Mental Lows, Spontaneous Epiphanies, and Other Snippets of the Week…(Lara)

Perhaps over the past week or so i’ve had the chance to think things over…but i’m not sure if i’m content with all of the thoughts rushing through my mind at present.

I think i can accept what has happened, but then suddenly i just feel like i KNOW it’s not right. But i have to accept it, i guess that hurts a lot.

I really don’t want to sound like i’m having an all out emo rant…but i really do not know what to do.

What have i been up to lately? Well… i missed 4 or 5 days of uni…so that amounts to a lot of catching up and running around sorting out several special consideration forms.. Last thursday i went to Healsville wildlife sanctuary for an AIS field trip. That was interesting, yet it really saddens me that even the things that i’m most passionate about in life suddenly can’t distract my mind from those that i’m not so fond of. Although i must admit a rather funny thing happened at the bird show; there was 2 wild wedged-tailed eagles circling the park proclaiming their territory or something, and the bird that was on show at the same time flipped out and flew away, so they had to cancel the show until “Mr. Brown” came back! haha. Fortunately all was well and Mr. Brown decided to make a reappearance which had us able to see another huge bird up close which threw a rock at a fake emu egg to crack it open.

That Thursday night was also the college ball. I went with my….ex-boyfriend…which made me happy that he was there…but it really was a night full of mixed up emotions. I spent the rest of the week and weekend back at uni and with my parents, as my dad drove down for 2 nights with my puppy to see me too. At least my parents will always care and show their unconditional love!. I stayed at the apartment on bridge rd with them which my mum had been in for a week already. On friday night my mum took me to Dracula’s cabaret theatre restaurant, which was awesome in itself, and i will go back one day to try and enjoy it more.

On sunday my dad and Floyd (dog) left for sydney, and that night i went to a restaurant on lygon st with my mum for dinner, which was full of crazy ferrari fans. After that we caught a taxi back to my college where i said bye to my mum as she caught the train to wodonga till friday to stay with my grandma who just got let out of hospital after spending 4 months there and having 4 toes amputated. On friday she’ll come back here for the weekend before she flies back to sydney on monday.

Suprising for myself, despite all of the things that are happening, the marks i’ve been getting back have stayed fair. i’ve got 9.5/10 for 2 of my 3 chem pracs, and 9/10 for the other one…which makes me happy in a way cause i was never too good at chemistry in year 12. Also in my maths tute today my lecturer seemed to be pretty confident in me, saying how she thought i could try and top last year’s top mark of 97% or something…that’s a high expectation but i guess it gives you a little bit of a boost knowing someone has faith in you.

So on monday night i went with nick to his sister’s musical, we were originally going because it was our 4 month anniversary or whatever, another night of harshly blended emotions. When he dropped me back here we both decided that we’d have a break from each other for a bit and “have fun with all our other friends and other stuff in our lives” so that we can go back to being the same sort of friends we were before anything happened. Easier said than done….well for me anyway.

yeah and basically apart from all that i’ve been trying to catch up with myself. i’m going to sydney next thursday..which i cant wait for cause i’ll be able to make a decision about what i want to do and look properly at the options i have.

well hall is calling and i dont feel like being late and sitting on high table.

ciao.