remaining credits, so no ‘fun’ music subjects. The expectation is up to 6 hours a day of practise; I already have trouble trying to fit in 3 or 4. I’d finish much earlier on in my degree (via overloading to fit in performance credits each year), so I’d have to face a year of straight law at the end. And I need to get an H1 this semester, which is probably pretty manageable given my past record but I don’t like to feel that I have to get a certain mark because that just makes things not fun.

Additionally, it would cost more to do performance, because of the money I’d have to spend on accompanists, instrument upgrades, etc (music: the degree which not only has no career prospects, but also costs a buttload of money to study). I could do musicology and still take less intense clarinet-related subjects, I can’t take performance and take history-related subjects. On the other hand, if I do performance I can do musicology later, whereas if I do musicology, my performance skills will fall too far behind to catch up. On the third hand, because I am a three-armed freak, I’ll be 25 when I get out of this damn long degree, and another undergraduate degree would probably drive me insane, so I shouldn’t pick based on what I can do later. Also, I think I am really too lazy to do performance – I don’t rock up to orchestra rehearsals prepared, I don’t learn the piano part before I go to rehearsals with my accompanist, I don’t really bother with fundamentals like sightreading or scales outside of technique exam season. All of that will need to undergo a significant volte-face if I do do performance.

All-in-all, given that I’d be happy doing either, I should probably just flip a coin in November.