A view from the streets (Kiryll)

After a hiatus that saw me suspended from action and breaching every code of blogger practice, I have returned. One test done, one essay submitted to the black hole of Turnitin. Uni is certainly here to stay and its routine has ossified. From that, I decided to bypass the academic chronicles and spoke to my good friend Perez Shilton, chief-of-spin for Gossip Melbourne Glossy Mag! What have you been noticing from the streets that has annoyed you, irked you, just caught your eye? Send these in to the mag’s post box and hopefully see YOUR complaint aired amidst the pages, maybe even in a segment in Today Tonight!

A recent gMelb (Gossip Melbourne) investigation revealed that Melbourne University is the second most demanding place for walking. Only an ice rink recorded worse. To confirm the findings, Perez subjected himself to an experiment, crowned the Straight Line Test. The method involves a participant, equipped with protective gear, being offloaded via helicopter on Monash Road. They then attempt to walk in a straight line without getting pushed, shoved, bumped or punched. The experiment was altered in numerous ways, one of which saw Mr Shilton wearing glasses and carrying a thick book under one arm, pencil clutched in the other. A look of learning. This glasses-and-book condition I am well aware of my self, and it yields some classic psychological treats. For one, it seems people are less likely to concede ground upon recognising that someone walking in their direction has a look of “docility” they can exploit. The ‘sheep’, if deciding to continue the course without budging, will get a bit of haughty shoulder contact. However, if that same walk-rage ‘prey’ sheds the suspenders, encyclopaedias tucked under armpits, and rounded spectacles, to replace them with black  scythe shirt, tracksuits, gold skull chains and a knuckleduster: their straight line walking trajectory is flawless. This crucial research can help those students running late decide which clothes they must wear to the have the most efficient outcome.

On to other news, gMelb reports that 59% of Melbourne students actually prefer to study somewhere outside the vicinity of their campus. Émigré hot spots include the Games Room of the State Library of Victoria, own homes, local establishments like Hungry Jack’s and Nandos, and the biggest draw card – RMIT! Yes, some Melbourne Uni students have confidentially expressed their love affair with RMIT’s towering architecture, home to modern and archaic treats, like an old gaol! Fancy being lectured behind bars! Apart from the  59% of dissidents,  only 7% of the 41% of campus faithfuls could actually find a place to study! There has also been an increasing trend of students migrating to the Law Building and the Spot for study space, irrespective of their chosen courses, making Grattan Street a chasm between the old and the new, a generational study-space warfare.

Wrapping up for today, we leave you with this handy quote that can help with writing an essay on the importance of critical thinking, uni reason, etc:
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in your fruit salad”. (MLA reference).

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