don't be afraid to ask (Natty)

Wow. These past couple of days (actually weeks) have been like an emotional roller coaster for me. Living by myself finally lost it’s newness and appeal and things all went wrong. I got really lonely and miserable and I’ve let myself get behind with my work and all sorts of random little things which need doing.

My mum obviously realised I wasn’t myself and we talked about everything and decided I should think about moving into college. Part of me does living by myself and I’m good at being independent but I’m just too isolated and I get lonely quickly. So it was a tearful Natty who turned up at the Trinity college (I was offered a place there last year and turned it down) reception today to talk to the advisers there about my options. I’d told myself the whole way there ‘I won’t cry, I won’t cry’ and then of course I got there, felt overwhelmed and got all pathetic.

Still, the happy ending to the story is that the lovely people there were very very supportive and explained what I could do about moving to Trinity next term. I feel really relieved and I think the sense of community there will be what I need. I will miss my little apartment and cooking for myself but being so alone has meant that my work has suffered and I’m not very happy so college is defo the right move 🙂 So now I just need to take control of what has gone wrong and try and get my work back on track.

I have learnt a big lesson about asking for help BEFORE things get overwhelming. I’m so used to just being smiley and having a ‘there’s nothing I can’t manage’ attitude that I’m not very good at saying when things aren’t ok. I guess stuff seems scary when you don’t want to admit to yourself that you aren’t managing 100% but I was amazed at how lovely and kind everyone was once I actually did ask for help.

I am so relieved!! I know I’ve already said that a couple of times but I AM SO RELIEVED. My message to everyone, even though I know people say it all the time, is DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!

Haha, that’s enough from me now. I’ve got just 4 weeks of term left, exams and then I’m seeing my family and THEN (fingers crossed) I’m moving. I can totally do that. I’m just going to work really hard and hopefully my grades won’t have gone to far off track.

If anyone else is struggling, talk someone! Or talk to me and we can talk to someone together 🙂

Love Natty x x