A calling [Daniel]
There’s a certain period of time where things start to nip and jab at your subconscious, whether it be about the way a certain girl [or guy, I can be open minded…. not in that way though …..] looks at you, the words in a job advertisement coincide with the smile on your face, or when you choose to go out instead of staying indoors. There’s a jab of decision which moves you towards a choice mercilessly and unshakingly, there’s no deliberation – it doesn’t give a damn about anything but that one choice you have to make.
It’s with this in mind that I’ve done Japanese through high school and university, that I’ve put down my name for a flight for Europe in June, that I choose to move out of home, that I keep doing this Arts course that for many seem just like “holiday subjects” (said when getting my new student card). And sure all of these things may be wrong for some or completely crazy (trust me I’ve questioned my choice in a lot of things – I’m paranoid like that) but for me they seem to be the right answer to what my life should be.
Now from this preamble, I give you the explanation as to why, after I failed Japanese, I didn’t feel too upset at myself. I had no choice in the matter of whether or not to do it, and I did indeed study hard for the exam, but in the end it didn’t matter and I failed the subject. *Cue tears/violin/sob story for the poor Arts student*
Or, actually, don’t. Hold off on that for a bit, and think instead of what’s the problem with failing a subject? Especially one that I put a lot of effort into. Sure it’s annoying, but considering that the subject was hard there’s no reason for shame – I’ve never been excellent at Japanese, but always considered it as something that I should do (a multi-lingual world is good in my book).
So yes I want to finish Japanese, no I don’t mind that I have to do an extra subject next semester, the result last year about Japanese wasn’t as important as the effort I put in.
For now the calling is to finish university learning as much as I can.
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Other things that are important:
- apply early for exchange (start of second year/end of first year), the university takes a while to process thins (I learnt this the hard-not-going-overseas way)
- do internships if possible friends of mine are flying all over the world due to their applications for all things interesting.
- apply for everything, leave no stone unturned.
- and talk to people, you’ll get a better deal if you do. <-Especially with flights.
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I sometimes feel that my friends are moving on too fast,
For Programmer Europe, lawyer France,
To Melbourne Victoria, McMillan a publishing giant,
but for me
poor little Daniel
There’s the pitter patter of tiny keyprints barely heard above the roar of the internet.
Okay so not much really of a poem, or song, or whatever you may call the words above this paragraph, but straight to the point – I have friends climbing mountains of industry in single leaps, whereas I am unsure, or even better said, content in the place that I sit.
I do things but knowing me it’ll never be enough. To get around it sometimes I ask “Am I happy with what I’m currently doing?” If it’s a yes then there’s no reason to complain – and all is right in the world once more.
Anyway that’s enough blabber for the time being, now it’s back to typing stories for myself with a background of jazz, a cappuccino and a head full of dreams.
Jyane,
Daniel/Yoddeuss