First Year Diaries

Check In Time! #4 (with a lot of random life updates, and musings about the semester with friends)

2:06am, Singapore. I should not be awake at this hour-- there's no need to anyway, submissions are over for me and what's more, I have a hair appointment early next morning (deciding to highlight my hair brown and cut my fringe, something which I have never done. Let's see if it turns out to be the greatest regret of 2020! ;) ) But alas, Tiktok. Today was a good day though! A bag that I bought online finally arrived :) (picture attached). And I'm hoping to be a fish parent this holiday (yup, gonna get pet fishies and hopefully not overfeed them. Any experienced fish moms or dads here? Feel free to leave a comment below!)

Ever since submissions ended, I have been shamelessly living the life of a sloth. Save for outings with my family and friends (that are definitely more subdued, thanks to the current pandemic :( ), I have been spending the majority of my days lounging on my bed without a care in the world. That has been changing a little this week though- with me just starting a volunteer job, and deciding to also take a free online course for fun. I guess I have been trying to organize through my Google Drive, especially with all the lecture notes and readings haphazardly placed (and me overthinking about all the mistakes I made in the stuff I submitted... welppp.) On the bright side, it's a good learning experience at least. Hopefully I won't blunder into the same haystacks as this semester.

I'm also starting to think back on some of the conversations I had with friends this semester about student woes. Mostly generic ones, but just things that I have been starting to think about more recently. I remember mentioning to another university friend once, with him in agreement-- that we students are actually really amazing, and we don't give each other enough credit for that. We somehow manage to decipher through loads of readings and academic journals, attempt to convince our professors that we understand the material (even when we don't, at least for me...) and (sometimes) actually succeed at it. And we do that for 12 whole weeks. I somehow feel like an imposter on Among Us when doing so- just waiting to be called out on my bluff (especially when writing research essays!!) (sidenote: for some reason I was so distracted by Among Us and Reddit during recess week, but now when I have all the time in the world, I somehow don't want to use them anymore....)

Another conversation I had with another friend from a previous inter-school event was about procrastination. I always viewed procrastination as a bad thing, that it's always the silent killer of productivity. But he encouraged me to think of it from another perspective: that procrastination can be seen as a sign of your body wanting you to take a break. And instead of resisting procrastination, by giving in to it (to a certain degree), it may actually be good.

A final conversation I would like to highlight is with a friend from my previous school. I would self-describe myself as an anxious, ambitious student- just like many of us here. He told me this pro tip that he uses: to go in with a neutral mindset. I countered and asked: but isn't it good to set targets? To have expectations? He replied that such a way allows him to avoid major disappointments and surprises that might spoil his experience. Hmm. Indeed food for thought.

Okay, it's now 3am, so I really should sleep. Otherwise I can't wake up on time tomorrow-- I suck at mornings. But ending off this post with the promised attached photo of my bag purchase today! Am really happy with it, and I hope everyone gets the time/opportunity to do something that makes them happy after this stressful semester. This post was really haphazard with many jumbled thoughts, but I hope it was enjoyable and relatable nonetheless!

Inky fingers and orange juice

I hadn't realised how slack I had been throughout the semester until I started to revise for my last exam (from the 23rd until the 25th!!!!!! Has really kept this Arts child on her feet). I had every intention of simply r e v i s i n g but that has quickly turned into l e a r n i n g because I made my notes when watching my lectures (notes that are full of holes, I am now realising) and never looked at them a g a i n and n o w, I have r e g r e t s.

These past few days have been rather arduous, in first-year university terms, and, on a few too.many occasions, climate change revision has been replaced with an hour of Gordon Ramsay slaughtering his colleagues in the kitchen with a certain creativity that elevates him to worship-worthy. I think creativity truly is the secret ingredient not only to his Michelin stars, but to life and self-defence. I stan.

Something that I used to NOT stan is summer, but I kinda think that I now do. Maybe it's the prospect of having my licence (by mid-January, if I figure out how to park and learn how to drive at a consistent speed) and some way to actually experience life ?!? Or having some semblance of freedom ? Or very little responsibility?! Chissà!!! I'm going to learn to surf properly this summer and try to read another 10 books before NYE and actually spend time with frands and just have fun !!! We have a loooong period of time to make up for, and I am looking forward to doing so before I become a second-year (ouch) ! I'm going to rid my despair @ not having properly been a jaffy by experiencing the jaffy life (albeit one not university-related) in December/January/Feb., and I am very excited!!

But, before we get to that, I need to get back to my climate change revision, though I'm most likely going to end up watching Puberty Blues or We Are Who We Are (HBO productions are genuinely the best but ze episode lengths are not an easily-distracted university student's friend) or maybe a little more of my pal Gordon. Fingers crossed that I don't regress to such habits, but I have spent 40 minutes sitting at the dining table doing just a liiiiittle more than nothing, so my future prospects are a bit dull.

 

Good luck with exams if you're one like me, who is yet to finish!! You can do it!! If you can boil an egg, you can make it anywhere in life <3333

 

Song of the blog post (but, really, song/love of my life): Dark red by Steve Lacy (tears)

It really is beautiful, all of it

Thank you everyone in Melbourne, finally being able to see some of my extended family has been an absolute blessing these past couple of weeks.  How strange, the week my Grandma is able to come to dinner for the first time in a long time is the same week I can go to the pub with my mates and 30 odd strangers 🙃

Goodbye Covid hair, maybe I'll run a bit faster now??

Recording recitals isn't fun, but I am getting better.  Fun tip - bring a lamp/candle into your "performance space".  Sounds crazy, but it helped me feel like I was actually giving a concert rather than just playing the flute into the wall.

Have to get up and be somewhere in the morning for the first time in forever so I better pop off.

 

Tonight's Listening: Reinecke Flute Concerto in D Major Mvt.II

Found my motivation

Exam season starts today 😥 Mine are in the second half of the month and maybe I'll finish my revision by then 🤞 Having done my time in the unforgiving IT industry, I am now a big believer in having more "life" in the work-life balance. Yesterday's 15-hour-coding marathon was a first in a very long time and got me nostalgic.

I had been wanting to study at UniMelb ever since I found out it was the only university in Australia that expected me to have a minimum of 65% regardless of my bank balance. That was almost 10 years ago 😒 But life got in the way and studies got parked. Years later, when I moved to Australia, I coincidently got my first apartment just near my dream uni. That was back in 2015 and I always wondered what would it be like to study here. Was not stalking, I swear!

Cut to 2020, more twists and turns later, I am finally here and finding it out first hand🥳 I never expected the studies to be easy, but I am still taken by surprise at how much efforts they need! I don't yearn to be crowned the best student of the year and I have come to realize that H1 is reserved for nerdy bookworms who really-weally want to be a researcher ⚗🔬🧬

My goal is to get enough marks to get me a job in yeah... finance and investment... that's me 🤣 Which may or may not take me east, one day. Melbourne simply doesn't have enough of those kind of opportunities, sadly. But until then, enjoying the coffee here.

And yeah, I am looking for option for next year. I am not keen on studying virtually where there is a lot of room for mis-interpretation 😛 I might change my degree to something more Cat-appropriate (management-y) or defer it to when normal studies resume. Worst case, study where the jobs are... we'll see. For now, I am super-charged 🔋 for exams and living my dreams 🤩

A whole 🍩 week but study for exams and forget the beaches this month.

-love,
MoneyOverMen

Study another day

With no lectures and tutorials this week, I am spending most of my time at the Career and Employability department (virtually, of course), picking their brains on resumes, jobs and internships. The number of times I have been there, I am sure I’ll get a job as their ‘Official Doorstopper’, if nothing else 😜

Not yet enjoying my new found outdoor freedom because I don’t have a hangout-gang here. But there’ll be enough time to find one after exams. Speaking of exams 😰 I need to find motivation to study. I just go on from disinterestedly browsing through 📖 to watching 📺. Totally should have signed up for the study-buddy program from the GSA. Kicking myself for it now 😖

Cat is trying to help with my studies though. She keeps pointing out the correct keys to press when I code. She is very good at peer coding and bossing me around. She’ll make a very good manager one day. #BossCat 😼

Doughnut days, but still take care.

-love,
MoneyOverMen

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P.S. For all the flowery language I use around how helpful everyone is and how awesome things are, I am seriously considering alternatives for next year. If the hurdles are too high to cross, might just find something else that doesn't set me up for failure. After all, the whole point of my being at university right now is to find a career in finance and investment, not to be a snobby academic.

Formula H1 Racing

I would have loved to have been a Formula 1 racing car driver, leaning into those curves around the sharp bends in the track and speeding along the straights. Instead, I became a lawyer and then a teacher. I’ve had a number of different jobs, sometimes after one contract ends, I feel like calling out to the Universe and saying “next!”.

Anyways, back to the driving metaphor. Sometimes, you need to pass successfully through the lower speed zones in order to drive at higher speeds, like 100-110 km/h. So, I guess, I had to receive a P, then a H2B before I received my first H1. Although, it was only for a assignment that is worth 20%, it was a good boost for my system. Hopefully, the next assignment result will be just as good.

As a fellow blogger said that ‘Ps for degrees’ and it’s not all about the results, I have to echo their comments. Keep your focus on your studies, just like the driver keeps his/her focus on the road and success will follow. Keep the focus on learning and you will enjoy the ride.

Check In Time! #3

1:36am, Singapore. I have just finished an assignment not too long ago, had a long chat and replied a long overdue email. I technically have 2 zoom calls scheduled for tomorrow late morning, and a couple over the weekend as well-- ranging from interviews for school stuff, job related calls (will be starting a new job after all my assignments, but first some introductory calls? Does this word make sense? I'm sorry... my brain is really fried), as well as volunteer tuition stuff. And of course, the bulk of it all, other upcoming assignments due.

I'm going to be honest here and say I absolutely have no idea what to blog about. And out of so many times to blog, here I am, choosing to do it tonight after a hectic evening and at an hour where everyone else in my family is asleep. I guess the only reason I can justify to this is that I just felt like it.

It's such a weird feeling. On one end I feel like everything's manageable and it will all turn out just fine, but on another I feel as if I'm having a midlife crisis. It's not just the assignments itself, but rather the whole aura and vibe surrounding this part of the semester that is worrying and suffocating. Especially so that it's my first semester in university, which makes me really unsure of what to expect.

I guess the good part of all of this is that I'm trying to find joy in the smallest of things. Even a video of mayo farting on Tiktok cheers me up.

And no, I'm not going to say generic things like: "you got this!" "this will pass!" "try to keep a positive mindset but not worry about that H1!" Haha, idealistic, ain't gonna happen. But here's a wild thought: maybe when we are lying at home bored stiff during the holidays, maybe after university when all this madness is over and the new madness comes that is in the form of jobs... maybe, just maybe, we'll miss this feeling. This worrying, suffocating vibe, that hundreds of freshmen face (and probably not just in Unimelb).

But till that day comes... enough said, better rush out my next essay.

From Passes to Honours, and everything in between

Honour the work that you’ve done so far.

Draw strength from your failures and use momentum to create your next masterpiece.

Enjoy the rhythm of working, of studying, of writing assignments.

Write essays when you feel inspired, when the words pour forth from you effortlessly.

Edit papers in quiet solitude and reveal the gems in your writing.

Proofread assignments, in peace, and not right before the deadline. Leave a week between editing your writing and come to it with fresh eyes. And ask, does it still make sense?

Write when you can and when you feel called to. You might find a talented writer within, yearning to write elegantly about your subject matter. You might find that you receive a H2B instead of P next time. You might find that in being more creative, you become more yourself, more you.

Phillip Pullman, said “Read like a butterfly, write like a bee”, (Stylish Academic Writing, Sword, 2012). So, dip and dive into your bookshelf, spend an afternoon simply reading, return to your assignment when you’re refreshed, and then write your little heart out. Celebrate your writing, regardless of what mark you receive, honour yourself for finishing something. Honour yourself for being you.

I thought after completing my Bachelor degree I would never have to write another 3000-word essay again, yet here I find myself writing a few, and in quick succession. Writing assignments don’t have to painful, you can make them into pieces of art; write interesting titles and sub-headings. Most importantly, write from the heart, so your mind feels at peace.

Finally free ✊

Today’s my last lecture for the semester and then I am a free bird 🦥

But I think I’ll miss them and the sense of normalcy they brought to my chaotic world where I couldn’t tell what would happen the next day but could always count on the lectures to be there, on time, like clockwork! Now I have to figure out my study schedule for the next few weeks and devise ingenious ways of sticking to it 🤓

I am not as good as Cat at plans and management, who was understandably sulky last weekend but is now back with her game face on, holding performance review meetings with Magpies in the backyard. The pies couldn’t stop singing about how awesome they were and how they swooped in and all, but Cat just showed them the droppings all over the garden and told them to shut their beak because they did a shitty job, quite literally 🧐 So much for good sportsmanship 😜

Other than that, mood’s 🤩 ‘cause the lockdown’s lifted. Finally! Looking for mates to go bar hopping, window shopping, door knocking or any other fun activity. Don’t care what it is, just wanna go out 🤨 If you are too, hit me up and let the adventures begin 🥳 But safely, with social distancing and 💩

-love,
MoneyOverMen

The descent

We're SO close to the end now!! This semester's passed by very quickly, but that's usually how I feel once something is over, so maybe that's my relief speaking. I've almost made it through my 2000-word essay grind, too, and, once again, my relief is piping up!! What the end of this semester AND the soon-to-be conclusion of my Essay Stress Fest means is that my first year at UniMelb is winding up—insanity, I tell you! I'll unpack this proclamation of insanity in the days (but probs actually in the weeks) to come, and reflect on my journey (ick) as a 2020 UniMelb Jaffy !! In the meantime, if you're Melbourne-grounded, enjoy our newfound freedom (assignments can wait)!!!

 

Song of the blog post: Latch by Sam Smith 🥔

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