"I was sick over the weekend, had that scratchy feeling in the back of my throat. You know? But it's better now."
As my boyfriend was telling me this, I suddenly noticed a scratchy feeling in the back of my throat. I chose to ignore it, except to drink some tea in the hope that the feeling would pass. I could not afford to get sick! Sure, it was only the second week of uni, but already the physics lecturer had chewed through two and a half chapters of the text book (and by no means small petty chapters like the ones from last semester explaining how to round off numbers) and the maths teacher had told us that we would be "utterly destroyed" if we did not study for three consecutive days. Already there were lecture notes that I needed to, but hadn't looked over, tutorial sheets that I hadn't attempted, chapters I hadn't read, readings I hadn't printed out... I could not afford to be sick!
By the evening my throat was dying a small but dramatic death, and the outlook was bleak.
I did not like the idea of taking a day off uni. For one, I had only missed lectures because of timetable clashes, and the idea of all the effort of chasing up all the information or, heaven-forbid, not getting around to looking at the information at all was just too scary. And secondly, I had a physics lab which I didn't have any free spaces in which to do a makeup, as horrible as spending three hours in a laboratory seems to a sick student.
And so I went to uni on Wednesday. And it was not a nice experience.
The next day had more lectures, and even one that finished at six-fifteen. I was contemplating the horribleness of this prospect when my father suggested, "maybe you should take a day off tomorrow."
I don't know what I was thinking the first night, but suddenly it seemed that simple. I would take a day off. I would spend it sleeping, and catching up on all the work that was weighing me down and amplifying my stress-levels, and I would get up the next day and everything would be calm and well. I sent a text to a couple of friends telling them to collect handouts and notify me of important announcements. And then I sat there staring at my phone... was that all I needed to do in order to plan a day at home? How ridiculously simple!
And so I spend the day alternating between sleep and study. One activity relieved the boredom and the other relieved the exhaustion caused by an active immune system. I even found time to clean my room, which made me feel much more in control of my life.
In retrospect, getting sick was almost a blessing in disguise. I mean, if I was going to run myself into the ground in week two, how did I plan to survive the whole semester?! Now if only that horrible sniffly-ness you get left with for months after being sick would go away now...
I don't know if my posting is really relevant at all, seeing as I won't be returning to Melbourne Uni this semester, but it's ten in the morning, I haven't slept yet, and I feel a strange, compelling urge to update.
I need to defer, actually. I think I have to go in person to do so, as failing every single unit meant that I received some 'sanctions', or something like that. I guess I really should go and rectify that. Soon. I guess.
Life in Melbourne is very hectic. I'm now working two jobs, one as an exotic dancer- (dropping out of university and becoming a stripper? Check. My mother is so proud.) and also as a seduction coach, for a company called The Natural Lifestyles. Basically, I teach men how to pick up women. It's a pretty sweet deal.
It's really bizarre going on Facebook and seeing people's statuses popping up with things relating to uni; buying textbooks, skipping lectures, etcetera. It feels like this strange, distant world which I barely can recall being a part of. I kinda miss spending afternoons wasting time at the Alice Hoy, using the free internet. I'm not sure if I'll go back for a few years, now. It seems like something which you really have to put the majority of your time and mental energy into, and I've got far too much wine drinking to do and trouble to cause before it comes to that.
I guess this is a farewell post. Maybe i'll check in some time later on in the year. I feel like I'm being particularly frank in this post. Perhaps it has something to do with the lack of sleep. I'm not sure. Best luck to all of you with this semester.
-Katie out.
ACT ONE: Laura’s Bedroom
Second Semester: Hi
Laura: Who the hell are you? And why are you in my bed? At 9am? Get the hell out!
Second Semester (chirpily): I’m Second Semester, the younger brother of First Semester. I’m here to make all your wildest dreams come true.
Laura (turns blaring alarm off): Well, you’re shitting me. Go away.
(SECOND SEMESTER throws off the cover and begins bouncing on the bed)
SS (excitedly): Come on! Come on! Come on! Time for a Short Fiction lecture!!!!!
(LAURA groans and rolls over.)
SS: Oh Laaaauuurrraa.....Uni calls.
L: Piss off. I’m not getting out of bed.
SS: Why?
L: Computer says no.
SS: You’ll fail if you don’t go to lectures...I also see that you haven’t bought your readers or textbooks or stationery. You need to be M.O.T.I.V.A.T.E.D, or you’ll fail at life and DIE!
L: Yep. Whatever. Look, I am not caffeinated, and in the last week I have had less than six hours of sleep a night. The last thing I need is an annoying little Second Semester bouncing on my bed. I’m not going to the lecture. I’ll go to Uni at 12 OK. Now get the hell out of my room.
(SECOND SEMESTER leaves the room forlornly. LAURA sighs and falls back to sleep.)
BLACKOUT
ACT TWO: The Spot, Basement Theatre
(LAURA sits with SECOND SEMESTER and close friends CRISTINA and ASHLEIGH in a lecture theatre that looks like a spaceship and a fridge’s lovechild. The CULTURE, MEDIA AND EVERDAY LIFE LECTURER stands up the front, rabbiting on about admin and assessment and stuff.)
SS: Isn’t this interesting?
L: No.
SS: It is a bit.
L: No. It really isn’t.
(LAURA opens her singing textbook and begins reading.)
SS: Um...excuse me...but this isn’t a singing lesson in case you haven’t noticed.
L: Whatever. You take notes then.
SS: You don’t have paper or a pen. You’re UNORGANISED!!!!
L: Hey. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t want to be here. And I’m finding this lecture, and academic learning, and the content a complete wank. So how about you shut up and let me read about something I actually enjoy.
BLACKOUT
ACT THREE: An Ominous Place
LIGHTS UP on LAURA doing an interpretive dance that depicts her skipping the second Culture, Media and Everyday Life lecture, taking no notes, doing no readings and instead singing at every spare moment, studying to become a singing teacher, and staying at Uni for the Centrelink/Scholarship money and because she’s not yet qualified to work full-time in a job she enjoys.
Until next time I remain, humbly yours,
Laura
PS: Since writing this, which I did last week, things have gotten better. I have a few good subjects, am somewhat enjoying Uni, and am in a better place than last week, when the last thing I wanted on this earth was to be at a University. So all is well, I have direction and I’m going to bludge my way through the subject, focus on singing, acting and dancing, and have a good time!
PPS: I got into a play! Uni is good, after all.
PPPS: Hope you are all going well. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.
Well, second semester is well underway, and how very different it is from the first one!
It's all in how you approach it, I think. This time six months ago, all I knew in Melbourne was uni, and college, and things revolving around academia. Thus I did huge amounts of the set reading, attended every class, and was basically pretty assiduous. How things change! I've now sort of woken up to life in this city and it's incredibly hard to force myself to sit down and work.
Or, y'know, go to lectures.
Please, don't start fretting that I'm becoming a potential dropout; I'm really enjoying this semester, and my subjects are really interesting (from what I can gauge by my sporadic presence in lectures)- just not quite as interesting as the joys that Melbourne has to offer, plus I have a job and friends and all sorts on inconveniently extra-curricular scenes going on. I'm just not really a great example to any potential students, I guess. I think this is probably a fairly normal part of uni life, though, so I'm telling you about it. And confessing to showing up to a tute hideously hungover, and nonetheless making astute observations about the bleak way in which James Joyce exposes the isolation inherent in modernist cities in Dubliners.
Confession-booth session over!
Being back in college is taking some getting used to, as well. I keep forgetting when meal-times are, or that it's frowned upon to play the Ramones loudly at three in the morning and so forth. But we have a range of delightful new students, and it's gorgeous to be back in a community where it's quite normal to have spontaneous gathering for triple-cream brie and wine, or eight different kinds of tea. To be back in a community where tutors leave snacks and encouraging notes on top of your textbooks in the rooftop courtyard.
And on a final note; I'd stayed at a friend's house the other night and had to catch a train to uni. I now understand what all of you commuters have to go through. Sheer torture. I will never be flippant about Metro ever again.
Anyone have any public transport horror stories to share? I just had the fairly predictable crammed-against-stinky-armpits scenario. (Seriously, how are people already reeking of sweat at half-nine in the morning?)
According to Barney (my mac), I am now running on reserve power and have 9 minutes before he sleeps so let's do this quickly.
I always have midyear resolutions instead of New Year ones - I'm better at keeping these ones anyway. So this one's mine:
Do amazingly well this semester to make up for last semester's results. (Eeeep I just checked Facebook and now I've got 6 minutes) I'm going to Year 12 this semester up! (Yes, I did indeed just use "Year 12" as a verb. I'm a linguistics student - I think I can get away with it!) I mean, turn up to lectures, read my readings, write notes, etc. So pretty much I'm going to hole myself up. Oh, the sunlight always burns my eyes after I do that...
That is all.
Ps. Pokemon Theme Song! I love Pokemon (because I'm cool like that). AJ is also amazing. Go check him out! (Down in Melbourne this Saturday - so excited!)
So, I remembered occasionally over the course of the glorious and lengthy mid-year break that I have a blog, and considered posting an entry. But really, darling readers, I didn't think that my tales of debauch and revelry had quite enough to do with The First-Year Experience to merit an entry, so you'll just have to seek me out in the flesh for a personal recap.
Now, though, Semester Two is blaring insistently to be blogged about, and I can only allow it to do so.
I've actually been back in college for nearly a week, for the rehearsals of the upcoming play, which will be of ... questionable brilliance but certain hilarity. You should all come, folks! Here's a link: http://www.facebook.com/?sk=events#!/event.php?eid=138718226151405
Regardless, semester only properly started with the re-arrival of everyone on Sunday, and traditions and friendships all suddenly fired back into life, which was pleasant. I'm back in a world where it is naive to be astonished by formal dinners lasting four hours, where everyone has more costumes left over in their wardrobes than they know what to do with, and where tea parties erupt without warning in corridors.
I got back into the spirit of uni itself by skipping my first Psych lecture in favour of a hearty sleep-in, but did grace my Lit tute with my humble presence. It felt like being brand-new all over again, fretting about finding the classroom, dressing to give the right impression, smiling enough to be friendly but not enough to come across as 'that creepy grinning girl'. It seemed a success, though; any group containing a North London jazz singer, a Mexican guy with an unpronounceable name, and a handful of Sylvia Plath enthusiasts has got to be a good one.
So here we go again, kids. Be good. And for God's sakes, try not to get any classes in John Medley.
I was really quite nervous as the elevator made it's way to level four. I was going to a dancing class run by the MUDC*. (It took me a while to work out what the acronym stood for and which of the 15 clubs I had signed up it was that was bombarding my inbox. You can't even say it without sounding like you are trying and failing to learn some foreign language.)
I had gone to one of these dance classes with one of my friends last semester. It had been an intermediate Latin class in the latter part of the semester, and frankly, it had been a disaster. Everyone knew what they were doing, the teacher had ignored me existence and kept mentioning some scary sounding exam and it had cost more than I had been willing to part with. And that was how my ego and courage had been crush and I decided to ignore all emails from MUDC in future.
I hadn't accounted for the fact that in a moment of boredom I would decide to click the link in the email (in my defence, I didn't read the email itself) and browse around the MUDC site, which is when I discovered that classes were free in the first two weeks of term and that there was street Latin on at a time that I happened to have a two hour break. (I had been telling everyone that I would love to learn Salsa without actually intending to go out of my way to find somewhere to learn Salsa.) And so by a freak coincidence I pencilled the class into my diary.
And so that was how I found myself outside the door to room 404 in the Arts Centre listening to muffled operatic music through the door and glancing around nervously, not sure whether I was in the right place. I hadn't been organised enough to rope one of my friends into doing this with me.
"Are you here for the dancing thing?" The girl I presumed had been waiting for a class in one of the adjacent rooms asks me.
"Uh yeah... Is this the right place?"
"I hope so. Don't go in that room though. They're doing something else at the moment."
"I suppose you learnt the hard way then!"
I found out that she was on exchange from Edinburgh, and this was only her second week in Melbourne. (So brave! And here I was scared shitless about a dancing class even though I learnt ballet for 10 years of my life.) We talk to some of the other loitering souls in the hallway and discover that they are just as alone, more inexperienced, and just as first-year-bly as me. Which makes us more or less spur-of-the-moment friends. And already its not seeming all that bad.
I had thought that I wouldn't have to go to any more not-knowing-anyone things after exhausting all my friend-making energy in the first semester, but the dancing class was brilliant. I loved the style of dancing, it was so naturally to just get to know everyone (well, at least the guys that we had to rotate through) and I hadn't spent a cent! (I know, I'm stingy.)
I'm 100% intending to go back next week, whether anyone I know joins me or not. And intending to pay the $50 to continue for the rest of the semester. (It's not expensive if you know that you'll enjoy it.) I have joined countless clubs, dabbled in a couple, but it took me until now to find one that I can make an honest commitment to and one where I can just get along with people purely out of a common interest. And thinking about it, I could not be happier if I had stumbled upon this in first semester. (After all I needed first semester to find my feet, and there's no point dancing if your feet are lost.)
*FYI: Melbourne University Dancesport Club
At 8:09 I wake up. At 8:15 I fall asleep again. At 8:30 my alarm wakes me up again.
I had a dream. I dreamt that I had heard my text message tone. I flip open my phone. I had indeed heard my text message tone. I start thumbing some words, but decide it is too early in the morning and mindlessly delete the message.
It seems to early in the morning to be on the train. Too early to be making my way to the tram stop. I have taken this tram ride countless times, but there's a strange unfamiliarity to the trip today. I try to read, but instead I glance around nervously hoping to catch sight of someone I know. No luck.
I make my way to my first lecture. Everything still has a haze of unfamiliarity. All the people around me are still strangers. It's starting to feel like the first day of first semester all over again. The red-headed boy in front of me cranes his head around as if expecting to see someone he knows. He's just around stranger.
"Kyle Theatre" says the sign above the door. Already anxious, my heart skips a beat. But then I look again and realise that it is merely the work of some vandal, and I haven't been transported to another dimension where my memory of the location of the Lyle Theatre has been dislocated. I silently express my relief.
A girl sitting outside waiting for the doors to be opened looks at me for a moment, just the passing of an eye. I'm reminded of the first few classes of first semester, talking to the people waiting around outside, wondering if I'll recognise someone a second time, let alone remember their name. The girl looks somewhat familiar, and yet not quite like anyone I think I know. My fears of a alternate dimension where everything is familiar but not recognisable nudge the back of my mind. For what ever reason, I position myself awkwardly on the corner of the seat next to the girl and make a good pretence of reading. But really I'm wondering where all the people I met in first semester are, glancing up so often that I never really read a whole sentence.
Finally! I see someone I know. Relief crosses our faces at the same time. And all of a sudden there are people I know everywhere I turn. Nervous anticipation is lost in conversation. People who I know from physics are in my maths class, it seems like a miraculous coincidence, even though it is quite natural that we all need to do this subject. Just seeing people I know is enough to make me calm and happy.
"The lecturer looks like a grumpy one," my friend whisper's in my ear.
He proves otherwise the moment he starts talking. The subject introductions are thankfully shorter this semester. (Textbook bla bla bla. Assessments bla bla bla. Lectopia bla bla bla.) I am less surprised when the lecturer hints at how much work we need to do. (Quote: If you do not do any maths for three consecutive days you will be destroyed.) And I know exactly what I need to take note of when all the theory starts pelting down on us.
Sure it's another first day of semester. But my god am I thankful not to have to go through the fumbling and clumsiness of first semester all over again. This can only get better as the semesters go by right?
By my second class, all the strange unfamiliarity of the morning has already become monotonous routine.
Ah, and so tomorrow begins a new semester, same subjects (...kinda), same campus. There's a mid-year intake, ja? New people! HI NEW PEOPLE! I HAVE TIPS FOR YOU.
- wait until after the first week to sort out whether you actually need to purchase the textbooks. it says you should buy them, but this mostly seems to be a lie. i should know, i have about $450 worth of books that i've opened once or twice. if you need a certain section of the text for whatever, you can go to the library! or maybe google has it! it usually does. sometimes the books are pretty useful though, the Biology one for instance has pretty diagrams, some of which cannot be found on google... ah, who am i kidding. don't bother with the books if you can help it.
- have you just met someone that you don't hate? that you can stand looking at? that might not stalk you? that isn't pointing at you and laughing? GET THEIR FACEBOOK/PHONE NUMBER/ADDRESS/TIMETABLE/BIRTH CERTIFICATE. cause really, the campus is big. even if you do exactly the same subjects as this wonderful person, you probably wont run into them again. unless they are stalking you. in which case, you were a damn fool for handing over your birth certificate, driver's license, and passport.
- clubs! you can join them if you want. personally, i've joined 3 (maybe?), i've attended only one meeting, and i know for sure that each have a weekly meeting. however, it's the easiest and least awkward way for finding people with similar interests to you. you're a little fish now, in a big pond of many different kinds of fish. chances are that you'll find an interesting/funny/charming/sexy fish without trying too hard.
- lunch! make your own. unless you have money for mostly dubious food at the union house. i guess you could leave the campus for food. but everytime i do that i end up exploring some strange part of the CBD and i forget how i got there, why i left the campus, where all my money went. on the note of lunch, the food co-op is great; it nearly makes up for every other food stall thingo in the union house. nearly...
- whatever amount of study you think you're going to do for the rest of the year, you're wrong. adjust expectations accordingly.
- also, at least TRY to study. not studying - even your easiest subject! the one you sleep through! the one you rock up to tutes and ace! the one you love to hate! - will result in a fail. by this, i mean you'll get 49. YOU WILL FAIL AND CURSE!!!
trust me.
i had useful things to say here... what was that...
Dear person reading this who (hopefully) used to hold me in high regard but would now probably feel inclined to deny a friend request from me on Facebook due to my appalling blogging skills,
It has been roughly 46 days since I last blogged. You probably want an explanation for that. Well, to be perfectly honest, you're not really going to get one. A bunch of poor excuses is probably the best I can do. Examples:
- *Generic comment about exams and assignments.*
- *Generic comment about unusual canine consumption habits.*
- *Nonsensical blaming of inanimate objects as the cause of my motivational demise.*
- *Off-handed remark about the appalling lack of hat-wearing men in the world.*
- *Lament over the superfluity of non-hat-wearing men in the world.*
- *Reference once again to the notation that I create a large vacuum.*
And so on and so forth. Basically, in the time since I last posted, the following things have happened:
- Final assignments were started, procrastinated over, and finished at the latest time possible
- A certain Australian Politics exam was fiercely hated
- I got a job at Kmart Moonee Ponds. Come visit me! If you're having trouble identifying me, just look for the register where numerous alarms are going off due to my general incompetence.
- Melbourne Uni StalkerSpace - it is hilarious
- Timetables were created
- Results were humorously released many days before they should have been due to sneaky snooping around the portal
I would like to expand on the last two points a little. Firstly, timetables produced a fair amount of angst and lulz. My friend and I were right there at 10am, having pretty much already figured out what we wanted to do, but I must say that while the system as a whole is a good idea, it would have been nice if it didn't take half an hour to work properly. Also, I have a lecture clash, grr. I don't want to change subjects. Irritating. But I practically have Thursdays and Fridays off if I don't go to my only lecture on Thursday, so woo! :D
As for results, well! For starters, I wish to point out that out of all my subjects last semester, Australian Politics was definitely my worst, results-wise and doing-things-properly-wise. A H3 and a P aren't really the most impressive of marks, although I was suitably stoked that I didn't fail. At least it proved to me once and for all that there was a very good reason why I had never done politics before. :P So when it came to pass that we could access our results in a sneaky way on the portal, 3 of my 4 subjects - Politics being the odd one out - had their results up, as the Politics exam had only been a few days earlier. I was most pleased with my results: straight H2B's (70, 70 and 72). Considering I did not put a large amount of effort into my work, I was more than satisfied with this, and it also gave me motivation to try a little bit harder next semester. So at this point, considering my previous two marks for politics, I was praying that I would be able to scrape a H3 if possible. The day came when the result was released. Get this: Australian expletive Politics ended up being my highest mark. I got a 73. All I can conclude is that I must have raped the motherexpletive expletive out of that expletive exam! Maybe you guys can help me speculate: having attained a H3 and a P, what would I have got on my exam to be able to manage an overall score of 73?! I am so confused. Rapt at the same time as horrified that Politics was my best subject. It's such a typical Cristina occurrence.
On that note, I shall leave you. I hope this wall of text will sufficiently make up for my lack of presence. And if not, I have a present for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjKVJFhFK8Y This was made during the procrastinative period between the handing in of my 3 final assignments and the agonising wait for the Australian Politics exam (two weeks later, on the last day of the exam period).
Cristina.
P.S. Are you also a gleek? (If this question seems out of the blue, then you didn't click on the above link and have henceforth made me sad. Though if you do click on the link, be sure to read the video description. I don't do things like that just for the hell of it...usually)
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