It's not my fault… I don't think (Silvia)

Job-hunting is going swellingly!

Not really, I think it goes how job-hunting usually goes. Quiet and desperate, kind of like a little starved mouse zooming about in a maze and trying to sniff out the cheese in the middle. So far, it hasn’t been a huge success and after celebrating another day in our beloved city (a farewell outing to say good-bye to a good friend who is moving away… in the future, we will be calling her Dr Jupinder and she’ll be one of the most prestigious doctors around), I only have a sad little five dollar note left in my wallet. Look at it. The old lady on the five dollar note smiles mockingly at me.
“Nya, nya, nya, nya-nya!” she sings. “You don’t have a jo-ob! No more money no-ow!”
I wish I could make her 3D and throttle that self-satisfied smile off her face.
And just to clarify, I don’t have a violent disposition. I swear.

So I took a commenter’s advice and used The University of Melbourne’s Careers Online site. My, oh my, so many choices. Yes, there really is. If you’re on the lookout for a job, I highly recommend it. Of course, it’s only available if you’re registered to the university. Sorry for the discrimination, but it’s not my rules.
I vaguely remember having to click a few buttons and make some selections. So either I’m remembering wrong, my computer stuffed up when I finalised everything or the uni has wrong details. Because, uh, my details are one of the biggest fails I have ever seen.

I have no country of origin. It’s blank.
I have no country of residence. It’s blank.
I don’t have an ethnicity. It’s blank.
Apparently, I have no gender either. It’s blank.
My birthdate changes everyday. When I checked it on the 13th of Feb, I was born on the 13-Feb-2011. And as I stare at it now, my birthdate is 18-Feb-2011. Hmm. I must grow fast both physically and intellectually- a mad scientist’s dream. *Don’t you dare shoot me with a tranquiliser gun and conduct experiments on me to determine the nature of my supreme DNA!*

I can’t change the details either, seeing as it states very clearly on the top of the page: “Your details are provided by your institution and cannot be updated through Careers Online.”
I sincerely hope those details aren’t visible to employers. How embarrassing would it be if they saw that? Worse still, they could assume I’m a liar or a fraud and refuse to hire me.
The ‘help’ button isn’t helping. There’s no ‘contact us’ for this site. I get more irritated the more I realise I cannot fix this.

I shall continue to slam my mouse on the desk and rage in a seething silence.

~Silvia
A quick thought: reading my past posts, I think I came across quite sardonic. Has anyone else picked this up? I swear I’m not usually so condescending… most of the time 😉