Free time at Uni? [Daniel]

No, not really. I kid, I kid. In actual fact I’m procrastinating (as all should do once in a while) from doing philosophy readings (Huzzah!).

Yet my procrastination, while certainly distracting me from doing said readings, has uncovered a surprise! Job searching (as the unemployed are prone to do), a brief 10 minutes ago, I was surprised to find that there was yet again tutoring work nearby. I could scarcely believe my luck, another tutoring job in my neck of the woods, preposterous! ….. turns out unfortunately that said job was preposterous…. it was from my previous tutor haggle nemesis, that only arranged for 2 tutoring lessons! And get this! She put up the price per hour up to 22 dollars an hour! So now all my haggling will go to the next tutor/tutess, while I measly me am still unemployed.

So while certainly humorous in a black way, I find myself suddenly quite annoyed at the world, or to be more exact at employment. For job application after job application I have sent into the workforce, all I seem to be receiving from the overfed resume beast is little paper dribbles out from the side of its mouth that proudly, and yet so unfortunate to me, say that I will not be receiving employment.

Me thinks I have a fatal character fault that will always lead me astray in job applications….. that or there’s a conspiracy against me. In any case I’ll still be chugging out applications left, right and center hoping that eventually they’ll jump into somebody important’s hands and get me a job. That or continuous unemployment for the rest of my life *cue melodramatics*

Shrug* Que sera sera, something will happen, besides it’s not like I’m wasting all my time searching for jobs……….. I’m doing university study, doing the housework (damn lazy goodfornothing sisters leaving me 3 nights worth of pots to clean), running, radio, this, that and the other.

Yet without the security of finance, oh so impressive payslips, an increasing bank account I feel myself looking less and less sufficient. It’s not like I get handouts for anything (I already tried, and failed), or leech off my parents (actively refusing money is kind of hard from them), or refuse work (points to scavenger Esq. frenzy of job applications), it’s just….. I dunno dehabilitating to be perfectly capable of things and still not be employed. I have work history, I have experience, and I have charisma…. just not luck. Haroom!

Perhaps I should start handing myself out arbitrary pieces of paper for each  “hour of work,” I do to start feeling more capable? Truth be told I don’t really need that much more on my plate (as I have enough to do already), yet I want to escape this feeling of inadequacy.

Getting a job probably won’t help fix that feeling anyways. As happiness comes from within, and all that jazz. At least I have radio which is always impressive/fun to do on Thursdays. There’s really no need to be so hard on myself…. then again there’s that damned feeling.

Anyways, that’s enough from me for now, as too much mulling makes for really sour wine… or some sort of analogy. More cheerfulness to come! (I’m leading you on in eager anticipation for the next post… really!)
Jyane,

Dan