I am in the most wonderful mood right now. However as soon as I finish writing this I am going to RUN TO BED AND COLLAPSE AND SLEEEEEP!
The last few days have been so incredibly busy. Yesterday was full of Pre-Employment at David Jones (i.e. filling out a million forms which resulted in running late on my schedule and having to miss a lecture...). I did get a thrill out of the situation however as I had to park in this REALLY difficult car park at the train station...and I succeeded. I got out of the car, had a look and felt very proud of myself. [Yes folks, I only got my license 1.5 months ago!].
Didn't get home til about 6:30pm last night which was a long day for me after being up early for the David Jones stuff in the morning.
Today was a 6am start. My parent’s car was due for a service in the city...so I had offered to drive it in for them and pick it up this evening. The plan was to leave as early as possible to avoid traffic. Somehow despite being awake at 6, it took me an hour to just get dressed and downstairs for breakfast. [Not good]. I finally got out the door, and had not driven in the city in peak hour traffic before...so very interesting to say the least. I am still alive....so I succeeded [BIG accomplishment!]
After running half an hour late to my first tute due to the car thing....finally got to Uni. Straight after the tute I went to my first "Student/Staff Consultative Meeting" with the Accounting & Business Information Systems Department. It was FANTASTIC!!! The head of the department, Professor Stewart Leech, led the meeting and was very friendly and easy going. I felt very comfortable and relaxed and I think the meeting was a great success. We got some very interesting discussion going about the learning atmosphere of the department...and it is so wonderful as a student to know how much the department cares about creating the best learning experience possible for students.
One thing that I feel is most important, is to remind students of the importance of Quality of Teaching surveys. So many students underestimate how seriously these are taken. I believed they were important because one or two of my lecturers had mentioned the results before, but at the meeting today I found out how truly fundamental they are to determining things on all levels; from how subjects are taught, to the very existence of subjects. The people who read these reports are those people teaching you and directing departmental goals - it goes right up to the top. Hence it is so important to take them seriously and write honest comments about your subjects. I always try to go to an extra effort of writing a comment as well, not just ticking a box.
For students doing BPA who have no idea why they are doing this subject: the point of this subject is to give you an understanding of how different accounting practices tie in with the formation, and running of ACTUAL REAL-LIFE BUSINESSES. It is so when you go out into the workplace (as an Accountant), you know how a business functions from start to end, and how all the processes are interconnected in regards to accounting information - leading to outcomes of business success or failure. Kinda makes things seem like they have a bit more of a point right?
So...after the meeting, I rushed off to my actual BPA tute! Funnily enough at the end...I got chatting with my tutor...he is a great guy...really puts in the work for preparation and is A+ as far as things go (if only all tutors were up to his standards). Anyways - he actually told me how boring he thinks BPA is right now in the way it is taught - to the point that he doesn't want to teach it next year! - Hence he is planning on putting a submission in on how he thinks it should be run. I hope he does. I think any suggestions would be great as this COULD be an interesting subject. I understand how it is a challenge to really achieve the aims of a subject sometimes...you just have to keep tinkering until you find something that fits I think.
So by my 1-2pm 'break' I had received two assignments back....I was relieved to see my hard work in them had paid off. HOWEVER...I was quite shocked (as were a number of others) when a particular subject tutor informed us of the way assignments were marked in regards to a particular question....which if didn't include a diagram was "immediately 5/10". This was of great shock to me as this question was very literary-based.
My favourite subject had 'supposedly' had tutors ordered to mark a specific question in accordance with a diagram or no diagram policy?! I almost feel inclined to email the lecturer and ask about this.
Now I DID this particular question...and by a fate of luck had included a diagram, only because I read on the Online Tutor that it had been mentioned by the lecturer we should discuss "Oil Shocks"...and hence when discussing this personally found it easier to include some diagrams. But my original draft included no diagrams in regards to this question. "What ifs" formed in my head. Now if it had been mentioned that diagrams were 'compulsory'...it would have been a whole other story. I fared ok in the end, but I feel really bad for those who got screwed over on marks because of this ‘supposed’ marking policy.
Fair or unfair? Who decides these things?
During my lunch 'break'...I in fact got no lunch! Ran off to a committee meeting - am very excited about being involved! I am going to plan a 'high tea' event next year to raise money for a charity...which at this point is likely to be OvCar or something similar. I was inspired by the leadership of this charity after hearing a speaker from it at the FMAA Women’s Forum earlier this year.
Finally escaped that meeting and RAN to the political interest society. MY BELOVED SOCIETY! I am not getting enough time with them right now. Somehow managed to figure out what was being discussed and brought up a point none of the intellectuals surrounding me had thought up -SCORE!!! And everyone agreed it was a valid point - SCORE 2!!! So was thrilled. I love the people there! I truly do get a buzz from just listening to the discussion...and having them listen to me when I say something small! On the 25th of November for the STATE ELECTION...we are meeting up at a local pub in the city to discuss the election, see what crazy antics occur...and cheer on the winner (or losers?). Should be great fun – feel free to come alone anyone. Will post details soon.
Bought a new tote bag....very cute nautical navy, red and white striped Gant one - great for Uni.
Drove J home from the city (including a stop at a bottle shop drive through for a coke in a glass bottle $1.50 bargain)
And somehow managed to meet my family for dinner at 6:45pm at my favourite little suburban Italian restaurant....where I gorged myself on my favourite dish - Fettuccine and Fresh Garden Vegetables. Just perfect.
Last but not least….one of my oldest, close friends won ticket to the MAKE POVERTY HISTORY – AND SHE INVITED ME!!!!!!!! By some stoke of fate…my last exam is in the morning of the 17th…and the concert starts at 4pm so I can make it. I cannot wait. I am so glad she invited me, and our other close mutual friend. It should be a fantastic event with a great atmosphere…for wouldn’t it be incredible if we really could make poverty history?
-Starlett
P.S
EXAMS!!!!! That is all.
*note*: I have had this post in my drafts for probably over a month now, and have been gradually adding to it...so much has been going on that I haven't really had enough time to get to the POSTING stage!
Yet again I have waited a long long time to write a new post, so I guess this might end up being longer than usual, again. I’m pretty sure my last post talked about all the damage I did to my leg from "that soccer incident". well, 2 weeks after it happened, the day I left for Sydney, I was on crutches...when I got back to Sydney I went to a couple of specialists and x ray appointments only to be told that I wasn't to use crutches or bandages or any kind of support and instead I must do 90 leg presses of 50kg on each leg once a day plus some swimming for the week before I went to Adelaide, if I wanted any chance of still being able to compete. I feel a tad macho now. But the most important thing was that I was able to go to Adelaide!!!!!!!!!!! 4 words:
MOST.INSANE.WEEK.EVER.
Okay I can't just leave it at that...but where does one start?!?!?!?!
on the 24th I woke at 6am to catch my 8am flight from Sydney to Melbourne, arrived here safely then hung around for a bit and met up with my team and the men’s team to catch our flight to Adelaide. I was a "fresher" along with 6 or so others, much like college o-week freshers. So, of course we got the dirty work done on us all week! Our first task was to ask for 30 packets of peanuts on the plane by the time we landed in Adelaide, easy enough! 15 minutes into the flight and I was walking down the aisle trying not to drop the load I was carrying.
So we landed, checked in, shopped, blah blah...the week was filled with excitement. I don't really know how to explain it all to someone who hasn't been there, but it was truly one of the best weeks of my life...And I am proud to say that I am the first fresher ever to receive immunity from the shirt of shame on the first night away!! :P
Apart from the social side, the main reason we were there was of course to compete in water polo. And that we did. We made it into the bronze medal play-off which we were stoked to be in, so to lose that and come fourth made us ecstatic, as it's the best that Melbourne has ever gone in women's water polo!! Also, funnily enough, a majority of the team who won gold (Sydney uni) are girls I knew because I used to play with them in New South Wales!!
The last night, Friday, we had the "Australian water polo ball" "BALL" yeah. Definition of ball for the freshers: dressed up nicely, only with the addition of obscene permanent marker drawings all over you (again), a ski boot, oh and how can I forget- I was taped between two boys by the hands for the night! Of course there was regular toilet breaks too!!! Ahhhhh!! All in good fun though Haha, had an awesome night. We also weren't allowed cutlery or chairs which was...fun.
On Saturday after an obligatory stop at cold rock ice cream -for breakfast- we headed out to the airport and jetted back to Melbourne. I was sad to be leaving behind so much fun, but glad to be back in Melbourne even more so!! whilst I was back in Sydney, even though I went out with lots and lots of my friends, caught up with family, old workmates, pets etc., I still realised how much I really appreciate college and the atmosphere that all of us living here have allowed ourselves to be a part of. I hate to think of the fact that I was so close to leaving this place, regardless of the circumstances.
I guess that brings me to the "love-sickness" part of the title of this post... for about a month and a half now i've actually been going out with someone from my college, he's a wonderful person, and i know for a fact that most everyone else here thinks the same too, and another funny thing Sophie- it's ANOTHER "J" ha ha.
On Friday 6th October I was in the intercollegiate athletics which was okay but my leg didn't really agree with me. Before my last race I got a phone call from my mum to say that my grandpa probably wasn't going to survive the night... (he'd been sick for a while with dementia and Parkinson’s and hadn't been able to speak or feed himself or move for a couple of years) I’m pretty sure everyone saw me wiping away tears when I was about to start my race, but... whatever, i hate hearing my parents upset and being so far away from them at the same time.
On Saturday morning I got "The Call"... This is the fourth death of someone really close to me this year, so I wasn't very surprised when my initial reaction was just silence ( I was worried my mum would think that it didn't mean anything to me or something). but as soon as I hung up the phone after lying to my mum and assuring her I was okay, I went and sat down next to Joe and bawled my eyes out for something like an hour and a half...sure it's a relief in a sense when someone who is so helplessly ill is finally ridded of such a long time filled with suffering horrible things, but my grandpa was still an important influential part of my life and who I was, who I am now, and perhaps who I will become in the future. After I drained my eyes and nose Joe and I chatted about him for a while which made me feel a lot better... then he took me to the zoo for the day :D.
Unfortunately, me thinking that I’d be going through this semester without any need for special consideration was short-lived. Whilst I was waiting those 2 weeks for the call from my mum I had 2 assignments I was meant to be doing, plus study for upcoming exams. it was really hard to concentrate when I was waking up each morning and the first thought that popped into my mind had to be "Please not today..." so I had to apply for special consideration for those 2 assignments which kind of bugged me but hey I guess you can't let it get you too down.
The next Tuesday I went to the 2006 Transition Forum at Graduate House where first I filled in a questionnaire, treated myself to the massive array of food they'd put out for us for lunch, then joined my group to be interviewed. Funnily enough I was in Sophie's group, so it was great to finally meet her, and to be able to have my say on the transition process from a secondary to tertiary-level education.
On Wednesday I was meant to go to the lunch organised for us bloggers but, of course I couldn't make it (again). But it was because my grandpa's funeral was on Wednesday. Back to Tuesday, that night I caught the train to Wodonga and Joe generously offered to come with me which I thought was really really REALLY nice of him- not many people would travel to meet their girlfriend's family for the first time at a funeral! So we got into Wodonga (where my grandparents and aunties and uncles live) at around 9pm.
Wednesday morning was one of those "I really don't want to face the day" mornings. But I finally got up and got ready, and then we made our way to the church. The service was beautiful, and because my grandpa was a major in the army, we were all given a red poppy to wear and his casket was sitting at the front with his medals, hat, and the Australian flag alongside it. Funerals are one of my two phobias, so it wasn't long while we were in there before I was a bit...shaky.
I had to read a passage giving thanks to my grandpa, which I only found out the night before, which I really wasn't sure if I wanted to do because of me already being hardly able to bear funerals themselves. 2 of my other cousins and I were asked to say something and I was last so it was even harder to be waiting behind them and see them walk back to their spots crying or with tears in their eyes, especially my younger cousin Stace...that really shook me up. Eventually I got through what I had to say and went back to my seat where I turned into a blubbering mess, and then my mum read a eulogy so we both didn't really help each others' situations! The funeral finished with my uncles, 2 of my cousins, and the man who was best man at my grandparents' wedding carrying the coffin out with us trailing behind it through a guard of honor by other retired services which I thought was really nice. The burial was pretty moving too and he was buried with the Australian flag draped over his coffin, with poppies and rose petals we all scattered on top.
The most moving part was definitely when a last post was done as the coffin was lowered into the ground, and I found myself just standing there for quite a while I I guess that's when it hit me- that sight: The flag, the flowers, all the remaining men who had been alongside my grandpa in the army saluting his coffin with tears in their eyes as they said their final goodbyes, my grandma sitting on the side upset, my family and friends upset, and even people who never knew my grandpa being moved by the burial...That's when it hit me that this was to be my final memory of my grandfather, and it wasn't the best thought, but I guess it's inevitable. All of a sudden, my uncle said "I really wish we had an empty can of beer to put in there with him"... and it's so true haha, he really was the image of a "Typical Aussie Bloke" while he was able to live life normally.
After the burial was the wake where we chatted and I was able to meet some people in my family I’d never met before, then we went around to my uncle and aunt’s house and just relaxed for a while in the blistering heat...this is also where Joe was interrogated by my crazy family lol. We both caught the train back to Melbourne that night.
Since then, I’ve just been getting back into uni work (again), we also had the sports dinner on Wednesday night where I came third in female sportswoman of the year, and won the best and fairest award for soccer...so that was lots of fun and I was pretty surprised to have come third with only a 1 point margin, because I was only able to compete in 4 sports this year!! Afterwards we went to PA's and of course a good night was had by all. I've also been keeping at sport- water polo of course and mixed netball which is lots of fun...and I’ve been to a couple more animal places...Collingwood Children's Farm and Warrook (sp?) Farm which was awesome- I got to feed various baby animals, watch sheepdogs do their work, learnt how to drag a sheep for shearing, the different sorts of wool and regulations on this, rode around on the back of a trailer, learnt the 2 methods for milking dairy cows, fed kangaroos and various birds and even made friends with a very social Galah!!
I went to the aquarium on Saturday with 4 friends from college which was lots of fun...it took us so long to get there though because we kept on stopping to take photos alongside all the different landmarks along the Yarra River!! On Sunday I played mixed netball, then went to Fitzroy to see a movie that one of the tutors here who is also a 5th year arts student made. It was meant to be in the arts festival but he submitted it too late!! It’s called "No Pride, Just Prejudice" and it was really funny...very straightforward and quite rude but you just have to take it the right way and know what they were getting at hahah.
This week brings my last few lectures and tutes, and the val dinner on Wednesday which should be good. I'm starting to hit the "OMGWTFBBQEXAMS" stage and am going a tad insane, so I can see that next week during SWOTVAC I will be a very anti-social hermit living in the reading room here at college. But I guess after the next 3 weeks of hard work it will all pay off and then it will be summer holidays!!
Speaking of summer, how nice is the weather here today?? Sunlight is definitely a major source of endorphins for Lara.
Good luck to all in everything you're doing.
Lara.
I've got plans. A band, and animation and a video clip.
When the exams are over, I'm going to go wild. Not that there's anything wrong with learning. Suddenly I'm enjoying the stuff I'm learning again. It's just the moment that I have two assignments waiting to be completed involving concepts I don't yet understand I get worried.
Back to the main point of this entry. For a new song I'm working on I want to record a video clip of heaps of people dancing. I hope to find some people interested from Locking classes, which I keep missing due to other commitments, and all get some groovy moves going. From my high school friends I'd like to try to get them to either do a bit of freestyle and also together in a group. I also want to try to recruit some friend's sister's friends who have a really unique dancing style.
After my success with Angry Man at the U-Film Festival, I want to try to get another 2D animation down for next year's Sony Trop Fest. I have absolutely no idea what in the world I'm going to do, but if I'm lucky I'll work it out after waking up at 3am one morning.
But the thing I'm most excited with right now is trying to start a funk band with some friends. I've had a few ideas for some songs that would be based around the bass line. Other members I have so far would be my brother on the drums, one of my best friends on clarinet and another guy from my old school on guitar. I think that next year I'll be on the look out for people to play organ, violin, saxophone and another percussion instrument like conga's. (I think I might hang around the African drumming club next year for this, if I don't find someone else first.) I'm not going to bother finding too many people until at least I've got a few good things down with my brother. I'd like to eventually get an album down, get a few gigs and hopefully be able to hear ourselves on 106.7 PBS FM. Now this is going to be fun!
So far, I've only been to ONE event, which is very disappointing but it has been a very busy time of semester. I'll just talk about it briefly (yes, this is an attempt to push my entry count higher, I'm no longer last if you haven't noticed!). It was Romeo Castellucci's Tragedia Endogonidia BR.#04 Brussels and it was incredible. It was a semiotic feast and an absolute postdramatic delight. If you have any interest in postdramatic theatre or performance art, you have missed out on something sublime. It had no verbal dialogue, and starred an old man in a bikini, a baby and a balding 18th Century Gothic woman. It was also very violent and confrontational, but in my opinion, in a beautiful way. Astoundingly visual, experiential theatre about the manifestation of tragedy in society; this was episode four in an eleven part series, each episode centred on a different European city. I can only hope that the others, at some point, make their way to Australia.
Seeing Japanese company dumb type's production Voyage tonight - should be great!
Have a good weekend all, and keep studying!
Well…the last few weeks have been busy to say the least. Add to that a lack of sleep, close friends with serious problems…and other life issues – well let’s just say my patience with people is being tested.
I’m sick and tired of needing to be in 3 places at once, (Wednesdays are the worst)…and it’s frustrating because I feel like I’m alone in this regard. I get people telling me “Hello! You’re first year! Why are you so busy?”
Sometimes I don’t even know how I fall into this schedule of running from place to place. I think it just relates to the great need I feel to do my absolute best, to achieve, to contribute and be a part of, uni life.
A University education is to me, something that must be experienced – hence my continual self-push to be involved in as many things that I deem important.
Overall…my motivation is the fact that I know so many people would give anything for the opportunities being thrown as me right now – and I will not take everything I have for granted; I owe it to all those who are without, to become something, to be someone who can change the state of the world in the future.
This optimistic nature of change embedded within me, has however, suffered greatly over the last week. I have seen so many displays of selfishness in my fellow peers…it makes me so angry and upset. But at the same time I think this selfishness is merely sheer ignorance, and hence you cannot blame people - BUT I DO!
Have people always been so rude, so self-obsessed, so lazy? Or is our consumerist, inwards-looking nation simply the driver of such ‘new-age’ attitudes?
The small things mean so much though, and little things can restore some faith in humanity for me.
Yesterday I rushed out of my accounting tute (I faced an hour of needing to be at 3 places at once)…walking/running. I realised that I’d left my favourite wrap draped over a chair in the classroom. I rushed back, to find that a girl from my class had seen it and stayed back 5 minutes hoping I might return. I was so taken-aback by her thoughtful nature…she was so sweet and I couldn’t stop thanking her – and then even I felt like I myself had fallen victim to these modern times because I didn’t know her name! Unfortunately, this particular tutorial is one of those “anonymous” types ones…where silence prevails, no one knows anyone…and you sit alone (though I have managed to befriend one lovely girl, an international student).
As I rushed off to a meeting after getting my wrap back…what followed was an interesting experience which led me to question my personal nature, one which is direct/honest and free of self-censorship.
This meeting was for a certain organisation/group/club that is starting up within Australia. I had heard about this group a year or so ago via the internet, but had never taken it further because their name (despite being a play on words) offended me to an extent – and still does.
I am however joining this group because of the prospects it offers- very good ones at that…and also, for what I personally see in the values behind the group – “a network of women from culturally rich backgrounds who possess enormous intellectual firepower…they know what every ‘old boy’ networker knows...that it's all about sharing one's best relationships with trusted friends.”
Talking with the lady who was organising the Australian launch….I tried to be enthusiastic (I WAS enthusiastic)…about this women-only networking group, focussed on helping women achieve their career goals and breaking through the ‘glass ceiling’.
Since there was a focus on getting people to join, particularly outside the Commerce sphere of academia and the lady I was speaking to emphasised this, I made a very casual reference in a light/joking manner to “a few feminists from the Political Interest Society” who may be interested in joining.
Immediately I was rebuffed in quite a serious manner…”Oh no, this is not a feminist group…that is not the aim of the group…I wouldn’t want to associate with that kind of thing.”
Quickly I was in damage-control mode, praying my PR skills would make the cut. I think I did OK because she happily gave me her business card at the end of it…but my respect for this women who prided herself on being an ‘entrepreneur’ faced some questions.
At the same time, a stunning and very intelligent young student who was standing, talking with us had, only minutes before my comment, mentioned that her boyfriend did not respect her input into his business decisions because he thought as a woman she knew nothing about the building industry. This stunning young woman also seemed rather shocked when I aligned ‘feminism’ with the club.
Why is it that to be a feminist is so wrong these days? Why do women themselves not want to be feminists? Why was my comment so horribly misinterpreted and rejected?
I would regard myself as a feminist…what is wrong with that? Does it mean I won’t get a job? Are people afraid of me because of that? Am I looked down upon because of that?
In my eyes, there is nothing threatening about feminism -to be a feminist is not to be a militaristic, bra-burning, unshaven woman of the 1960s.
To be a feminist in the year 2006 - from my perspective - is to simply believe that equality between men and women is fundamental to a healthy and democratic society, and that we have not yet achieved full equality, hence we must still discuss, argue and encourage change until the statistics prove otherwise and equality is so deeply embedded within social norms that it no longer is an issue to single out.
I believe that I am my own person who should make my own decisions, I will not be controlled or dictated to by my father, male friends, boyfriend or my future husband – for I know what is best for me, not anyone else. I will not accept lesser pay than my male colleagues, I want every man to believe that I am just as capable as he is – I want to reach those top positions in companies e.g. CEOs and boardrooms, and [in the future] I do not want to be penalised in the workforce for having a child, I do not want to be looked down upon for being a mother, I want to be a mother who HAS a career… I want every woman in the world to command the same level of respect as men do.
Is there something so wrong with this when men have had these rights for hundreds of years, while the majority of abuse in the world still happens to women, and women and children still make up the majority of the poorest of the poor in the world?
I am not saying that we haven’t come a long way [at least in Australia]. This is not a man-hating rant in the least.
I believe that the majority of my male friends (and I have many of them), treat me on the same level as them and respect me in every way.
I know that men in their late 20s, 30s and early 40s are also typically informed in their views towards women and are well beyond any of the sexist attitudes found in the past.
I am sure it helps that many of my younger male friends have grown up with feminist mothers, whose mothers in turn were feminists, and the older generations I know grew up in the era of the 1960s, 1970s…where feminism was a very ‘out there’ issue.
However, my point in question is that sexism is still to an extent institutionalised in the way we live. Even when attitudes change in people, attitudes entrenched in institutions can remain the same. It is within this respect, that we must realise change is still waiting. –If we want it?
For those who decide the future of our nation - our Parliament - is still overwhelmingly represented by males, females in CEO positions are a rare commodity and representation in boardrooms even less so. When it comes to pop-culture and the media, I have to question even further at what time exactly, it was decided that “Raunch Culture” was OK?
For many of these things, perhaps it is simply a matter of time before change occurs. For other things, I think perhaps the problem lies more with people being unsure of what they really want society to accept and portray.
But despite this, I think it is most important that we maintain a strong element of knowledge, questions and discussion in regards to the role of women in society – we must not let sleeping dogs lie. We – women, and those men we hold dear, must join together to ask as one, what kind of values we want our country to accept and value. The battle may have been won but the war itself seems clearly far from over.
I am left with many questions and, on top of everything else on my mind right now, a strong sense of discomfort in regards to this ‘feminism issue’. Immediately after the meeting in which a mere mention of feminism was criticised, I rushed to find J and vent to him about what I had experienced. Diplomatic, realistic J told me that the majority of people do not view feminism the way I do and unfortunately, because of this, I need to be careful what I say to people.
Such a large part of me fears this is right…I have experienced these feelings before; this is not the first time (and will not be the last). But is censoring a view, I see as fundamental to life, right?
This year my dream of University being a place where people are on a quest for knowledge and understanding of different cultures and values, has been shattered in many respects.
However, my faith in humanity prevailing, despite the odds, still remains. When you push deeper, and challenge the thought patterns of many people at this University, you will find that many ARE willing to consider things differently. [HOPE!]
I still love this place more and more every day because of the excitement of it, the exuberance, the glory of youth, the intellectual stimulation, the people from every which-place; however I guess the reality compared to the ‘ideal’ (which I know is impossible in existence), is that University is merely a microcosm of society as a whole. Hence you get the good, the bad and the ugly.
-Sophie
IF somebody was to rock up to University one morning with three limbs in plaster, I would happily sacrifice half an hour of my lecture time in order to hear whatever story it is they have to tell (presumably one including something as interesting as free-fall base jumping, visit Mark Latham day, or simply rather a lot of alcohol). That carries kudos. Arriving with your arm in a sling indicates a half-decent injury such as a dislocated shoulder which at least points the way to a grimace-inducing and very manly sporting mishap. That carries kudos. Bandages could conceal wounds obtained in a no-holds-barred underworld machete fight. That carries kudos. I mean, for goodness' sakes, even a set of Steristrips spells the kudos-carrying words of "f-i-s-t-f-i-g-h-t" across your forehead, but a set of band-aids, however, tell the world one thing and one thing only. Suggested slogan: "Band-Aids. For when you've made a complete tool of yourself".
Think about it. Remember all the times you've ever had to wear a Band-Aid because you were too weak to go and get yourself a proper injury? Cut your hand cooking? Bandage and stitches, and pronto. Cut your finger turning the page? Sorry son, you're a tool, and that'll be a Band-Aid. Emerged from a footy pack with your hand pointing towards Venus and your fingers splayed out in the direction of Mars? That's a lot of pain and a great story to tell your mates afterwards. Walked into the door getting into the changeroom afterwards? Not only have you made a complete tool of yourself, but, even worse, that's going to need a Band-Aid. The other unwritten law of Band-Aids is, naturally, that some ungrateful, similarly ditzy wretch will have taken the last skin-coloured one and so you will now be presented with a choice of loud pink or Sesame-Street themed Band-Aids to tack across your forehead.
I suppose it's time to come clean and divulge my own Band-Aid story. I currently am the proud owner of three angry-looking scrapes across the top of my head; one on the middle of the forehead, one with a cut below my hairline, and another one across the top of the bridge of my nose. (Suggested reply to any interested onlookers; "No, I just went to pick my nose and kept missing"). The best description I can give of my appearance is that I look like someone who has just shot a television series called "Fun with Ashphalt". In actual fact, the scrapes were really the result of a full-scale fight with poor Kim's swimming pool. I was butterfly-kicking underwater (with eyes open) and looking for the end of the pool. Unfortunately, my eyes had a little difficulty in locating it, so my head decided to come to the rescue. I resurfaced, shook my head twice, checked that my skull pointed outwards rather than in, and laughed. Kim took one look, went rather pale, and told me that I was bleeding. I thought it was actually fairly funny. Oh Jez, you've made a complete tool of yourself. And, what's more, I think that's going to need a Band-Aid.
On a somewhat nicer and definetely far more pleasant note, last Thursday us Bloggers had a lunch put on for us by the Transition Department. (Sandwiches... cake... fruit... obviously they'd run out of lobster by the time Thursday rocked around). Not only did I catch up with the Powers That Be (under watchful eye to make sure that I didn't put a foot out of line, of course), but I also had the opportunity to meet Chris and Jim, which was naturally an absolute pleasure. To add to an already wonderful hour, the Transition Department gave us a certificate of appreciation and a free book for our troubles... I see that as being fifteen dollars off my HECS debt, with roughly only a couple of thousand to go.
As an interesting little postscript before I sign out once again and return to my Engineering study, I would like to bring up a small faux pas that was made in the leadup to this lunch (as long as, of course, Soph doesn't mind). Sophie is, of course, as is well-documented, the Social Secretary of the Political Interest Society (possibly the world's worst acronym for a society, but there you go), and naturally feels great obligation every time she introduces some new lamb to the PIS slaughterhouse. In the days leading up to the lunch, she was umming and aahing over whether to go to the lunch or lead this new person over to the PIS meeting. The day before the lunch, we bumped into each other by total chance outside the Bailleu. "It's ok", said Sophie, in a measured voice. "I've decided I'm not going to PIS in the middle of lunch."
enjoy the great weather -
jez.
ps - Honorable mention must go to Kim and her family, especially her sister, Jacqui, who swept away her biting exterior for an icepack and some Betadine. Thanks, guys.
I'm having one of those strange days where I just have so much to express, and writing seems to be the only way I can think of it. I'm not particularly good at crafting insightful or humourous entries; my writing just falls out of my head haphazardly in a stream of consciousness. Sometimes there are sparkly glints, sometimes it's just boring. I guess we'll see what happens. But carrying on from the post before this one, written by Chris, I'm a bit concerned/bemused by a startling revelation concerning my own personality.
I'm a girly girl. I wear skirts and dresses and I think I only own a couple of pairs of trousers. Most of my shoes are heels, I like singing and dancing, I'm a pacifist, I had a slight obsession with fairies and pixies when I was little and I have a pink iPod and candy-coloured fairy lights in my bedroom. Now I have discovered that I also like motorbikes. I'm not sure how this fits in with my lifestyle, but it has just happened! Does anybody else reading have a motorbike, or like them?
Mind you, I only went on one short ride (about an hour).. but we did go rather fast .. it was 3am, so no other cars on the road. Ok 'rather fast' is understatement of the century.. we went the kind of fast that makes your face feel like it's being ripped off. It was possibly one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. I'm not sure yet whether I just like being a passenger or if I could deal with the whole 'taking-my-life-into-my-hands' aspect of riding by myself.
Maybe I should find out if they make pink riding outfits! :P (joke...)
Random note: My housemate and I have taken to going to McDonalds on Sydney Road and buying a single cheeseburger cut in half maybe once a week or so. We're both regularly poor and we figure that half a cheeseburger isn't nearly as bad for us as a whole one each. We must look incredibly pathetic.. now the girls who work there know exactly what we want before we even ask. It's sad.
In other news, Anything Goes is going nicely. There has been an insane amount of backstage nastiness and scandal, but we somehow manage to put that behind us each night we stepped onto the stage. There are still a few tickets available on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights for anybody who wants to brave the whole hour (oh no!) to Geelong. Call 5225 1200 for tickets or details. Don't come just for me though.. I'm barely in it, unfortunately. I will post some pictures soon though.
Now to find the perfect audition song for Beauty and the Beast..
A great contradiction of my personality just became evident to me, while I sat here in the Creative Arts computer lab, taking advantage of a broadband internet connection (as I do).
On the weekend, I purchased a DVD boxset which I have literally been waiting, hanging, more than a year for. It was Season 5 of my favourite television series of all time: Six Feet Under. In all their morbidity, their neuroses and nuances, their humour, their highs and lows, I had come to grow so exceptionally fond of the Fisher family and their funeral home. As I watched the 12 episodes over two days, I can honestly say that I was entirely psychologically transfixed, and as the final episode ended, I was an emotional wreck. It was a beautiful, stunning, and yet somberly appropriate ending to an intelligent and revolutionary show. It reassured me that one day, I wanted to be able to create a work that was as powerful and resonating.
Minutes ago, I went onto YouTube and watched clips of the Yip Yip monsters from Sesame Street. I was in absolute hysterics; I don't think that I have laughed so hard in months. Their crazy detached jaws and attempts to moo and meow at a telephone were comic genius. I had to rub my eyes and ribs; it was painful.
And then I sat back and wondered, what kind of person cries at the conclusion of a dark television series, and at the antics of two puppets on Sesame Street? It's a little bizarre, isn't it? I think the contradictions in our personalities is perhaps what makes us more interesting.
Oh. Yeah. Um. Relevance. In first year, you find out about people's personalities. And their contradictions. And thus are interested. Yes.
Seeing as this blog is supposed to chronicle the bad as well as the good things involved in First Year uni, I thought I should share something a little.. well, personal. Hopefully being open will make others feel better about being open as well, because stigma is a horrible thing. Before I begin, please let me stress that this is NOT a sympathy-fishing exercise. Please don't tell me how tough it is or how sorry you are, because I already know - things are slightly alright at the moment, let's not dwell on them anymore than we need to. But I do think that it is important for this blog to offer a real view of what happens to First Years, rather than the sugar-coated version.
I have severe depression. There are some rather unfortunate genes on both sides of my family, and by the time I was 11 I was being monitored for signs of mental illness. When I was 15, it became obvious that something was wrong and I was sent off to a psychologist. He has become someone I trust and value incredibly - what he has done for me is nothing short of incredible. But at the time, I didn't want anything to do with him. In September 2003, I was taken out of school for Term 4 after what I suppose can only be described as a breakdown. One of my pet hates is when people carry on about being depressed or having depression, when they are clearly only just a bit down. Having real depression is unimaginably bad compared to being down. I felt useless, worthless and like I shouldn't exist, because I was only a burden to my family and friends. Every tiny little thing that went wrong would send me spiralling down into a state where I wished I would disappear. I saw things that weren't there, and my mind would switch in between being absolutely frozen and racing so hard I couldn't sleep for days on end. I could hear my own voice in my head spouting fast gibberish, like background noise on every other thought I tried to have. I couldn't relate to anybody anymore, my school work suddenly became shockingly bad, even things I adored gave me no joy.. and worst of all, I became incredibly irrational. I would constantly misjudge my own abilities, and became very upset when I 'failed'. It was scary.. and the situation came to a head when my psychologist offered two options - hospital, or what ultimately turned out to be 'house arrest'. My parents chose the latter.
I spent an entire summer getting better... taking medication, exercising, ridding my life of stress and other such things. I had time to do all kinds of 'healing' things, like writing, painting, drawing, running, meditating, etc... and eventually things got better. There was an absolute outpouring of cards, flowers, colouring books and cake from my friends, and I eventually realised that they liked me better than I thought they had. After several months of focusing on getting better and very little else, things did get better.
Since that first big episode, I haven't really had another one on the same scale but things have still been tough. VCE was ridiculously hard on me and I ended up getting a score that, most people who knew me or taught me will agree, was quite a bit below what I was capable of. My social life was non-existent, resulting in the loss of a lot of friends.
This year has been the hardest on record. Moving to a new city, away from my family, being far away from my boyfriend, starting at university and suddenly finding myself more friendless than I have ever been. There is nobody here to inflict any sort of routine or purpose on my life, nobody to tell me to eat something or get out of bed, nobody to remind me to take my medication or fill prescriptions, nobody to hug me better when I want to disappear. Managing this by myself has been the toughest challenge ever, and I haven't won the battle by any stretch of the imagination.
However, it's not all doom and gloom. The purpose of me revealing this was to give a real view of First Years - it occurred to me that there probably are people among us who have been battling things very similar to me, and I didn't want them to feel like they were the only ones. Suffering from mental illness doesn't make you abnormal or defective, it just means that something is happening to you that you can't always control. Last semester, I visited the Disability Liason Unit. I didn't want to go there initially, because I decided that it would be an admission of defeat - my original plan was to just somehow ignore depression and it would go away. Unfortunately, it didn't work like that. But they helped me a lot.. after sessions with one of the officers, she worked out ways in which to reduce my workload, apply for special consideration, etc. It helped so much - after the weight of the thought of failing was taken off my shoulders, trying to do well seemed just a little bit more attainable. I will probably have to apply for special consideration again this semester, but I'm hoping to stand on my own two feet a bit more next year.
There. So, if this sounds like you, you're not alone.
I have a job with David Jones still!!!
I am very relieved. I finally got hold of the HR lady and after being firm but pleasant...I managed to get a training time AFTER exams (after a process where she told me twice that nothing after exams existed!). So I am pretty thrilled. I still have to waste an hour going to the store in the Tuesday of Week 12 to fill out some papers but at least I don't have to sacrifice two whole days of study prior to exams.
I was prepared to give the job up on the spot...but I think it proves that if you keep your cool and yet remain insistent that you can't attend certain times, they will work around you (otherwise have to waste time finding someone to fill your spot).
Very relieved indeed.
I don't have time for a full-on update....I think it will suffice to say that I an incredibly stressed, worried and freaking out about exams - while at the same time suffering moments of demotivation where I end up on PinkIsTheNewBlog.com wishing I was Paris Hilton and never had to work a day in my life....but then I shake myself and realise there is no way I'd really want to be someone like that. Most important in life to me is to be respected because of my mind and what I've acheived in this world...and I don't think anyone respects Paris full stop.
So yes, I have to go - study calls!
Full update will come soon.
So much has been going on...and dammit I keep forgetting about the 2 events I need to organise for the Political Interest Society. Being Social Secretary is not an easy thing I tell you.
Cheers
-Sophie
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