Boys and bras (Silvia)

     I keep seeing this guy. I don’t know who he is, I don’t know anything about him. But I see him everywhere… it’s weird. When you have premonitions, it’s wise to keep it to yourself. History and crappy thriller movies have taught me as much. But I failed to take this on and told Bez. She’d managed to stay calm about my visions but did that last? Noooooo. 

     Physics again with Jack Sparrow and Bez. We were having a conversation about something trivial. It may have concerned underwear, but I’ll get to that later.
     My eyes drifted and suddenly went wide like supersized dinner plates. I walloped Bez’s forearm and made frantic half-pointing-half-jerking motions with my hands. The guy I kept seeing was sitting right in front of me! Fate is scary, though it could be karma at work.
     Jack looked at us, completely bewildered and Bez explained, “She sees him everywhere.”
     “Ooooh.” Jack’s eyes glinted and a shudder rippled down my torso. “Go introduce yourself.”
     “What? No!”
     That guy was the guy I kept seeing around and that was the way I wanted to keep it- all mysterious and creepy so that I’d have something disturbing to tell my grandchildren when I’m eighty.
     A nasty grin lit up Jack’s face and he leaned over the desk.
     Crap! I thought.
     “Hey, man!” he called.
     “No, no, no!” I yelped, leaning over Bez and whacking him with what I thought was the strength of a gorilla on protein shakes. But seeing as Jack didn’t so much as shy, I think I was really hitting him like a little girl.
     “Yeah, no,” Bez added, “you’re gunna make her cry.”
     Now that just hurt. I would not have cried. I have yet to discover and develop my inner feelings, if I have any at all.
     “Huhh…” Jack Sparrow mused. “I really wanna introduce you two.”
     Thank god the guy was too busy talking to his friends.
     “Hell no,” I muttered under my breath. I really did not need that. Just the thought of going up to a stranger and initiating conversation made me sweat with horror. I honestly thought that might have been the end of that. But as it was me… of course it wasn’t. Everything in my life goes ten notches worse. 

     I think we were giggling about ‘How I Met Your Mother’, I don’t have a photographic memory of our conversation, but all of a sudden, I watch in horror as Bez leans over and pokes the guy I see everywhere with her pen. I only had time to mentally utter one quick prayer- oh dear god, no- before he turned around.
     “Hi,” Bez said brightly, “what’s your name?”
     “Umm…” he said, looking warily at her as though she was some kind of too-friendly freak. And who could blame him? Something so random and unwanted, it would probably come back to bite him in the butt. Reluctantly, he answered, “Daniel.”
     “Hi,” I butted in, before Bez could say anything concerning me, “I’m Silvia.”
     “Yeah, she’s Silvia,” Bez nodded, then added unnecessarily, “she sees you everywhere.”
     Oh %^%^&*56%6%&**%#%^@^&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could feel my gut shrivel like a dried prune.
     “Um… yeah,” I said weakly and avoiding eye contact, not knowing how to explain that without sounding like a psychopathic stalker.
     Daniel looked at me with something mirroring disgust and turned back to his friends.
     Oh hell, I thought, awkward.
     Well, at least Jack and Bez had a good laugh at my expense- I don’t think I’ll be able to look at the guy again.

     We also had a good laugh at another girl. Bez and I didn’t even notice anything till Jack pointed it out. We craned our necks and spotted a girl with a bright red bra spilling out of her shirt. Her girls may as well have waved at us and said, “LOOK AT THIS, YA JEALOUS?”
     We could not stop snorting. Our shoulders were shaking and our faces had gone fire-hydrant red.
     “Pervert!” I accused Jack.
     He was very interested in the girl- he wanted to know if she was doing it on purpose. When Jack asked that, he had a very innocent and naive expression on his face that belied his true nature. I don’t think Jack could stop looking at the girl’s bra because he rested his head on the table and came up with more lovely phrases about her.
     “Stop looking at her boobs!” Bez said in exasperation.
     “How can I?” Jack demanded. “I’m resting and it’s in my line of vision!”
     Then we had an enlightening discussion about girls perving on girls.
     “Oh,” Jack said in disappointment. “She put a jumper on.”
     Craning our necks again, we saw that she now sported a lovely navy jumper.
     Probably, I thought, because she could feel Jack’s eyes burning two holes in her sexy, saucy and seductive bra. 

     Those two are a detriment to my health, so why do I enjoy hanging out with them so much?

     ~Silvia