The Unofficial Guide To First Year (Jeremy)

“Actually”, said Mum, as we lounged out around the sofa sometime in February, “What I’m really looking foward to this year is seeing you work for the first time in two and a half years.”

“WHAT?” I yelled in response. Actually, my mouth was half-full of Vegemite Savoy at the time, so what I really said was “Mmnf?!!” whilst trying my hardest not to decorate the loungeroom with bits of salty biscuit. Swallow; try again. “I’m sorry Mother dear,” I said, putting on my sweetest butter-wouldn’t-melt voice. “What was that, please?

“You know exactly what I said, Jeremy!”. In a way, it was true. Although I hadn’t exactly been stagnant for the two years that I spent in educational hiatus since the end of 2003 (and oh what an old man I feel now amongst all those fresh-faced eighteen year old JAFFYs), having lived in China for eight months and worked for a fair bit around that, it was true that the word “study” had slipped out of my own vocabulary after really putting my nose to the grindstone in Year 12. The break had done me good; it had reinvigorated my desire to learn again. Working in a base-level job will do that to you.
So, it was with that aforementioned desire to learn again, my Met ticket in hand, and my incredible (and insatiable) ability to talk to anything with two legs that I set off to Melbourne Uni.

What’s been the changes that have struck my mind most over these last few months or so? The number one change that most people talk about of course, especially for those fresh out of Year 12, is that the teachers aren’t there to hold your hand anymore. (I don’t know what goes on in the rest of Victoria, but that was generally considered illegal at my school). In a way that’s really not true. Sure, you don’t do the work, nobody’s going to be on your back about it but you start to fall behind; to say that the teachers/professors aren’t there for you to the same degree is to undersell the work that they do, and that they are willing to do for their students.

The real difference that I have noted is that the amount of people you want to make time to catch up with triples at the very least and the amount of time that you have to see them – if you’re doing Uni the right way and getting involved – halves. Between study, work, and naturally parties the time you have to yourself drops right away from underneath your feet. Of course, not seeing them is a really good way to halve the amount of friends you have again and so that naturally solves its own problem.

The subjects have proven to be interesting and invigorating (and given that I chose them myself, they’d want to be). I would tell you what the Undergraduate Handbook said about them, but I didn’t read it. In fact, I think it’s still sitting somewhere on my desk, ready for me to unearth sometime in late 2008 when I next get around to organising my room.

Introduction to Programming 433-171 (Stone-Age Neanderthal Stream)

The Subject: Chock-a-block full of people like me who are doing the subject because they have to as part of Mechanical Engineering.

The Lecturer: Alistair. Alistair, Alistair, Alistair. Comes up with some pretty decent one-liners and some deliberately appalling self-abasing jokes which cause random students who happen to have medium-length hair, a penchant for guitar and a full-time loudmouth to throw pens at him. In all truth, he puts himself out on stage so that we remember exactly what he’s going on about and it works and I appreciate it.

Might I add as a little footnote that I sincerely hope that Lecturer A.Moffat has more than one item of each of the following at home:

Black and yellow CSSE cap

Beige pants

Polo shirt

Polarfleece jumper

as I would otherwise be very worried about the health of anybody who has sit within a few metres of him on public transport. Still, he must be the easiest person to shop for on birthdays.
620-121 Mathematics A (Suicidal Stream)

The Subject: Nine o-clock stream highly recommended for those who wish to experience every sort of coffee available on campus. This is the sort of maths subject where they tell you that your chance of passing your midyears is roughly equal to root negative one, and everyone who laughs gets to pass.
The Lecturer: Ah yes, Richard. How could you not like a lecturer who talks about Ancient Greek letters in an Australian/South African/British accent? Knows his subject, which is lucky, because at least it makes one of us.

Enjoy your weekend guys – mine’s looking pretty good so far –

jez.